Men Dey Reason - S01 E50

1 week ago

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 50

I was instantly crippled.

I couldn’t find my legs.

“i say who dey there!!” Haruna shouted again.

“na me oh, na Flow” i replied him.

“Wetin u dey do there?” he asked, “i dey piss”

i lied.

“Why you no piss for toilet?” he was beginning

to

ask too much questions, “piss dey catch me and

i

no wan go house, nahim make me dey piss

here” i

replied.

Just when i tot we were free, that we weren’t

victims but victors of L105 or rather L104, i

heard,

“thief oh!! Thief!!, e don thief my groundnut

finish

oh!!” it was Nkiru shouting.

I was sure it wasn’t Bigie, neither was it Man

that

Nkiru was calling thief because i could see

them

both where they were hiding from where i

stood.

Who then could it be?

Oh my world!! Brainbox.

I came out and saw Haruna giving Brainbox a

hard

chase.

Brainbox ran so fast that his legs weren’t even

touching the ground.

Brainbox ran towards the road unknown to him

that

there was a bike coming to his direction.

“Brainbox!!!!” I shouted, thinking he would

hear my

voice and stopped running. He did stop, but

that

was after he stumbled on something on the

floor,

and fell.

The distance between where he was lying and

where the bike halted wasn’t up to 2metres,

“u

wan die abi? If u die na hell fire straight oh”

the

bike man shouted.

Brainbox wasn’t even moving, or like the Bike

man

said, had he landed in Hell fire already?

Since the Holy Bible says: “it is appointed onto

man, once to die, and after this, the

judgement”.

Why was Brainbox’s judgement so fast? Or was

his

sins so numerous that the Devil just had a

walkover? All these were questions i asked

myself

as i walked towards where his body was lying.

“Haruna, see wetin u cause, my friend no gree

wake again, u don kill am oh” i said, sending

shivers down Haruna’s Spine. “i no kill am oh,

him

thief my wife groundnut nahim make me dey

pursue am” Haruna cried out. “but u see

groundnut

for him hand?” I queried. At that moment,

Haruna

was practically crying revealing his rotten

teeth.

“wetin we go do na to rush am go hospital” i

said.

At that moment, Snoop came to meet the u’gly

scene. “make we rush am go hospital, before

him

go die” Snoop said.

Like the cliche goes: “like minds, reason

alike”. It

was glaring to me that Brainbox was okay. He

was

just faking unconsciousness. because i could

see

him wearing a light smile.

“ehnnn Haruna we wan rush am go hospital

but,

we no get money wey we go take pay doctor

oh” i

said. “like how much una go take pay Doctor?”

Haruna asked panicing. “like 15000naira, but

just

bring 10000naira make we beg the doctor weda

him go collect am” i replied with my “419”

talent.

Snoop wanted to say something, i winked at

him

and he kept mute. “10000naira to much na”

Haruna

cried out. “ok, no worry i go go report u for

police

say u don kill person” I threatened. “no oh, e

never

reach police case na” Haruna replied walking

slowly

to go fetch the money. “do quick oh, u know

say e

remain small wey him go die” i said and Haruna

increased his pace.

“Snoop, go tell Man and Bigie make dem never

come out oh, say after 20minutes, make dem

come

meet us for where dem dey watch ball” I told

Snoop. “where dem dey?” Snoop asked. “dem

dey

dat bush wey dey back of Nkiru shop, dem dey

hide

there” i replied. Though Snoop never

understood

what was going on, he still obeyed me.

After about ten minutes, Haruna came back

with

the 10k and gave it to me. “where the motor

wey u

go take carry am go hospital?” Haruna asked.

“no

worry i go carry am for my shoulder” i replied.

Though Brainbox was a bit heavy, but the tot

of

the 10k Haruna gave me energized me to carry

him

on my shoulder without feeling the pains.

As i walked far from the sight of Haruna, i

heard,

GOAL!!!! “MAN U don score” i tot.

But the most important goal at that moment

was

the goal i scored Haruna the Illiterate.

“how we go take share the 10k?” Brainbox

asked

me after he resurrected from my shoulder.

“how u

want make we share am?” i inquired, “ok,

ehnnn we

go tell them say na 8k Haruna give u, and na 3k

be

my share, 2k be ur share, all of them go share

the

remaining 3k” Brainbox informed. “what of

the 2k

wey go remain, wetin we go do with am?” I

asked

Brainbox.

I tot he would say the 2k was tithe. Tithe that

would end up in his pocket. Or was tithe paid

for

419 money? Brainbox was fund of cheating

when it

comes to sharing money.

He never mentioned that it was for tithe,

rather he

said, “the remaining 2k, i go take 1k, u go

take 1k,

because na we work pass”. “BRAINBOX!!!!” I

hailed,

“u get correct brain”

“the money wey Haruna give me get plenty

change, make i go one corner go count the 2k

comot, stay here, if other guys dey come,

them go

meet u here, u go tell dem say make dem wait i

go

piss” i suggested. “no wahala, enter that bush

for

there” Brainbox said pointing at a bush path.

What he never knew was that i had something

up

my sleeve.

Like they say: “show me your friends, and i will

tell

you who you are”. The Brainy Brainbox was my

friend. Lemme leave you to be the judge of who

i

was. Brainbox had for a while tutored me on

the

act of artifice.

It was about 7:30pm so the bushy place i stood

was a bit dark, and i wasn’t even scared that

an

animal like Snake might eat me up for dinner.

What

i was interested in was cheating.

Big time cheating.

The money Haruna gave me was hanging at the

right hand side of my boxers waist band and the

money Chief gave us was hanging at the left

hand

side of my boxers waist band.

My hands went straight to remove the money

at

the left hand side. I counted it with the help

of my

phone torch light, to my surprise it was 30k.

“una

never know anything sef, i go cheat una

today” i

tot.

I quickly counted 10k out of the 30k, dug a hole

on

the ground, and buried it. I had concluded that

i

would tell my guys that the money Chief gave

us

was 20k.

I quickly kept the 20k back to the left side of

my

boxers waist band, and i removed the money

Haruna gave me.

It took me so long a time to finish counting the

money because it was full of lower currency

denominations. After i finished counting, i

discovered the money wasn’t complete. It

wasn’t

10,000naira but, 9,855naira. “Haruna nawa for

you

oh, see as you pack 5naira and 10naira full dis

money, e no even complete sef” i tot.

I seperated the 2k Brainbox told me to

seperate

and kept it hanging at the centre of my boxers

waist band.

My boxers waist band was beginning to slack

because it held three bunch of money. At the

right

side was 7,855naira, at the left was

20,000naira,

and at the centre touching my d’ick was

2,000naira.

I promised myself that none of these money

would

fall off, a promise i was sure gonna keep.

The same way i promised myself i would return

to

collect the money i planted on the ground, that

is if

the money wouldn’t have germinated, grow

tall, and

produced “fruits” for harvest.

“Flow u never piss finish? come make we dey go

watch match na” i heard Bigie’s voice.

As i walked to go join my guys, i suddenly

noticed i

had automatically changed walking step. I was

walking like a suicide bomber who had a bomb

planted in his waist.

My prayer was that none of the three bomb

should

detonate soon.

To Be Continued…

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Men Dey Reason - S01 E49

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Men Dey Reason - S01 E51

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