Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 33
I AM GAY!
That’s what Adam said. A gay. A mother freaking gay. Standing outside his apartment, I listened with popping eyes.
The thunder rumbled above and lightening crashed. Little drops of rain pelted down on me but I didn’t move a muscle. Adam, gay? You’ve got to be kidding. What the hell is going on here? This must be a joke. It has to be.
I sat on the bed, staring at the floor without looking at her.
” When I started my studies abroad, I met this guy. His name was Gary. Gary was in the same department as I was. He was famous for his brilliance and athletic prowess. At that time, I was having trouble trying to cope with my new school and my academics. I failed all my tests and my first year exam. Just when the school’s examination board threatened to drop dull students out, Gary came to my aid,” I paused. ” With time we got closer. He had a job as a part-time gym instructor. We’d go jogging together, work out and have drinks at the bar. Before I knew it, coolval stories my academics picked up and I had no troubles with my grades anymore. It didn’t take me long to know that I finally found someone that I like. Wearing the same brand of clothes, wearing the same shoes, sitting in the same class, born in the same year and having the same likes and dislikes. I fell in love with Gary but I was soo scared to let him know about my feelings because I knew it wasn’t right. What I never knew was that Gary felt the same way about me too. During a hot night club outing, we got drunk and I had to sleep over in his house.” The memory filled me with guilt as it’s picture flashed in my mind. ” It started with a kiss and before we both knew it, we were sleeping naked in each other’s arms.”
Katelyn’s eyes grew wider than her opened mouth. She was soo shocked beyond words.
Unable to meet her eyes, I looked away. ” We began going out. At first, I wasn’t comfortable with it but since gay relationships and marriages were legal over there, there wasn’t much to hide about. Still, I wasn’t comfortable with it. We became the sweethearts of the school. We made a promise to each other not to date women or have any feelings towards any member of the opposite sex. We promised to be faithful to each other till graduation. We kept to that promise until after graduation. I moved in to live with Gary and our love for each other only grew stronger…” the rain outside had started and built up into a storm. A lightening flashed outside the window, causing me to pause. ” Untill one day, I caught Gary in bed with a woman. I grew insanely jealous and hurt because he cheated on me and broke his own side of our promise to each other. I had to run away, I couldn’t stand it anymore. Somehow he apologized and convinced me to forgive him. I did but from then henceforth I began viewing our relationship in a new different way. Wasn’t this bad? Two men in a relationship….it’s not normal. Where I came from, it was viewed as an abomination. How could I have forgotten my cultural values and traditions. The day I caught Gary with that woman told me a lot of things. Men weren’t created for men. Men were created for women, it just wasn’t balanced to be a gay. But I wasn’t ready to leave Gary. I still loved him. Then one day he told me he wanted kids. I was blown away. But I’m a man, I can’t possibly give him kids. He suggested a transgender surgery and I refused cause it scared me. That wasn’t what my plans were for our relationship. Gary and I got into a fight because of this issue. I couldn’t stand it anymore so I bought a one way ticket flight, made some arrangements and flew back home. I couldn’t face my parents because of my heavy sin and guilty.”
My hands balled to fist. ” I was utterly disappointed in myself. Once back home, I saw my people, the men and women and the values I’ve left behind. It killed away my gay spirit like a sin being purged away but I still felt guilty. To my horror, the women folks no longer had any impact on me. I’ve been around many women, I tried watching p--n but still, I felt nothing. It was like my manhood was cut off. But whenever I thought of Gary, I get aroused. It disgust me to know I’ve been soo deep in this astrocity of sin to bother about women. I went to church and seek counsel from a bishop, still it didn’t help. The only person who I could feel something whenever I was around her was my childhood friend, Violet. Gary sent me numerous text messages and calls but I was scared of replying them. I’m rotten….I’m an abomination…I….I don’t deserve to be loved by anyone. It’s not that I don’t find you pretty or sexy but I’m a dead man to women. I feel nothing for you. It hurts me to see you like this but my love for Gary is still there. I’m addicted and I don’t know how to stop. I… I’m sorry.”
She gaped at me, the same way a frightened child would stare at a ghost. Her eyes were soo heavy with tears, when she blinked, they dropped like a flood to the ground.
Suddenly, she rushed to her feet and ran out of the room.
” Katelyn wait!” I shouted in alarm and ran after her. When I stepped out of the room, I ran into Violet.
She was standing outside my apartment, her back turned to me, her face in her palms, sobbing like a child.
” V-violet?” I whispered in shock.
She turned and I was surprised to see her eyes soaked in tears. The rain fell hard on the both of us but no one moved a muscle. I couldn’t tell if she was crying or not because of the rain but her eyes were flowing like a river.
” H…how…how could you?” She asked in a broken voice.