Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 5
We proceed to the Entertainment Hall, i was
happy eeh! Not happy because of the
wedding o, but because i gonna eat their
expensive food because i heard the guy lives
in America. As we were been lead by a set of
group playing drums for the couples and
there were busy showing up their dancing
steps, me and my Cousin were just looking
at them as foreigners, so when we finally
got there, me and my yeye Cousin sat down
at the back as usual drawing our map on
how to eat excess food, after the couples
got seated my Cousin told me his coming
that he want to go and urinate and I just
ignored him and was busy watching a
movie on my phone, he later came back like
5 minutes time, and started playing music
with his ear-phone, it did’t take up to 10
minutes something happened
MC: now we call upon a man who will
enlighten us here with fresh jokes, Ladies
and Gentle Men help me welcome Ambrose
Silver to come and collect the microphone
for his comedy series
i turned to my cousin
Cousin: Am sorry i just wanted to help you
make some cash
Me: But i did’t prepare for this.
Cousin: I know but $2000 is the pay.
Me: What! Abeg i don ready self.
I immediately almost ran to the front, and
collected the Mic from the MC
Me: Good Day Ladies before Gentle Men, if
any of this i will mention have happened to
you just know that your village people are
following you
.
Me: •after entering a bus, it gets to
your turn
to pay
your fare and you can’t find your
money. My
bro follow money lost o because
the kind
beating you go chop that day eh .
Lemme
faint in the swimming pool side
abeg. Abi
space no dey there again.
•If you downloading 5GB of data
and it
Fails at
99%. Your village peopl work be
that go beg
then o
•If you buy an iphone 6 for 150k
today
and the next day the price drops
to 70k.
Abeg take the earpiece . Oya
hank yourself
•You win 100millon, u put am 4
bank,
next
week d bank declare bankruptcy.
Bettdr turn
bank building to your house .
#emix
•your first day in a restaurant,
after
eating fish, the bone hang for
your throat.
Big eyes have kill you
•If after working for 30 days,
you got
fired
without salary. You no get gun
make we
scatter that place
•After selling your fathers
property to
go abroad, and you still got
deported few
weeks
later. Oya die
• if you take cheat into the exam
hall,
and cant
understand your own
handwriting. Oya kill
your self
• If after 6 abortions and d guy
still ends
up not
marrying you. #speechless
• if you submit expo with
your answer sheet. F9 is not your
posting o .
• when ur friend wey just come
back from
America give u cheque
& did
not remember to
sign Before going back. Oya
hang for plane
time never go . Pls is there space
at the boys
quarter. a
• If at age 38 , you still refer to
Davido as
your role model. Shift lemme
fainti jor #emix
• if after you use a heavy
perfume and
your
body odour is still stronger than
RAID.
My
bro enter river niger and bath 50
times
• If After You photoshop your
Picture &
you still Ugly Pass Taye Taiwo.
Just kill me
• If u get expelled 24hrs 2 ur.
graduation.
Oya come nearer lemme pray for
you any
wizard or witches using your live
to dry fish
oya burn with fire from hell .
• if ur leg dey show for passport.
Lemme be
going.
photograph.
• If You Break-Up With Your
Boyfriend/
girlfriend and he/she wins
100million naira.
Honey pls is the work of devil am
now a
change person . #isorite
the next day!.
• if the person that you were
cursing out in traffic turns out to
be the
one
interviewing you for a job. Just
take your cv
burn it and start doing
conductor.
• If U lied to Armed robbers that
u
don’t have a phone, then it rings,
& ur
ringtone
is ‘Ebami K’igbe Ole, Ole Ole Ole!
Oya kill me i
don tire .
• if you sell ur Kidney to buy a
Range rover
sport and they steal it d next day
you will be
like oya steal me join
.
Before i could finish everybody was busy
laughing and i smiled and gave back the mic
to the MC who was still laughing but in a
controllable way shaa, i went back to my sit
and my Cousin said well done sharp brain.
The reception ended after several hours and
i checked my phone and saw the alert about
the $2000, i transfered half of the money to
my cousin and we headed home but i urged
my cousin for us to go to his house, we
went to his house and headed straight to
his room, and i found out that there wasn’t
any Chair at the room and i said
Me: oga o, you refuse to put chair for your
room so that if Lady visit you she go sit
down for bed! Abi? clap for yourself,
chairman planning Committee
Cousin: that one concern you, abeg wetin i
go offer you
Me: Rice and Stew with beans and some
vegetable, add 2 Chicken laps, add 4 fried
eggs, bring along with Orange juice and
some cakes, before i could finish listing my
Cousin had brought out Drinking Garri with
no Sugar only salt.
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