Oh Brother - S01 E30

2 years ago

Oh Brother - S01 E30

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 30

Surprisingly, I didn’t regret admitting to myself that I liked Christian. Sometimes I’d feel disgusted at the thought and slightly annoyed, but I didn’t regret it. The only thing I did regret was keeping it a secret, because it was harder to be around him nowadays. With my urges to touch him and be with him as more that what we were, I found myself annoyed with myself for keeping my feelings at bay.

Sighing as I grabbed my textbook from my locker, I wondered about what to do. A week had passed since I admitted my feelings, but nothing had really changed. To my disappointment, we actually seemed to go back to the way we used to be. The way we were when we never touched, never really teased each other. I was glad to be around Christian constantly, but I hated how we were just friends. I hated how we stopped sharing moments. Knowing I liked him, it was the worst outcome ever.

I sighed again and shut my locker, not knowing what to do. There was one part of me that was angry at myself for falling for Christian. Mad because falling for Christian was too complicated. Even though we weren’t related by blood, I wasn’t sure how everyone else would react to my feelings. Wasn’t even sure how he’d react, because he had always treated me like a sister. It also didn’t help that I fell for the guy I once hated. The guy my pride had took a hit from a couple of times.

The logical answer was to ask my friends for help. Dee and Cheryl would be ecstatic over the news of me liking Christian, but I couldn’t help but hate the idea of approaching them. We all still hung out, but things were still really awkward between us. I hadn’t apologized to Cheryl, and she didn’t either. The tension at our lunch table was thick due to that.

D--n . That was all I could think as I realized I was kind of screwed when it came to my feelings for Christian. Anything related to him was always complicated, yet I fell for him. Fell for him when my life was already pretty messed up. But even with that, I still didn’t regret falling for him. For some crazy reason, I just didn’t.

And that was when it hit me. Christian was someone I really seemed to like. We bettered each other, and he was perfect despite his humanly flaws. There was no point in hiding my feelings from him. No point because as long as we were happy, there was no need to worry about anything else that could occur. And even if he didn’t return my feelings, I would be glad to know I tried at the very least. There was no way he’d let my feelings ruin what we had anyways.

With a smile now on my face, I decided to run to where Christian’s locker was. I didn’t even care about the hall monitors lurking around in the hallways, all I could think about was letting out my feelings.

Finally I could tell him the truth. I liked him. I wanted to be at his side. I wanted to touch him whenever I could. When I would tell him these things, I knew I would finally let go of all of the wounds I still held onto in my heart. I just knew.

As I went to the hallway near his, smiling wide, I suddenly heard someone call my name. Freezing in my spot, I frowned as I wondered who it was. Turning around, I soon saw Nate walking towards me. My eyes widened.

“Autumn,” he said, smiling sweetly as he stopped in front of me. “Where are you running to, Christian?”

Something about his fake smile or angry eyes made me put up my defenses. It had been a while since I saw him, and suddenly I had the urge to back away. Before I could do that though, I needed to know what he wanted.

“Yes,” I simply replied, crossing my arms over my chest. “Do you have a problem?”

“Yes, I do.” His eyes hardened. “Incest.”

My eyes widened as he suddenly looked disgusted. Feeling suddenly nervous, I decided to try to end our conversation quickly.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

“Don’t play stupid with me.” He rolled his eyes. “You know, I wondered why you wouldn’t go on another date with me. I’m too good for you, not the other way around. It was a huge hit to my pride, but then I got my answer. You like your brother. You disgusting little thing.”

I froze at the venom in his voice. It didn’t even seem like he was trying to hurt me, even with his harsh words. I realized that he was just trying to throw his opinions at me to somehow inform me of something. Something, I didn’t quite understand.

“He’s my stepbrother,” I corrected. “And I don’t like him. But even if I did it wouldn’t matter. We aren’t technically related.”

Nate laughed cruelly. “You think blood matters? You think that anyone cares that you guys aren’t actually related?”

My throat constricted as I began to see the way he saw everything. Even as I tried to ignore what he was trying to get at, the idea kept fighting its way to my mind.

“Guess what, sweetheart,” Nate continued, his eyes looking angry. “Everyone sees you two as siblings. They see you as family, and family can never be together in the way you want. Unless you want to be a social outcast and unless you want your own parents hating you, you can’t like him. To everyone, it’s disgusting. I feel sick thinking about it.”

With those words, I felt like someone punched me. My eyes widened as I took in his words. His words, that were actually true because Christian and I would be outcasts. If we ever got together, people would find us disgusting. Even without actually being related, we would be seen as the incest couple. As selfish as I was, I could never let the world hate Christian. Especially his own dad.

“You’re lucky I don’t have feelings for you,” Nate said, seeing that I would speak from the horrifying truth. “I don’t want to be with someone who agrees with incest.”

With that, Nate turned around and left. Leaving me on the verge of screaming, he left me on my own. Once there was no sight of him, I finally let my eyes tear up.

Even though I knew Nate had said those things because he was butthurt over my rejection of him, it didn’t change the fact that he was right. People would be disgusted by us. Our parents would be too. I never thought that people would actually view us as siblings, and now knowing that I felt disgusted with myself. I wondered if Christian would be too, if he knew how I felt.

I began to take deep breaths, trying to calm myself down. I wanted to cry. To scream too, because I had been so happy about finding out that I liked Christian. Was just about to tell him how I felt, not knowing the consequences.

But now that was ruined, destroyed even. I never knew that I would end up finding myself disgusting. Never knew that what I felt was incest, a taboo. Closing my eyes, I realized I had to forget my feelings. I had to foget they were ever real.

Opening my eyes, I then walked away from the hallway and to my friends. There I pretended that I didn’t have the most horrible realization ever. The pain in my heart was hard to ignore though, but I fought it off as I pretended that everything was okay.