Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 72
So I eagerly waited for the
mystery girl to return. I knew
getting her to have a prolonged
chat with me at that working
period will most likely not be
possible since she had to attend
to their customers and also will
not like her madam to see her as
unserious so I made up mind to
go for her phone number with
which I will now use to schedule
a meeting with her in the coming
days. Uche left for a friend’s
house after we had waited for a
while and it seemed she was
taking much time to return. Uche
had wanted us to leave together
but I declined telling him I must
wait to see to the end of this.
Also the way Iyke had spoken
about the girl helped increase my
anticipation in getting to meet
with her. Not long after Uche left
I saw a lady walked up the open
stairs to the floor where the
shops were. At first I was like
‘who da hell is this ugly
mammal?’ but on a second
observation I was shocked to see
that it was actually the lady I had
admired her physiological
contours not too long ago. Truth
be told I instantly erased every
thought of talking to her but,
unfortunately, Iyke came out of
his shop and tapped me on the
shoulder saying “Nwoke, oya
time don reach. No fall my hand
o.”
Chei, how am I going to tell Iyke
that I won’t be carrying on with
the plans any longer? So in order
not to be made a laughing stock
by the time Iyke will be telling the
story at our lodge I decided to
just make my approach, get her
number and finally invite her to
my place even if nothing
happened. At least, these steps
will surely help save me from
becoming a communal jest in the
committee of guys in my lodge.
.
“Hello nne, excuse me for a
minute,” I said while walking up
to her before she could make her
way into their shop.
“Yesss,” she said while giving me
this ‘na wetin?’ look. ‘Nawao, ugly
girls dey form too?’ was exactly
the thought going through my
mind as I proceeded with my
plan. Standing before me was a
very dark and ugly girl – a bad
combination. Her parents made
matters worse by sculpturing a
deep gully that travelled the
length of her cheeks. To think
that was all, my eyes in an
attempt to appraise her
mammalian glands travelled a bit
further and then caught a sight
that nearly blinded them. She had
the dampest armpit I have ever
seen. The armpits could literally
accommodate the growth of
planktons and mosses . One
could vividly see the outline of
the extent of her armpit’s
drainage basin. At that instant I
immediately understood the
unspoken emotions behind
Iyke’s earlier voice tone. It was
also a lesson that gave me a
better insight into the saying ‘all
that glitters is not gold’. Anyways,
I pardoned the sight with an
excuse that it must have been
caused by the hot weather
condition common with the
months of January through
March.
“Sorry oo, I know say e no good
to disturb you now wey you still
dey busy. In order not to prolong
the matter before your madam
begin vex for you, e go better say
you give me your number so that
we go relate later on phone,” I
said to her with all seriousness
and then handed over my phone
to her.
.
I needed her to get the message
that I am an understanding guy
who acknowledges the state of
things at a particular time . It’s
now left for her to either decline
or oblige my request. It was a
decision she is expected to make
in a matter of seconds and
judging from the little time she
had ‘known’ me I believed she
will most likely oblige my request.
Anyways, she quickly keyed in
her digits into the phone before
handing it back to me. I was
tempted to say “thanks, it was
nice doing business with you,”
but on the contrary I simply went
for “thanks, I will give you a call
in the evening.” She walked into
their shop while I waved a
goodbye to Iyke.
In the evening, we all gathered
and discussed the normal guy
talks. Iyke had brought up the
issue of my successful attempt to
get the number of his
neighbour’s ugly apprentice. He
had explained how I had fallen
head over heels for the said lady
on seeing her back view. The
taunt raised little support in the
form of jest since I actually
succeeded in getting her number
which I used as my defense. I
even helped him to tell some
parts of the story on how I was
disappointed when I saw her
true self. The gathering had
wanted me to call the girl at that
moment so that they can also get
to hear her voice.
.
“Spain, call the girl make we
know whether her voice go be
like her face,” one of the guys
said and we all burst into
uncontrolled laughter.
“Guy, make una forget that thing
o… Na ugly girls dey get fine
voice pass,” Uche chipped in and
the laughter continued.
.
Even though I was enjoying the
whole drama but I still knew not
to break the ‘Call Rule’. While
growing up I had read in an
editorial in the popular Hints
magazine where the columnist
advised guys to always give, at
minimum, 48 hours before
calling any stranger-lady they
collected their number at first
meeting. The columnist argued
that it was a better seduction
technique to stretch the
imagination of the lady during
the first call than to call her a few
hours after you got her number
which the columnist said
conveyed desperation. According
to the columnist, an ‘mmmnn, yea
I recall… the guy I met at the
supermarket on Monday,’ is
better than ‘Ok, I recall giving you
my number in the afternoon… so
?’
I always applied the knowledge I
got from that editorial whenever
I found myself in such situation. I
hardly called a girl the day I got
her number from her especially if
it was our first meeting. I’ve
always later regretted on the few
occasions I had broken that rule.
Give me your number today and
expect my call from the next 48
hours to 120 hours. I will also
make sure I avoided exposing
myself to places and events
where the lady could easily see
me during that ‘suspense’ period.
It will be better for her to assume
you have been busy all those
while and thus could not call
than to always see you almost
everywhere and still yet to see
your call. The latter is rather
destructive as it conveys
unseriousness.
.
It was in the evening of the third
day that I finally gave her a call.
She picked the call and as
expected demanded to know
who was calling her. She was
able to recognize me after I had
dragged her a bit into the
memory lane.
“You know say I still never know
your name,” she had reminded
me.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry. My name is
Spain and you?” I answered.
“Am Blessing…” she replied.
“Wow, what a beautiful name
for… ” I had wanted to complete
the sentence with ‘…a beautiful
lady ’ but I knew that would
undoubtedly pass as sarcasm
since I am very sure even in her
mind she knows the
irredeemable level of her
ugliness. On the other hand,
completing the sentence with ‘…
an ugly primate’ albeit being the
gospel truth will also be an
outright insult. So I just left the
sentence incomplete. She can fill
in whatever adjective that will
rock her boat. I told her I would
love to see her again and in a
better location. I suggested the
place of meeting to be my house
and she agreed. We scheduled to
meet the next day after she
closed from work. If I knew I
would have just limited our
acquaintance on the phone and
in the public. Never foresaw
bringing her closer home would
get me face to face with an
image that has refused all
memory formatting techniques
aimed at erasing it from my
brain.
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