Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 109
Subtitle: Fu*ck Fakers.
Dede: no flooggg me again ooohh! ewooohh! I will confess!! I did it oohh! rolling and wailing on the floor
Harry-P: I think say you be just evil village man I no know say you be John Wick, wetin you did? confess before I go carry my own cane.
Dede: aaahhh! I killed them oohh! all of them I killed them oohhh!!
My Aunty: my husband, who be the them?
Joshua: mommy, you still dey call this crowned prince of evil your husband na wa oohh!
My uncle Dede lay helplessly on the steps below the door, he was sweating and breathing heavily dragging too much air with loud gasps.
Dede: I killed your husband and joined hands to kill his parents.
I was stunned and confused, I no know which feelings dey run for my system that time. My Aunty was quiet blinking her eyes several times , I clenched my fist and turned away refusing to look at my uncle so that I won’t record my first killing yet.
I walked away just to hear my Aunty gave a heart-wrenching shriek and leapt at the man.
I shook my head and went to my room, straight to the bathroom with my towel. I switched on the shower and stood below it allowing the water to run on my body, emotions started welling in me as I felt the urge to break someone face.
I started weeping all of a sudden, I tried holding back my tears but they flowed down from my eyes and I took long breathes to calm down. I took my bath and came out of the bathroom, the door was opened by panicking Joshua.
Joshua: brother, Uncle Dede don mad.
Joshua: I no know, em don mad.
I quickly rushed out with him as we came out of the sitting-room, the door was threw open.
I came out to the porch and find everyone standing there, my uncle has removed his trouser and shirt. He was only on singlet and boxer with a stick in his hand.
Dede: you wan try me laughing hahaha! you shall die, oya take it!! laughing
Me: wetin do am?
Ugochukwu: the sweetness of madness.
Teacher: I see wickedness all over that man, we would have burnt him alive if it were to be in the eighties and nineties, we are just increasing the numbers of mad people in the street. I don’t know what kind of morals his teacher taught him in school, instead of dying he picked madness. Pathetic!
Dede: I go kill you laughing hahaha!
He ran out of the compound screaming loud, I shook my head and asked everyone to prepare for the meeting that we had in the town hall that morning.
After we got prepared and came out of the house, I was so quiet. Even Ugochukwu understood the moment as we drove to the town hall.
I just appeared before them and asked the Village Chief to do the talking, I couldn’t stay in when he was talking I came out of the town hall passage and stood. Just then the Chief daughter came to me, the girl last night.
Chief daughter: good morning, sir.
Me: morning, wetin happen?
Chief daughter: I no see that your friend ona follow come yesterday, em don go back to City?
Just then Rufus appeared at the long verandah at the edge of the length of the hall, he started giving me signs not to disclose his identity to her. The guy don change em out-fit totally, new shirt, new shoe, new trouser, new haircut. I nodded twice.
Chief’s daughter: why na, how I wan take get the money now!? aunty you dey ask me?
Me: I no know.
She went away, I took fresh air and reset my brains. I went in and talked to the people before we left, some people were expecting small cash while others are happy.
We picked up our things and left, I also took my Aunty account details so that I will be sending them money.
The most painful thing was that she resumed her grief, Ugochukwu drove me back to the City without saying a word.
I came down and decided to take urban driver, he drove me to Profit’s house.
The security let me in, the house big oh! I walked and walked before I now appeared before the gigantic house.
I turned to see Johannah running towards me, her mother and her must have been having a good time under the shade.
Profit: don’t run.
For where? the pikin no hear she dey even dey fly come meet me. I carried her up and balanced her in my arm, she heavy sha.
Johannah: I miss you daddy she peck me
Me: I peck her back I miss you more sweetheart.
I pinch her nose and she giggled, her mother stood up and met with us.
Profit was more reserved as she just gave me a side-hug, but a huge smile was on her face.
Profit: hey, you back. Sweetheart, how is village?
Me: yes, village dey oh. Thanks love.
Johannah: daddy, do I have relatives apart from aunt Sarah and my mom’s brother?
Me: I nod a lot oh! you will get tired to play with them.
Johannah: so sweet daddy she put a finger on lips thinking daddy, you haven’t kiss mommy.
Make this lady go check her daughter age, too smart for her age. Carry small mouth dey talk big big talks with small head, I looked at Profit she was just smiling. Issokay.
Me: I no want make you see, close your eyes.
Johannah: okay, I will daddy.
She covered her eyes with her opened palms spreading on her face, I just bent a little and winked at Profit.
Johannah: should I open it daddy?
Me: yes, good girl.
Johannah: she open her eyes daddy, did you kiss mommy? I nod mommy do you like it? her mother nod
We went in together and Profit went inside the kitchen with her maids, I wonder if she sabi cook with all these wealth.
Any lady wey just rich reach this level don dey hawk feminism for head, I sat on the couch relaxed when Johannah carry her wahala come.
She came to me with her book and pen, local man just dey em own.
Profit: daddy, help me with my assignment.
Me: bring am, your daddy sabi something.
She gave me th book and I saw quantitative reasoning. She helped me flipped the page to the page she was asked to fill, I just dey look all the drawing them draw for the book.
It wasn’t money so it wasn’t making any sense to me, wetin local man wey attend government school wan sabi for all these jaga jaga ona dey draw here sef? I no understand anything at all. This pikin wan just fall my hands, you no see me.
Me: my eyeglass, I can’t see.