Donigspain - S01 E72

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 72

So I eagerly waited for the

mystery girl to return. I knew

getting her to have a prolonged

chat with me at that working

period will most likely not be

possible since she had to attend

to their customers and also will

not like her madam to see her as

unserious so I made up mind to

go for her phone number with

which I will now use to schedule

a meeting with her in the coming

days. Uche left for a friend’s

house after we had waited for a

while and it seemed she was

taking much time to return. Uche

had wanted us to leave together

but I declined telling him I must

wait to see to the end of this.

Also the way Iyke had spoken

about the girl helped increase my

anticipation in getting to meet

with her. Not long after Uche left

I saw a lady walked up the open

stairs to the floor where the

shops were. At first I was like

‘who da hell is this ugly

mammal?’ but on a second

observation I was shocked to see

that it was actually the lady I had

admired her physiological

contours not too long ago. Truth

be told I instantly erased every

thought of talking to her but,

unfortunately, Iyke came out of

his shop and tapped me on the

shoulder saying “Nwoke, oya

time don reach. No fall my hand

o.”

Chei, how am I going to tell Iyke

that I won’t be carrying on with

the plans any longer? So in order

not to be made a laughing stock

by the time Iyke will be telling the

story at our lodge I decided to

just make my approach, get her

number and finally invite her to

my place even if nothing

happened. At least, these steps

will surely help save me from

becoming a communal jest in the

committee of guys in my lodge.

.

“Hello nne, excuse me for a

minute,” I said while walking up

to her before she could make her

way into their shop.

“Yesss,” she said while giving me

this ‘na wetin?’ look. ‘Nawao, ugly

girls dey form too?’ was exactly

the thought going through my

mind as I proceeded with my

plan. Standing before me was a

very dark and ugly girl – a bad

combination. Her parents made

matters worse by sculpturing a

deep gully that travelled the

length of her cheeks. To think

that was all, my eyes in an

attempt to appraise her

mammalian glands travelled a bit

further and then caught a sight

that nearly blinded them. She had

the dampest armpit I have ever

seen. The armpits could literally

accommodate the growth of

planktons and mosses . One

could vividly see the outline of

the extent of her armpit’s

drainage basin. At that instant I

immediately understood the

unspoken emotions behind

Iyke’s earlier voice tone. It was

also a lesson that gave me a

better insight into the saying ‘all

that glitters is not gold’. Anyways,

I pardoned the sight with an

excuse that it must have been

caused by the hot weather

condition common with the

months of January through

March.

“Sorry oo, I know say e no good

to disturb you now wey you still

dey busy. In order not to prolong

the matter before your madam

begin vex for you, e go better say

you give me your number so that

we go relate later on phone,” I

said to her with all seriousness

and then handed over my phone

to her.

.

I needed her to get the message

that I am an understanding guy

who acknowledges the state of

things at a particular time . It’s

now left for her to either decline

or oblige my request. It was a

decision she is expected to make

in a matter of seconds and

judging from the little time she

had ‘known’ me I believed she

will most likely oblige my request.

Anyways, she quickly keyed in

her digits into the phone before

handing it back to me. I was

tempted to say “thanks, it was

nice doing business with you,”

but on the contrary I simply went

for “thanks, I will give you a call

in the evening.” She walked into

their shop while I waved a

goodbye to Iyke.

In the evening, we all gathered

and discussed the normal guy

talks. Iyke had brought up the

issue of my successful attempt to

get the number of his

neighbour’s ugly apprentice. He

had explained how I had fallen

head over heels for the said lady

on seeing her back view. The

taunt raised little support in the

form of jest since I actually

succeeded in getting her number

which I used as my defense. I

even helped him to tell some

parts of the story on how I was

disappointed when I saw her

true self. The gathering had

wanted me to call the girl at that

moment so that they can also get

to hear her voice.

.

“Spain, call the girl make we

know whether her voice go be

like her face,” one of the guys

said and we all burst into

uncontrolled laughter.

“Guy, make una forget that thing

o… Na ugly girls dey get fine

voice pass,” Uche chipped in and

the laughter continued.

.

Even though I was enjoying the

whole drama but I still knew not

to break the ‘Call Rule’. While

growing up I had read in an

editorial in the popular Hints

magazine where the columnist

advised guys to always give, at

minimum, 48 hours before

calling any stranger-lady they

collected their number at first

meeting. The columnist argued

that it was a better seduction

technique to stretch the

imagination of the lady during

the first call than to call her a few

hours after you got her number

which the columnist said

conveyed desperation. According

to the columnist, an ‘mmmnn, yea

I recall… the guy I met at the

supermarket on Monday,’ is

better than ‘Ok, I recall giving you

my number in the afternoon… so

?’

I always applied the knowledge I

got from that editorial whenever

I found myself in such situation. I

hardly called a girl the day I got

her number from her especially if

it was our first meeting. I’ve

always later regretted on the few

occasions I had broken that rule.

Give me your number today and

expect my call from the next 48

hours to 120 hours. I will also

make sure I avoided exposing

myself to places and events

where the lady could easily see

me during that ‘suspense’ period.

It will be better for her to assume

you have been busy all those

while and thus could not call

than to always see you almost

everywhere and still yet to see

your call. The latter is rather

destructive as it conveys

unseriousness.

.

It was in the evening of the third

day that I finally gave her a call.

She picked the call and as

expected demanded to know

who was calling her. She was

able to recognize me after I had

dragged her a bit into the

memory lane.

“You know say I still never know

your name,” she had reminded

me.

“Oh dear, I’m sorry. My name is

Spain and you?” I answered.

“Am Blessing…” she replied.

“Wow, what a beautiful name

for… ” I had wanted to complete

the sentence with ‘…a beautiful

lady ’ but I knew that would

undoubtedly pass as sarcasm

since I am very sure even in her

mind she knows the

irredeemable level of her

ugliness. On the other hand,

completing the sentence with ‘…

an ugly primate’ albeit being the

gospel truth will also be an

outright insult. So I just left the

sentence incomplete. She can fill

in whatever adjective that will

rock her boat. I told her I would

love to see her again and in a

better location. I suggested the

place of meeting to be my house

and she agreed. We scheduled to

meet the next day after she

closed from work. If I knew I

would have just limited our

acquaintance on the phone and

in the public. Never foresaw

bringing her closer home would

get me face to face with an

image that has refused all

memory formatting techniques

aimed at erasing it from my

brain.