Chronicles Of A Runs Girl - S01 E55

2 years ago

Chronicles Of A Runs Girl - S01 E55

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 55

Unlovable

My mind was on getting home. As I walked past the big compounds of VGC I wasn’t thinking of the girls dancing for the men and I wasn’t thinking of Rotimi. Later I would realise I wasn’t even thinking about Johnny, and this would make me feel bad. But I just wanted to get home and I was praying and hoping the girls were all out and I would have the mattress to myself.

At God knows what time in the night, the roads were quiet. The street lights and the houses where lit but the serenity of the night was not disturbed by generators and I could hear the crickets chirping – something you don’t hear in VI. I’ve read somewhere that only male crickets chirp, and it’s a sound they make to attract female crickets. But why do they do it every night? Are they that randy? Are males, irrespective of specie, always looking to have sex? Men -I hate them. I hate them, I hate them, I hate them.

Yes, my mind was blank and those random thoughts fleeting through my head were just that: random thoughts. My mind was so blank and tuned into my random thoughts that I did not hear his car till he was right by my side. He rolled down the window to speak to me.

“What did I do?” he asked.

It was Rotimi. Truthfully, he had not done anything. I wanted to tell him this but I felt an overriding need to tell him something more urgent, something that had just occurred to me right then: I was losing my mind!

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” I told him, and it was the most truthful thing I’d said all night. Once again I was feeling my life spiralling out of my control. I had started suspecting it sometime ago but now I was almost too sure that my random acts of irrationality and madness, and running, were down to something more serious than the London boy or the life of a hustling girl. I truly and honestly realised there was something wrong with me, in the head, and I don’t even smoke weed o.

“Babes, you were raped. You are in trauma. It’s expected. Come in. Let me take you home.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why do you want to take me home?”

“Babes, it’s like 1 AM. How are you going to get home?”

“I’ll get a taxi.”

“At this time?”

“Yes.”

“But what if you don’t get one?”

“There is always a taxi?”

“And how long are you going to wait for one?”

“As long as it takes.”

“But I can drop you.”

“I don’t want to go home.”

“So where do you want to go? You want to go back to the party?”

“No.”

“So, where?”

“To your house.”

“My house?”

By now I was standing by the passenger door, his car was idling, and he was leaning on the passenger seat to see my face.

“Isn’t that what you want? Didn’t you want to take me home tonight?”

He kept looking at me but it was too dark to see the look on his face.

“Just come in,” he said and he opened the door for me. I stood still.

“This is what you were planning since,” I said.

He shook his head.

“No, I wasn’t planning anything.”

“Why are you lying?”

“I’m not. Look, I’m married. I have a wife, so I wasn’t thinking of taking you home or anything like that. But you can come to my place if you don’t want to go home. My wife is in England. You can sleep in the guest room.”

What is it about having a woman that makes a man more desirable? I won’t lie that it’s not true, and I won’t lie that I’ve not wanted a guy even more when I’ve found out he already has a woman. Some people have put it down to competition; others have explained it away as knowing that he’s dependable – ostensibly because he has a woman he’s taking care of. Yet others – and I tend to agree with them – say it’s because we think he must have something to offer that the other woman, his woman, sees in him. Is this true? Do we really base our decision to date a man, to flirt with him, to get into his car, to encourage his attention, on whether or not another woman already has him? If so, my question is, who was he with that made the woman he’s with now want him? Or was she better than us and saw in his single self, something that other women to follow would see in her man? I don’t know.