Donigspain - S01 E54

Story 2 years ago

Donigspain - S01 E54

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 54

The weekend was all about

preparations for the incoming

examination which was

scheduled to takeoff the next

week. As is custom with Nigerian

students, some prepared by

‘jacking’ as much as they could, a

few by revision, and many took

to improvisations (aka expo,

reminder, bullet or ‘ngbo kirikiri’)

.

Out of all in the last group of

people as mentioned above, one

character really caught my

attention. His name is Uba. In all

my years of seeing people and

expos I have never seen anyone

who is as effective as this guy. He

can reduce a 500 page textbook

into a 3” by 3” piece of paper

using the most micro font of

human graphology (ok, a little

exaggeration there). He had

started living with Iyke a few

weeks ago when I travelled to

see my dad. I later learnt he is

Iyke’s cousin and also in same

department with me but a class

ahead (Joe’s classmate). Uba

would dedicate over 8 hours out

of 24 into this ungodly

preparation. We would all joke

and laugh whenever we saw him

in action. I guess his philosophy

clings on ”the end always

justifies the means”.

.

By this time, Uche and I had

already turned prayer warriors;

bulldozing and destroying every

spirit of failure in whichever

form they would manifest. We

would wake up very early in the

morning, sing praises and

worship to God, then take a little

snack (biscuit or left-over food)

which will help our mortal body

in the spiritual war ahead, before

we finally enter the battlefield

proper. I had always led the

prayer points and each time I did

the prayers never lasted more

than thirty minutes. I like

moderately simplified prayers

where you only have to pray

against forces specifically

working against you or your

family in relation to the level of

my faith but Uche later turned

the prayers into something else.

He would not only war against

the little minions of academic

failure or family setback, he

would proceed to drag their

village gods into the matter.

Sometimes, he would go

international in his prayers;

binding and casting the Indian

demons, Ethiopian spirits,

Babylonian witches, Oceanic

kingdoms and others that

probably don’t know if he is

existing. This new prayer pattern

stemmed from the problem he

was facing at that time. He and a

few other students were having

problems with their admission

verification process and so it

explained his forced repentance

and intercontinental spiritual

warfare.

.

”Guy, which kain prayer be dat

one na? Why you go dey fight

demons wey dey on their own

na?” I had asked him on monday

morning after I had had enough

of his new style of prayer.

”Guy, you no go understand.

These people don suffer me. I

don taya to wait for my

verification to come out,” he

replied still boiling from the

heated prayer he just had.

”How dat take concern Indian

demons and oceanic kingdoms

na?” I inquired further still not

cleared on why he should drag

demons that were here from

time immemorial into his prayers.

”Nwanne, the kingdom of God

suffereth violence and only the

violent ones taketh it by force,”

he answered while quoting King

James Bible terms.

”Even at that ma guy. E no mean

say you go begin call all Nigerian

juju na. Let me tell you, there are

prayer principles. There are laws

governing the spiritual realm

wey you never sabi. Leave those

demons for pope and bishop

dem to fight. Hmmm, I don tell

you finish before they visit you

one day. Besides, make I tell you,

na ojoro repentance you dey

form so. No be true repentance

at all. Dem no dey worship God

because you dey expect am to do

something for you. Relax, your

verification go come out as long

as you no forge your WAEC sha,”

I poured out before I walked out

to go draw water from the well.

.

My mum called me later in the

morning to wish me good luck

on my exams. Uche and I left for

school around 10:30am since

our paper was scheduled for

12pm. We met most of our class

members already in school

before us. It was all pleasantries

and ‘how far with preparation’

talks. The academic terrorist

were still busy terrorising with

their continuous ‘jacking’ even

whilst in class. Not too long Zubi

bounced in, grinning like a

donkey, with some of our guys.

”Guy, how far na? I hope say you

don full this your big head with

book because na me and you go

siddon today,” he said to me

while touching my big head (yea,

the head is dâmn big).

”common gerrout! Na me send

you come ESUT? The time wey I

dey fill my JAMB I know say I go

meet person like you?” I retorted

jokingly. Just that time Kennedy

(aka ‘kenny u’ or nwa aba)

swaggered in while murmuring

incoherent words which only

him can understand and then

everyone laughed.

Everyone busied himself or

herself until 12pm when the

invigilator walked in with the

exam scripts and answer sheets.

”Hey, everyone should sit down

now or I’ll walk you out,” he

thundered from in front of the

class.

”Who be dis one na wey dey

form strictness for boys na?” I

whispered to Zubi.

”Na faculty exam coordinator be

dat o. Guy we better compose. I

hear say dem dey fear the man

for this school,” Zubi replied in a

controlled voice.

The exam started normally with

nobody ever imagining the

events that would later unfold.