Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 114
Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.
Johannah have placed the call on loudspeaker, I heard Profit’s voice.
Profit’s voice: who are you talking to baby?
Johannah’s voice: am testing the mouthpiece, mommy.
She ended the call and I stared at the screen stunned. Thank God this girl no be my pikin, I put my phone inside my trouser side pocket and looked around the place some hookers were looking at me.
I whistled and walked inside the hotel, I went to were Simeon and Ugochukwu were drinking.
Two bottles of beer opened on the table, so na two bottles of beer them carry me come here.
I sighted the table from were I stood on the space were the bar is positioned aside, I was about to climb the three inches height podium when someone climbed the podium before me and headed to the table.
James turned back and saw me.
James: Honourable talk and do, you dey here too?
Me: I dey with James and my paddy man.
James: hope say you don see babe or my arrange for you.
Me: no worry, I no come for babes.
We both went to the table, one guy was dancing anyhow shifting tables with his weight out of drunkenness on the table.
James: Don-Simeon, pass me my bling bling, sharp sharp. I don sight the babe.
Don-Simeon: that one no be issue.
He removed one of the necklace on his neck and gave to James.
Ugochukwu: where you go na?
Me: na Profit pikin call me, na only two bottles ona order since?
Ugochukwu: you don see am, your gee no get money to order fifty bottles.
Me: the kind hungry wey dey catch me here ehnn.. Simeon, where person fit eat for this hotel?
Don-Simeon: na room service oh, if you no lodge them no go give you food oh!
I turned and left the pool side, Ugochukwu ran after me.
Ugochukwu: I no know say hungry dey catch me too.
Me: how you go know? you be married man na, go meet your wife make she cook for you.
Ugochukwu: jealousy jealousy, nothing fit stop our love.
I went inside the hotel and met the receptionist, the lady was just giving me one kind look like ona two be gay.
Receptionist: you are welcome, sir.
Me: ona dey lodge for half-day?
Receptionist: yes, who and you wan lodge?
Ugochukwu: see question, na two of us or you wan join us?
Me: ask am oh!
Receptionist: alright, sir. No be first time I dey see ona kind.
I no understand wetin she mean, we booked the room and went up to the room, we both entered and went for the telephone.
Me: respect yourself, give me the telephone.
Ugochukwu: I nodey give you.
Me: hope say you come with your ATM card because I no go pay for you.
He touched his pockets and discovered that his ATM cards are not there, he hand over the the telephone and I placed the order of fufu and egusi soup for both of us.
I settled the table before me and adjusted my belt, and anticipated for the food.
Ugochukwu: see the way you prepare like person wey wan go war.
Me: wetin you expect when you don keep me hungry since afternoon?
A lady brought the food and served us, me I no wait make she disappear before I pounced on the food.
After I eat finish I drank the water and rested for some minutes, I ready myself to go sleep for my yard.
Ugochukwu: you wan commot?
Me: you wear eyeglass of blindness? I wan go my yard go sleep.
Both of us left the room and paid the receptionist, two of us walked to my yard. When I got there I saw Teacher sitting on the frontage whistling.
I went inside my room with Ugochukwu and prepare myself for sleep.
I come dey wonder why PHCN no wan bring light, I lay on the bed and slept off.
Around 12:15am Tony started his madness.
Tony’s voice: hello contractor…. Aahhh…. the two million contract…. you don’t have to worry I am engineer Tony…. oh my boys are on it…
Ugochukwu: who dey make call like that?
Me: you dey ask me?
Ugochukwu: person nofit sleep for this your yard in peace?
Tony was making call mentioning billions and millions disturbing everyone’s sleep.
I started hearing loud bangs on his window, Tony became silent immediately.
Ugichukwu: whisper to me wetin dey happen?
Me: I whisper back thieves.
Loud voice: open this window!! I will shoot you!!!