Men Dey Reason - S01 E19

Story 2 years ago

Men Dey Reason - S01 E19

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 19

“unu come to work?” Old Solja asked, “yes Sir”

Man

answered. “unu Madam never come?” he asked

again, “yes sir, she never come, so we say

make

we come greet you na” Man responded. “unu

don

try as unu come, make unu sidon na” Old Solja

said

offering us seat. I wondered why he replaced

“una”

with “unu”. Infact i lost count of how many

times

he mentioned the word “unu” for the five

minutes

we stood in front of his house. The “unu” was

becoming a rhyme. “no Old Solja, no worry we

go

soon go sef, our Madam go soon come, this na

my

two friends, this one name na Flow, dis one

name

na Brainbox, i come show dem to you” Man

added.

“ok unu don dey go?” Old solja asked, “we don

dey

go sir” our spokesMAN responded. “únú

n’gbàmbo”

Old solja mentioned the word “unu” again but

this

time in Ibo.

Work started earlier that morning.

“Brainbox how come u dey three bags and i still

dey two bags na?” i inquired. “wetin u call me,

no

be Brainbox? Ehnn i use my brain dey work na.

U

dey use power, me i dey use brain nahim make”

Brainbox responded. “Flow come with me to

carry

more bags of cement from the Cement store”

Madam Ifeoma ordered.

As i walked behind her, i continously gazed at

her

Television shaped Ikebe, making my d’ick to

rise.

My d’ick bulged out of my working trouser

forming

a mountainous culve.

We got there, she entered the store and

showed

me the bags of cement i was to carry. I carried

it.

My d’ick was still as hard as a rock, it seemed

she

saw my standing d’ick so she said, “what is

this?”

pointing to the direction of my d’ick. “na my

Chiarman, the thing no dey respect himself, na

wetin my Papa give me, shebi u sef get wetin

ur

Mama give u for ur back?” i almost said.

She wasn’t actually pointing at my d’ick, she

was

pointing to a bag of cement that has torn and

the

cement was pouring out. I told her i would

come

back to carry that particular bag for us to make

us

of its content.

I moved close to the door and Madam Ifeoma

was

still standing at the door with her “big nyash”

facing me, she couldn’t even hear the “excuse

me”

i was saying. “abi dis woman want make i use

my

p’rick nak her nyash? My p’rick go break be

that

oh” i tot. “Excuse me!” i yelled, oweing to the

fact

that the cement on my head was almost

breaking

my neck bone. She finally gave way.

As i finished carrying 12bags of cement from

the

store to the site my neck failed me, i was

walking

like a robot, “so una go dey here dey work, i go

go

carry cement wey una go take work abi? Na

Ojoro

oh” i almost said.

Work ended by 5pm, i mixed four bags of rice

and

beans, Brainbox mixed Six, Igbakwambo and

Ochagbuoria mixed countless bags.

“oboy i dey hungry oh” I said. “i go carry una

go

Soroagwa place go chop Akpu and Ofe Oha” Man

said. “who be Soroagwa na?” Brainbox

inquired. “no

worry when we reach there u go see am” Man

answered(his usually way).

Man had a place to satisfy every of his urge,

ranging from; Obele place to Paapa place to

Mama

Calabar place and Now to Soroagwa place, who

knows where next, maybe Heaven place?

The only thing i could tell was that Soroagwa in

Ibo

means “follow this attitude”. If only time could

speak, it could have told me what lies ahead at

Soroagwa Canteen.

“Soroagwa give me Akpu and Ofe Oha, u go put

three meat oh” Man ordered as we got to

Soroagwa canteen. “wetin i go give u?”

Soroagwa

was asking me. I wasn’t listening, i was busy

staring at my u’gly skin, “see me wey i be fine

yellow boy before, see as cement don spoil my

skin, wetin i go do dis my skin now” i tot.

“Bros wetin i go give u na?” Soroagwa asked

again,

“ehen, give me the same thing wey u give my

guy

but my own go be two meat oh” i responded.

“what

of u nkor?” he asked Brainbox. “me i want the

same thing but u no go put meat” Brainbox

responded. “but Brainbox, why u no want meat

na?”

Man inquired. “u no know say doctor say make i

no

dey chop meat?” Brainbox responded. “u dey

lie

abeg, u dey chop meat well well, u no wan just

spend ur money, how much be meat na?” i said.

“Brainbox!! Brainbox!!” i cheered. “Brainbox

enjoy ur

money oh, dead body no dey enjoy oh, na only

people wey dey alive dey enjoh oh” Man added.

Brainbox was a very stingy guy. When we were

in

Umunkoto, he would tell me he had no money on

him, and that he had not eaten since morning,

he

would even ask me to give him some money for

him to go eat, with the way he begged for

money,

they was no way i would not have given him.

After

giving him the money, the next moment i would

see him drinking beer at a bar. “abi person fit

drink

beer for empty belle?”.