Diary of a broke Naija playboy - S01 E31

2 years ago

Diary of a broke Naija playboy - S01 E31

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 31

“You are plus one today, that’s a plus to your your age, a plus to your wisdom, to your intelligence, to your brilliance, to your sexiness, to your hips, ass and boobs and a plus to everything good and sexy in your life, may your birthday bring great Joy that will surprise even you into your life. My star, my moon, my baby mama, my headache and my soft mattress, happy birthday”

There is only one person in this world that i can send this type of message to. You are free to guess.

I made sure I woke her up with it, i wanted mine to be the first message she will receive on her birthday otherwise it may mean a one month long fight between us.

Her reply came in few seconds after I sent the message. She called shaa, apparently my text had woken her up. The sleep was still all over her voice but she was excited.

“Baby, I love you so so much much sugar, muaah!!” that was a kiss

“Haa, easy o before you give me diabetes, happy birthday sweetheart”

“Thanks baby, I love you”.

“I know, so who’s taking you out?”

“Are you not coming? ”

“Come where?”

“My lodge nah, Neche you have to come o, its my birthday, your baby’s birthday” she stressed that baby and birthday and my brain translated it to “come and spend money”

“Your birthday and then? Is it Christ’s birthday abi Christmas that i will visit you?”

“Hmmm, Neche even on my birthday, you want to start quarrel?maybe you think I will fight with you and then you can dodge giving me my gifts, lie lie, I will fight with you today, tomorrow you will bring me my gift o”. I only smiled, she don catch me like that. Shaa I was planning to pay her a surprise visit but on a low key. I will just go there, chop food, chop her and go back to my house, I have done enough fasting and needed to flex my muscle.

“Bae chillax naa, we will see later but not today” I said

“Why naa, it’s not fair o, if its other girls now”

“Ehe, if it’s other girls?”

“I don’t know, Just don’t talk to me again if you don’t visit me today, imagine, you have not even been to my lodge for once, to see how I am coping, if I am fine or not”

“If you are not fine, come down to my place. In fact i don’t blame you, na me send you text message ” I said and gave her a 200km hiss.

“Neche am sorry, please come naa, I want to see you, eh biko”

“I’m not coming, I don’t have transport money, happy birthday and goodbye”.

The call ended like that, none of us usually took the fights to heart as it was a normal thing. I manage to pull myself up from the bed and brushed my teeth before I forgot. Dressed up my room and went outside.

“Good morning sweetheart”. That was chinenye greeting me, she was one of the curve queens in our lodge, her face normally looked better when she had make up on than when it was bare, but she fine to an extent shaa tbh. So since her face was bare, I just fixed my gaze on her boobs.

“Baby wassup naa”

“I’m sharp”

“I can see that ” I said eyeing her all over and spiritually licking my lips.

“Its like your body is still asleep” I said shifting my gaze back to her boobs.

“How?”

“Your breast, they are lying down on your singlet, wake them up”.

She hit me with the towel she was holding and burst into laughter. I shaa adjusted the singlet for her and ran into James room. I met the nigga lying on the floor fast asleep. I walked up to him and beat him up.

“Nna guy what naa, someone can not sleep for you again even on Saturday ” he protested rubbing his eyes.

” Mumu today is Friday, I just need one thing from you”

“What? ”

” That flower your babe gave you for your birthday”

“what for?”

“I want to give it to Naza for her birthday, I hope the scent is still there? ”

” Oh, today is her birthday”

“Yes, where is the flower abeg?”

“Erm check the wardrobe “.

I got the flower, a red one, the smell was still partially there but it wasn’t much.

” You body odour is already smelling all over it” I said looking down at him. He gave me one kind look that made me correct my statement. “Don’t worry, I can manage it”.

“One more thing” I said pocketing the flower.

“What is it? ”

” The birthday wishes card she also gave you”

“Noo, that one is specially made for me, She will ask for it one day and i can’t give it to you”

“James please naa, remember I once gave you Chinaza’s bumshort to give to your babe as a gift” I said hiding a smile, he eyed me and smiled.

“Oya carry microphone and tell everybody naa, get it from my locker”.

I was able to dig up the card, it had a beautiful design and the message was just perfect for my baby.

“How will you change the name on it?” James asked

“Don’t worry, Just watch me”.

After over 15 minutes of cutting and designing bits and pieces of paper, I was able to cover the names on the card and wrote mine on it. My next stop was in shapes room. She was on a cotton short nicker and a top that looked like a bra and a singlet. It showed her stomach and her boobs too. I would have been distracted but I was there for serious business, besides anytime I set my eyes on shape, the first thing that comes into my mind is Virgin.

“The sexiest virgin alive” I hailed her as I got into her room.

“Hey, sweetheart”

“How was your night?”

“Cute, yours? ”

” Fine o, Just this cold and loneliness”. She smiled and eyed me naughtilly.

“Hope you have wished Naza a happy birthday?”

“It was the first thing I did today and that is also why I am here”

“Tell me about it”

“Well first one, can i have your powder?”.

“Ok”. Her powder smelled absolutely nice so all I did was take out the rose flower, sprinkle the powder on it while Shape watched like I was doing a merlin something. I managed to get the flower to smell like the powder, it was a lovely one and shape laughed at my ingenuity. What else can a broke lover boy like me do?.

“Now onto the next one” I said and shape looked at me in a really sweet way and my mind yelled, Virgin!

“Ermmm, shape, do you have a new pant or bra that you are not using?”. Hahaha, now, that was supposed to be a joke but i was serious in a way.

“Why?” she asked Giving me a puzzled look.

“I want to add it to a list of Naza’s birthday presents”

“But me and her don’t wear the same size naa, I’m bigger than her” she said and that was true, Naza was the hour glass type of girl but everything was moderate in a sexy kinda way, but shape, men she was just shape.

“Don’t worry, the tailor will slim fit it” I said and we both burst into laughter.

So with everything set, I was ready to drop in on Naza like a nuclear bomb, her presents were lined up on my bed according to heights. The card, the flower and a bottle of red wine, borrowed from a lodge mate. I had promised to return it to him once I get back, Naza hated red wine and I was sure she wouldn’t drink it but at least she would acknowledge that I bought WINE even though it wasn’t her type but then, I can always say I forgot that she hated it. Shape was going to accompany me, I don’t know who was going to pay for the transportation but then, I know that the Lord will always be Good. 11am on the dot, I was preparing to take my bath when my door opened.

“Shape, its stilll early naa, I thought we agreed 1pm” I said facing the T.v.

“Hello” a totally different, Seductive and hypertension reducing voice called out. I jerked up and took a look in the direction of the door. I didn’t know whether to be angry or smile at her. She just stood there in all her beauty and curvature, her skintight mini gown x-raying her body, her face looking better than it was the last she had visited, her curves were sharper than a French curve abi bending corner. She was a heavy, the Mercy Johnson kind of heavy. The moment I set my eyes on Cynthia at my door, I knew Chinaza’s birthday was about to be relegated to the background.

[]If you thought I was ever going to miss My baby’s birthday just because Cynthia dropped her bad ass in my room that fateful day, well, you would have thought right and if you thought I wasn’t going to miss Naza’s birthday for anything in the world, errrm, you should be right also.

Of the above two school of thoughts, the later was more applicable, I so much wanted to stay back and sample what Cynthia had brought for me, that was me, if it’s cute and shapy and wears a skirt, I’m in. But then, Shape wasn’t ready for that and besides, she had to protect the interest of her dearly beloved friend.

“Cynthia,” I had sang out the very moment she walked into my room, all thick with her endowments. She would have been very muscular if she was a man. She gave me that look that would knock any man out and make any flaccid d--k do a dab. As I sat there, the Cynthia I saw was far from the devil I had always tagged her to be, you couldn’t find any better definition for a perfect angel, only that she wasn’t fair or had wings.

“Baby,” she muttered, walking up to me on the bed and drawing me into her thick, sweet, seductive perfume. She sat besides me, her boobs all over me like the anointing was on the disciples on the day of Pentecost.

“You never told me your were coming.” I managed to say amidst the whole excitement.

“You would have told me not to come.” she replied, dropping her head on my shoulder.

“I missed you,” she whispered and dropped her hand on my bare laps, just below my boxers.

“You missed me abi you missed the banging.”

She laughed and withdrew her hand.

“I missed everything.” she replied. I turned to face her and God was I tempted. I imagined the about 30 minutes fun that would happen if I was to get down with this fine lady and compared it with the days of unlimited tongue lashing that would happen if I happened to miss Chinaza’s birthday. My mind told me it wasn’t worth it but the flesh was weak all through. My body was going to be disappointed in me if I missed this opportunity of sampling this girl again after a very long time.

“So what did you bring for me?”, I asked, trying to cover up all the dirty thoughts going on in my mind.

“See me here, am I not enough?” she asked, giving me a suggestive smile.

“You what? You want to come and forget something again abi?” I asked and she burst into laughter.

“How is your baby? Are you still together?” she asked maybe expecting a no. She was disappointed shaa but that didn’t stop her from stealing a kiss. A kiss I willingly allowed her to steal. We adjusted ourselves on the bed for a little romance, as e dy hot. My lips found its way to hers and we kissed explosively, kissing each other out of breath, my hands were already on their ways to her zipper, yapping at her bra strap at the same time, the bra snapped first and the load of her massive jugs fell on her clothes. I moved my lips down to her nape and my left hand involuntarily found its way to her mass of fleshy breasts.

It had been a long time since I last got some action and my body reflected it so much. One thing to the other and we were both on the bed, a few inches to being fully unclad. My fingers were already penetrating her wet coochie while my fully erect peni were protesting to take their rightful place, she moaned softly to my touches and held my near exploding d--k with her hands, trying to dislodge it. I tugged and pulled at her panties and she held my hands to my surprise. I gave her a look that portrayed all the vexation I was going to heap on her if she dared stopped what she had started. She merely smiled and nodded towards the door.

“Lock your door please,” she said and I jerked up from her, shooting my gaze towards the open door.

“Ok, the door,” I replied and got up from the bed, adjusting my boxers and heading towards the door, I waved the curtains aside and Shape was there, staring at my awkwardly elongated boxers.

“Shape!” I snapped, staring at her.

“Chinecherem!” she called back, her eyes still fixed on my erected d--k.

“Must you come now?” I asked with frustration all over my voice, disregarding her attention towards the lower part of my body, after all she was a virgin, what does she know about it all.

“How do you mean?” she asked with a wicked grin on her face.

“I have a guest baby, could you wait a little while before coming back?” I pleaded.

“It depends,” she replied.

“On what?”

“Whether your visitor is male or female.”

“Male ko? Male and my something is rising like this, do I look “Gayish” to you?”

“So it’s a female then?” she asked trying not to break into a laughter.

“Yes naa, and I need to sort out something with her before everything goes cold.”

I was really trying hard not to yell.

“I’m not coming back anything, I am going in there with you now.”

“Shape please, you know we love each other.”

She nodded and smiled.

“That’s why I am trying to protect you dear.”

“Protect me? You are frustrating me joor.” I said getting really annoyed that I was losing my attention.

We dragged on, back and forth and in the end, shape found her way into my room, spoiling my fun. By the time we both got back in, Cynthia was already dressed and that added to all my anger.

” Oya go and bath dear, you don’t want to be late for Naza’s birthday, trust me,” she said with a tone of feminine domination. I eyed her and hissed.

Soon she was already conversing with Cynthia while I grudgingly made my way to the bathroom, I was visibly annoyed at everything, the shower, the water, the soap, the sponge, even my own d--k was annoyed at me.

“Shape had it been you weren’t a virgin, I would have f----d the both of you right there.” I murmured angrily.

I soon finished and got out of the bathroom, Shape and Cynthia were busy with the TV and chatting away when I got out. I eyed her again and turned my face towards Cynthia.

“Cynthia, you can do anything with her,” I pointed at Shape and continued “but don’t be friends please.”

Shape laughed and Cynthia smiled.

“Why?” she asked

“Because it will be an infringement on some of my interests, just don’t be friends with her abeg.”

The two of then burst into laughter. It puzzled me how Cynthia wasn’t even angry at Shape for disrupting our little fun, well shaa, girls and their ways.

I managed to change, away from their prying eyes and trust me, it wasn’t easy at all. Shape never for once took her eyes off and Cynthia took occasional glances.

2pm and were already on our way out, I, Shape and Cynthia. We got to where we had to pick a bus, Cynthia bade us farewell and dropped a simmering hot hug on me, one that let my body x-ray hers. As she walked away from us, all protruding parts of her body shook and my d--k nodded in unison.

“That was what you made me miss.” I said and pinched Shape at her back. She winced and slapped my arm off.

“Don’t worry, Chinaza will compensate you for that.”

“I’m always telling you, they are not the same.”

“Which is better, she or Naza?”

“Don’t ask me,” I replied.

She laughed and rubbed my hand in a way that I couldn’t help but smile.

You needed to see how Chinaza threw herself at me when we got to her lodge. If I hadn’t eaten, I would have landed on the ground. She was all over me, showing me off to her lodge mates in a way that got me wondering if she thought I was some celebrity.

The sweet aroma of fried rice ushered us into her room. Funny enough, that was my first time of ever visiting her. The room was up to her standard as a girl. The room was very feminine in a an appealing way and I loved it.

The pot of rice soon got down from the fire, we sang a happy birthday song, I presented my borrowed gifts which she loved so much and never hid that fact, she returned the favor with loads of kisses and sweet names calling. I flashed the “Borrowed Bottle of Red Wine” in her face and dropped it by the bed. Apparently she hated red wines and wasn’t going to drink it. I brought it for that purpose though, because I was going to return it to the owner, I don’t have 5k to lavish on colored alcoholic water when Heineken and Smirn Off is always available.

Well, the music came on and she twerked to her birthday, she had the floor alone for sometime before Shape joined her and then her other sexy lodge mates. She twerked on me and I praised God that I didn’t miss this birthday for anything. Her happiness made me happy and the coming night looked so promising, if you know what I mean. The power of alcohol could never be over estimated, Not even the devil could keep me away from shape’s backside, I tapped all the blessings and kept it for myself alone. Her female lodge mates weren’t spared too, it was a rocking spree and I immersed myself fully in in it. The other guys couldn’t keep away from shape, I didn’t like it and wished I had brought James along, he would have handled shape and kept her away from those scavengers. We danced and danced, got more drunk and danced more. Had it been possible, I don’t who would have done it but I was sure one person between Chinaza and I, would have swallowed the other. Only then did I realize how much I had missed my baby. Maybe the booze in my system opened my eyes to that fact. She was so beautiful as she sweated from the rigorous twisting and shaking of her body and assets.

And when the time came, remember that borrowed bottle of wine? The one of “FIVE THOUSAND NAIRA”, the one I was planning to return? Yes, that particular one,

Chinaza “Popped” it!