Oh Brother - S01 E34

2 years ago

Oh Brother - S01 E34

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 34

I smiled as Christian placed his lips on my forehead, kissing it lightly. He smiled as I grabbed his arms tightly, and looked at me. With his large smile, I couldn’t help but grin as I suddenly hugged him. This was what we were meant to be. Not siblings. Not friends. But so much more.

Then locking his eyes on mine, he moved his face closer to mine. I sighed quietly as I parted my lips and closed off our distance, kissing him. Kissing him the way I wanted to for so long. With our lips moving in sync, everything felt right. Everything felt the way it was supposed to be.

That was when I woke up. With my body alert, I sat up quickly and gasped. Placing a hand over my heart, I realized I hadn’t been with Christian. Not like that – ever. It was just a stupid dream, an illusion of what I wanted. Suddenly, I felt upset.

In my dream it had felt so right. Being with him made perfect sense. In fact, it would have been the only thing to have made sense in my corrupted life. But it had been a dream and incest existed in reality. With that, there was no way my dream could become reality.

I didn’t know why my dream got to me, but I was now clutching my hair in frustration. One part of me wanted to scream, another wanted to let go of him, and another wanted to cry. For once I felt like I was leaning towards the crying side, which was frustrating. I couldn’t bare to cry over a guy. No matter how incredible he was, I just couldn’t.

I got up at that, knowing I’d be a fool to go back to sleep after a dream like that. There was no way I’d go back to that world I wanted because I needed to forget about Christian. I needed to move on, because we could only be step-siblings. My heart needed to learn that.

Pacing around my room, I wondered what was stopping me from moving on. I had learned about incest, told myself to forget him, and even rejected him. There was something stopping me from getting my closure, and suddenly an idea popped into my mind. The one thing I hadn’t done was tell someone about my feelings. I had been holding it in all this time, which made me realize I needed to visit my best friend.

*****

The door to Dee’s house soon flew open and Dee smiled. But as her eyes landed on my own, her smile fell. Suddenly, she looked concerned.

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

For some reason, I began to cry at those words. Something inside me snapped, and I was suddenly like a waterfall as I began to sob in front of Dee. Her eyes widened, but she hugged me.

“Hey,” she said gently. “Let’s go inside and talk.”

I nodded and she gently pushed me inside. Still keeping an arm around me, she then brought me upstairs and into her room. Tears were streaming down my face the entire way, but I found myself oddly relieved. I guess because I had been holding everything in for so long.

Once in her room, she sat me down on her pink bed. I wiped my tears away as she sat next to me, knowing I needed to confess to her. I needed to tell her that I liked Christian when I shouldn’t. My stomach twisted, knowing this would be a painful conversation.

“Autumn,” Dee said as I finally looked at her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I like Christian,” I said, letting myself become an open book. “That’s what’s wrong.”

“You finally admitted it.” Dee’s eyes softened.

I frowned. “How did you know I like him?”

“It’s obvious from the way you guys look at each other.” Dee shook her head and smiled. “Why do you think I backed off from him? When you two danced together you guys looked really happy. There was no way I’d come between that.”

I frowned at that. Back then, I had no idea I had feelings for Christian. But then again, I felt like I had always liked Christian. And that was why I pushed him away in the past. It wasn’t that I ever hated him, but I was scared of my feelings for him.

Seeing that I wouldn’t say anything, Dee said, “So, what’s the problem with liking Christian? You guys are perfect for each other.”

“Incest,” I muttered. “My feelings for him are a taboo. It’s disgusting and everyone would hate us if we got together.”

Dee frowned. “You guys aren’t related by blood. There’s no incest.”

“But everyone views us as siblings!” I exclaimed, feeling frustrated with myself. “My feelings are so wrong.”

My eyes began to tear up again as I looked away from Dee. I didn’t want people finding us disgusting. I didn’t want anyone thinking that of Christian. Even if I could ignore how disgusting it was to like him, everyone else would not ignore it. We would become outcasts.

“Autumn,” Dee said gently. “No one even knows you guys are step-siblings. Even the people who do wouldn’t judge.”

“What about our parents?” I grumbled.

“Your parents would understand.” Her eyes softened. “You guys are their children.”

I laughed bitterly. “My mom would think I’m some demon who made Christian fall for his own sister. I would get disowned.”

Dee’s eyes widened. “Who gave you all these crazy ideas?”

“Nate.”

“Ugh, him.” Dee rolled her eyes. “He’s just mad because you rejected him.”

“That doesn’t mean his words aren’t true…”

“Autumn!” Dee suddenly exclaimed. “Christian makes you happy. He probably likes you back and you’re letting yourself despair over a stupid word. Isn’t being happy the most important thing in life? Ignore everything else and be that.”

“I can’t, Dee,” I groaned. “Incest. That’s so wrong.”

“It is, but your situation is not incest. Tell me one situation where you seriously felt like what you were doing was incest.”

My mind flew to the party and I found my face heating up. My mind had been screaming incest, but my heart really wanted to kiss Christian back. I had wanted to know his lips so freaking badly. If it weren’t for Nate, I probably would’ve kissed him. Just like at the lockers, I would have just felt like I was kissing the boy I really liked.

“Have you guys kissed?” Dee suddenly asked.

My face turned even more red as I sighed. “Kind of. He kissed me and I didn’t kiss him back. I couldn’t with the though of incest.”

“You probably broke his heart.” Dee’s eyes widened with horror. “Do you guys talk anymore?”

“Yeah, he was drunk so he doesn’t remember anything.” I smiled sadly. “He was wasted, so I know that’s why he even kissed me.”

Dee raised an eyebrow and I looked away. The one thing that left me also conflicted was how Christian may feel about me. He kissed me, but he was drunk. But then again, he had put his lips on me before when he was sober. A part of me wondered if he did like me back, but I also knew things would be so much more complicated if he did.

“Autumn,” Dee said softly. “I don’t know how I can help you. You seem intent on this incest thing.”

I frowned at her, wondering why she was the one giving up. It was I with the huge problem. I, who needed her counselling. Her giving up destroyed my last ounce of hope.

“But do one thing for me,” she continued on. “The next time you guys share a moment, be selfish. Don’t think about anything except him, and follow your heart. If it really feels wrong to you then you’ll know he’s not the one. You’ll know you have to move on. Okay?”

I nodded, even though what she said was something I couldn’t do. With my brain filled with thoughts of incest, I didn’t know if I could follow my heart. The kiss had been something my heart wanted, but I had listened to my brain. Deep down I knew I wouldn’t get my closure because of that.

Wanting to change the subject, I said, “I’m always selfish.”

I forced a smile, but Dee frowned. “No you aren’t. You try to be, but you care too much about everything.”

And with those words, I began to cry again. It was like Niagara Falls, which reminded me of what Christian said. I was strong. Even if there were many obstacles, I knew I could get through this. I knew I would make it. As tears steamed down my face and Dee hugged me, I smiled as I realized Christian had given me hope of getting over him. How ironic