Behind Church Doors - S01 E19

8 months ago

Behind Church Doors - S01 E19

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 19

SOPHIA

Tuesday morning, I awake feeling nauseous, rushing out of bed into the bathroom. I heave out the remnants of last night’s dinner in the toilet. After a few minutes, the feeling stabilizes and I return to the bedroom.

Ryan is sitting on the bed, there’s some food on the bedside table. He obviously went out to get us some breakfast. I couldn’t go back to my room last night so I opted to spend the night at his place. I turned off my phone as soon as we got to his place so Pastor G couldn’t be able to contact me.

“You are okay?” He asks.

“Please open up the windows so we can get some fresh air into the room. I don’t feel too fine,” I say. I don’t know if I will be able to keep up with the morning sickness.

This is the third time I am getting pregnant for Pastor G. I got rid of the other two before they got to this stage but I am keeping this one. I actually stopped taking the pill a few months ago and got pregnant on purpose, to trap him. But looking at his reaction yesterday I don’t know if I made the right decision, I am in love with this man and I was just desperate for him to leave his wife and marry me.

“You look pale, do you want me to take you to the doctor?” He asks after opening the window.

I take a deep breath.

“I am pregnant.”

“What? I thought you were on the pill and don’t I always use protection?” He asks.

Ryan and I have been intimate a few times. But I am more than sure this is Pastor G’s pregnancy. Every time Ryan and I sleep together he uses protection and I take the morning after pill just to be safe.

There is a moment of silence and then he says, “Forgive me for making it sound like it’s your fault you are pregnant. I know condoms aren’t 100% effective and you might have forgotten to take your pill at one point.

Kneeling down besides me, he caresses my shoulder, “I know we are still young and still in school but we can figure this out. I don’t want you to get rid of it. I can get a job and we could get married.”

I look up at him knowing that what I am about to say will break his heart. Ryan is a good person and he has been kind to me, he even helps me with my assignments but it would be unfair for me to pin this on him.

A tear begins to fall from my face, “It’s not yours,” I say in a low tone.

“What do you mean it’s not mine?”

“You are not the father. I have been seeing someone else,” I say my voice choking with emotion.

“Sophia? Are you serious?”

“Yes. When you picked me up yesterday I was with him, I told him about the pregnancy and he didn’t take it lightly, that’s why I was crying. He wants me to abort.”

“OMG! I don’t know what to say,” he says. There’s pain written all over his face. “Who is he?”

“I don’t think that’s important.”

“I want to know.”

“He is older and he is married.”

“Oh my God Sophia, a married man?” He asks, his voice filled with disgust. “How could you do such a thing to me? To us? I thought we had a good thing going.”

“I am really sorry Ryan. You are a good person and…”

“Just cut the crap. I don’t want to hear it.”

“I am sorry.”

“I think you should leave.”

“I am sorry Ryan, I didn’t want to drag you into this mess. I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me someday. Can I at least freshen up before I leave?”

“Sure,” he walks out of the room.

I know I have really messed up, Ryan is a good kid, I hope he finds someone that will love him for who he is. I can’t believe he didn’t yell at me, ya he is that gentle and calm. Maybe that is why I kept him around for this long.

Getting into the bathroom. I take a quick warm shower and when I step out I change into some clean clothes. I always leave some clothes over here when I visit, I don’t have the strength to start packing right now. I might come back for my stuff later or maybe Ryan will drop them off at school.

I am about to walk out of the bedroom when my stomach growls, reminding me I need to eat. So I walk back, sit on the bed and eat part of the food that Ryan brought for breakfast before heading out.

In the living room, Ryan has his eyes unfocused, staring into space, seemingly deep in thought.

“Ryan!” I tap his shoulder and he jumps a little startled. “I am sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You are done?”

“Yes.”

“Okay let me give you a ride back to school.”

“I am not going back to school today. Do you mind if you dropped me off at mum’s instead?”

“No I don’t,” he grabs his keys and we head out. Getting into the car, he drives off. He plays music all the way to mum’s place and we don’t even say a word to each other.

“Thank you,” I say as he pulls up at the gate.

“You are welcome.”

I open the car door but before I get out, he grabs my hand, “Sophia?”

“Yes?”

“Please don’t terminate. Every child is a gift no matter how they were conceived. You will figure this out.”

“Thank you,” I say. And with that I get out of the car. He drives off and I walk inside.

As I enter the house, I can hear voices in the living room. My mother obviously has visitors and I was hoping to catch her home alone.

“Kasuli,” she exclaims when she sees me. She is with Pastor G’s wife.

“Hey mummy.”

“You don’t have class today?”

“I do but I haven’t been feeling well. Hey auntie G.”

“Hey baby girl, what’s wrong with you?”