My Escapades In The North - S01 E20

Story 3 years ago

My Escapades In The North - S01 E20

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 20

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The first thing she said when I sat down was, ‘Dioxidane, what’s the meaning of this rubbish?!?’

Me: :o Huh! What are you talking about?

MA: I’ve been waiting for you for more than 30minutes…

Oh, na just that one :-\

Me: Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to keep you waiting…

I tried to caress her hand, but she flung my hand off. She began driving without even telling me where we were going to. I tried bringing up a conversation, but it was obvious she wasn’t interested in talking. After several minutes, she spoke up…

MA: Dioxidane, what’s going on between you and Summaya, tell me the truth…

Oh shiiit, she knows??? Come, where this woman dey carry me go???

I noticed she was driving through the GRA road which led to the outskirts of town…

Me: What’s that supposed to mean? :-\

MA: Dioxidane, I ask you again, what’s going on between you and Summaya?

Me: We are friends…

MA: You want me to make it plain? Ok, are you sleeping with Summaya?

Attack mode activated!

Me: Jeez!! That’s preposterous! What do you take me for! Can you imagine! Because I’m friends with your cousin, you feel I’m sleeping with her? You know what, stop this car! Stop it right now!

She was already on the outskirts of town now, on the road to Daura…

MA: Dioxidane, calm down… I only asked a question…

Me: Why would you be asking me such a ridiculous question?

MA: Smiling Hope she told you she would be traveling next week…

Me: Huh? She didn’t…

MA: Was she good?

Me: Good, as in?

MA: Stop playing games… I know, ok? I suspected it and when I asked her she confirmed it, we don’t hide anything from each other…

:o Chisos! This babe don put me for one chance!

Me: Frowning in silence

MA: Was she better than me?

Time for reverse psychology!

Me: Did you tell her of what happened between us?

MA: I didn’t…

Me: I thought you didn’t hide anything from each other… :-\

I don’t know if it was what I said or what she remembered, but she suddenly parked the car beside the road and asked me to get out. I thought it was a joke…

Me: :o But we are in the middle of nowhere, and you want me to get out now?

MA: You asked me to stop the car earlier, obviously you wanted out. You can get out now…

Her facial expression did not betray any emotions so I could not decipher if she was serious or joking. I just had to beg her.

Me: Please you can leave me here like this na… It’s dangerous…

MA: You should have thought about that when you were fvucking my cousin…

Me: This is not fair o…

MA: Oh, so it’s fair for you to sleep with my cousin behind my back right?

Which kyn tin come be dis one na :-\

Me: But I thought you didn’t want to have anything to do with me anymore…

MA: Screaming That gives you no right!

:o See gobe!

I saw she was bent on leaving me there, so there was no point begging her anymore. I got down from the car.

Some milliseconds later, she reversed the car and zoomed off. I looked around me and realized that I was almost in the middle of nowhere. The few vehicles plying the road were only the ones going to Daura.

I checked my pocket and realized that I was not with my wallet.

Where my wallet dey :o?

It was already past 6pm. I was without money, very far from town and without any means of transportation.

Na die I dey today!

‘My phone! Jeez, where is my phone?, I thought, as I began searching for my phone in my pockets. I finally found it in the back pocket of my jean trouser.

Great! No network!

Which kyn setup come be dis one now???

I decided to start walking back to town or till I got network – anyone that came first. But I sincerely hoped I got network first ‘cos I planned on calling a friend to come pick me up.

The time was already some minutes to 7pm. I had walked for about 15mins before I finally got network on my phone. I was obviously close to town now.

I called a friend (Jude). He didn’t pick. I called him severally. He still didn’t pick. ‘Where would he be by this time?’, I thought.

Great! Fadama :-\

Perhaps the noise didn’t make him hear his phone ring. I decided to call Prince…

Prince: Hello…

Me: Baba, how far where you dey?

Prince: I wan take bike go Fadama…

Me: Thank God! Abeg go quick, collect Jude car come pick me for Daura road…

Prince: :o Ukandu! Wetin you go find for there?!

Me: Long story… I go yarn you when you come…

Prince: Chisos! Dem say that place dey dangerous o…

Me: Abeg do come quick na…

Prince: Ok, I done hear…

It was already dark now. I stood under what looked like a make shift bus stop. Few cars passed by on their way to town. I tried flagging them down, but none stopped. I looked around me and saw not even a soul. I was tensed ‘cos I didn’t even know where I was.

How long will I keep on putting myself in dangerous situations because of women??? I have to stop this nonsense!!!

After about 20minutes, Prince came with the car…

Prince: Come, wetin you find come here?

Me: Oboy, if I tell you, you no go believe…

Prince: Trust me, coming from you, I’ll believe anything…

I explained all that transpired that day in details to him… From straffing Summaya at Malama Aisha’s place to Malama Aisha almost busting us (sorry, busting us), to continued straffing at my house, back to Malama Aisha’s place, to Malama Aisha calling me out, to the questions, to the revelations, to her dropping me in the middle of nowhere, to… Ok, I guess that’s all…

Prince: Jesus Christ of Abia! So you get mind straff her cousin when you don already straff her?

Me: Mtcheew… Na that one we dey talk naw…

Prince: Wetin you go come do now?

Me: For where?

Prince: About MA and SM naw?

Prince always uses codes for chics

Me: Bros, no be that one dey my mind now… Make we reach Fadama first…

Prince: Guy, take am easy o… Na your country you come serve here no be woman o…

Me: Yes father! :-\

Some minutes later, we got to Fadama…

The major thing about Fadama as a relaxation spot is the fact that it is a very popular bar. There are very few drinking bars in Katsina, so bars are usually very busy in the evenings. But in Fadama, you get to see all the ‘big-boys’ in town every evening.

I didn’t even know what they were celebrating but I noticed most persons were in a state of merriment. I was down. I was lost in thought.

‘What kind of life am I living???’ ‘How long would I continue like this???’ ‘Dem use pu*ssy swear give me???’ ‘Is this what I came here for???’

Prince began tapping my shoulder…

Prince: Come, you dey here abi na your ghost?

Me: Oga free me abeg…

Prince: Na beer abi na wine?

Me: Bros no money, make we down beer abeg…

Prince told the bar attendant what we were going to take…

Me: Bros, help me reason this matter na… Wetin I go do?

Prince: You need a break…

Me: :-\ Break as in?

Prince: You’ve watched 40days and 40nights, right?

Me: Ehen… :-\

Prince: Yeah, something like that… But let’s make your own 30days and 30nights…

Me: I no understand… :-\

Prince: No straffing for you for 30days and 30nights!

Me: You dey mad, shey…

Prince: I know wetin I dey talk… E be like say na your mamba dey control you, no be you dey control am… So if you fit do am, you go get control over your mamba and you go fit survive daring situations…

This guy is making sense o…

We began taking our drinks…

Me: Bros, this thing go hard o…

Prince: If you can stay without straffing for one month, I’ll give you my alawee for this month…

Me: :o Huh! Serious?

Prince: Yeah… But if you straff, you’d give me your alawee…

Me: You dey mad!

Prince: Wetin dey worry you? If you no straff for 30days, you go die? I dey help your life here…

Me: Ok, deal…

Prince: If you straff, even if na just 1 chook, you go give me your alawee o…

Me: I don hear na…

As we were still talking, Rejoice called me and told me she wanted to come and spend the night. I refused!

Oh Lord, do not lead me into temptation

No straffing mode activated!

So the previous day, I accepted Prince’s deal not to straff for 30days. ‘Extra alawee this month for me’, I thought, ‘after all I wasn’t expecting any money from tutorials this month.’

After work, I went to Malama Aisha’s place, but no one was around. I was told both of them traveled.

Again? Well, good riddance to bad rubbish!

Zainab was not in town, MA and SM traveled. Rejoice? I can handle her. I guess it was going to be easy for me not to straff after all.

It rained that evening. Everywhere was cold. My mamba was already back from vacation. It needed some action.