Men Dey Reason - S01 E31

Story 2 years ago

Men Dey Reason - S01 E31

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 31

“Nkiru i wan buy 1500 recharge card, MTN” i

ordered as we got to Nkiru’s shop. “Oga Haruna,

i dey greet oh” I greeted Huruna her husband

who was seated in the shop carrying their baby.

“oga Haruna i hail oh” Brainbox also greeted.

Brainbox stood at my back staring at the wares

on display. Unaware to me that he had already

started “writing” L101 “exam” and his next

course would be L102.

“oga Haruna, dis una pekin fine oh” i flattered

as i carried the little baby from him. I actually

said that with heavy irony. “ehen na her mama

she resemble na” Haruna said smiling.

My oh my!! The baby was d’amn “beautifully

u’gly”, just like her mum. “Like mother, like

daughter” goes the popular adage. But my prayer

for the baby was that she doesn’t grow up to

become u’glier than her mum. If not she would

most definately win the “u’gly pageant” as the

u’gliest woman in Nigeria.

Brainbox finished writing L101 exam and started

writing L102, as i could feel him putting

something in my back pocket. I tried to figure out

what it could be, then i concluded it to be small

size Peak tin milk because it was a bit heavy.

After about 2minutes of carrying the beautifully

u’gly baby, i handed her to her Dad, before she

would infect me with “u’gly disease” making my

unborn child look like her.

Nkiru handed over the 1500 recharge card to me,

and i paid.

As i was about turning to leave, i felt another

Peak tin milk entered my other back pocket. It

seemed Brainbox had not finished writing L102

exam, so i tried to kill time by recharging my

phone with the 1500 card. Before i could finish

recharging, “pens up!!”, Brainbox signalled the

end of L102 exam by pinching me at the back.

As we walked out of the shop, i saw from the

corner of my eyes that Haruna was staring at my

two bulging back pockets. Or had we gotten carry

over in L102?

“abi him don catch us?” i asked myself as i

increased my steps.

“wey Baba jay na?” Brainbox asked as we enter

the room. “him dey toilet oh, the guy dey vomit

for toilet” Man said. “so na dis Saint Remy wey

him drink, nahim make am dey vomit, after him

go say him be old man” i said.

“wetin una carry for una pocket na?” Man asked.

I brought out the content of my back pocket. I

was right, it was two tin Peak milk. Brainbox also

emptied his pocket, what he brought out

surprised me.

Sadines, tin tomatoes, sachet salt, onion balls

were what he stole. We had actually gone

shopping, shopping without paying.

“dis Brainbox u be original thief oh, see all the

things wey u thief, infact na u be the king of

looting for dis house oh” i said.

“which kin king of looting him be? For where

Baba jay and Man dey? E get one day wey Baba

jay go Nkiru place go do L101, so wen him reach

there, him com see say na Boxers him wear and

Boxers no dey get pocket, naso him com put the

tin tomatoe for him mouth oh, as Nkiru com dey

talk to Baba jay, Baba Jay no answer her so she

no go know say him put tin tomatoe for him

mouth, instead Baba jay just dey shake him

head” Snoop narrated. “shey Nkiru catch am?” i

asked, “for where, dem dey catch breeze?” Tega

added. I believed the story, because Baba jay

had a mouth that was wide enough to contain

even as much as “five” tin tomatoes

conveniently. (kids: don’t try this at home).

“u never hear anything sef, what of Man wey

wear Cap go do L101, as him reach Nkiru shop

naso him thief dried Fish com put am for the Cap,

com wear the Cap for him head” Tega narrated.

(kids: you can try this at home, but don’t let

mummy catch you).

I couldn’t help but laughed at how guys could go

the extra length just to get an A in the course

L101. In my Mind, i was trying to figure out

between Man and Baba jay who could be called

“the course rep.” of L101.

“mehn! Boys get skills for Looting oh” Brainbox

confessed and we all laughed.

An hour later, it was time to sleep. It was

certian that two persons would be sleeping on

the floor. The question was who and who would

the two persons be?

Man whispered an idea to me,”Man wey dey

reason!!” i cheered.

“Tega, show for outside, me and Man wan see u”

i told Tega.

Tega joined us outside and Man said, “u know say

Pkc no dey, and u know say na two visitors you

bring? That one mean say na two people go sleep

for ground, and e no go make sense make ur

visitors sleep for ground?” Man explained. “yes

na” Tega responded. “so me and Man wan tell u

say we go sleep for ground, but u go find us small

money” I said, “like how much?” Tega inquired,

“just give us 1000naira, 500naira for Flow,

500naira for me” Man said.

“ok, make i give una 600naira abeg” Tega

pleaded. “no be groundnut we dey sell wey u go

dey price am na” Man said. “u be our main man,

no wahala bring am we go manage am like that,

bring the 600naira” I added.

As Tega was bringing out the money from his

wallet, i recalled what MOG told me earlier, his

words: “200naira blessing is not the same as

500naira blessing”. I had already recieved

doublefold blessing that day.

Sunday came with the thought of church service.