Hide And Seek - S01 E32

9 months ago

Hide And Seek - S01 E32

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 32

Damn it! I should end this now or else he will keep on telling me that he likes me but not the way that he's going to love me.

"You shouldn't tell someone that you like them if you don't mean it. It might lead to a misunderstanding if you continue that," my head starts to hurt. I didn't realize that I'm pushing my tears back for so long.

"But I mean that. I like you, Anna," I can feel the invisible dagger that keeps on getting deeper into my chest. "Stop it," I said but he continued like he didn't hear me. "I like you Anna Black!" he shouted. "Kyle! Please stop!" I yelled back at him. Total silence covered the whole place.

"Can't you see how hard this is for me? Can't you see how I am suffering just listening to your damn words?" This is the first time that I lost my temper, especially to Kyle who is my best friend. The tears that I've been holding back for so long are now racing down my cheeks.

"Do you know why I cried last time at the café? It's because I can't take the pain anymore. The pain that I thought I f***ing forgot after so many years," I'm ranting at him. I don't know how to stop.

"And that pain, you just making it worse, Kyle. Those words that come out from your mouth, and your actions, are continuously digging a huge hole in my heart that sometimes it's hard to bear until I find myself crying in the middle of the night. I'm hurt, Kyle. I'm hurt and you keep on putting salt in my wounds. Did you know how much it hurts when you love someone but you can't be with him because he's also in love with someone else? And now you keep on telling me that you like me? Hah! Are you out of your mind? Is it really fun to play with other people's feelings?"

I don't have any control over my emotions anymore. I appear to be calm in front of him, in front of everyone but tonight. Tonight is different.

"I'm so f***ing stupid to let myself believe that you are going to love me the way how I love you!" That was the last sentence that I shout the hell out of my lungs. I snap my head in his direction when I realize what I have done. Both our eyes widened at my sudden confession.

I didn't mean to spill it. I'm not even planning to say it to him. I don't want to make him confused about what he feels about me or about the girl he likes. Anger clouded my mind and made my mouth say those concealed words in the deepest part of my subconsciousness and the deepest part of my heart.

Heavy rain starts to pour above us. The amount of rain pouring from the sky is as heavy as what I feel at this time. I can feel the world on my shoulder.

He tried to walk towards me but I stepped back and started to run. I heard him call my name but I just ran. Run away from him as fast as I can.

The mud from the ground covered my pants and the lower part of my top. I'm all drenched from the rain and mud. When I entered my parent's house, his parent's shoes were nowhere to be seen. So, this means that they already left the house. "Anna, what happened?" My Mom asked with concern.

"We forgot to bring umbrellas so we ran on our way back while the rain was pouring heavily," I lied. I'm such a good liar. I even dare to lie to my parents.

"That's not what I mean, Anna. What happened to your eyes? It's all red," she noticed. I can't hide anything from my Mom. She's so observant. I can feel my legs getting weak. I can't bear to stand for so long, so I just slump on the cold floor.

"Mom, does it really hurt when you love someone?" I asked her. I didn't notice the tears flowing down my face. She looked at me with sympathy. She asked Dad to get me a towel to cover myself and brought me to the kitchen to talk. She made a bowl of soup for me to warm up my body and prevent catching a cold.

This is the first time I opened up to them because I can't take it anymore. I need to tell this to someone to at least ease the pain. The painful truth is that he can't give me the love I deserve because he's in love with someone else.

"Go to your room now and take a bath, you silly child," "Thanks, Mom, and Dad," I tried to smile even if I'm in pain but only a bitter smile came out. My parents seem to be hurt too but I'm feeling a little relieved that I told them my situation. I went straight to the bathroom when I stepped into my room. I didn't bother to get some clothes or even a fresh towel. I opened the shower and let it run with my clothes on.

I slump on the cold and wet floor with my legs on my chest and my head on my knees. I just let the water run to wash all the tears along with the dirt on my clothes. I feel so empty. This is the first time that I feel this emptiness. I feel that I lost some part of my heart. I can feel that my world is starting to fall apart.

What should I do after this? How can I face him when we go back? Should I run away again as I did eight years ago? I just cry all my heart out under the shower to at least lessen the pain that love causes me.