Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 59
Me: you dey for the winning team, my guy Ishi.
Ugochukwu: dey take yourself as celebrity, ’cause na the future of the state you dey see so.
Me: Ishi hail me.
Ishi: honourable talk and do!!
Ishi: honourable talk and do shouting
Me: I didn’t hear you.
Ishi: screaming honourable talk and do.
Four of us started laughing, I opened the booth and carried out the money bag, while I motioned the three of them to come over the booth side.
Immediately the bodyguard came over, he was surprised by the powerless charms in the booth.
Body-guard: Jesus! wetin be this?
Me: your eye nofit answer your brain?
Ugochukwu: so, why you carry that bag tell me say my come carry charms?
Me: you want my commot you as P.A.
Ugochukwu: biaa! Ishi and this our guy, make ona carry this thing go keep for the podium of the hall.
Me: help them na, show them how to arrange am.
Ugochukwu: when the head of the gods is here, is your head paining you.
Me: oya come na, make we go arrange this money.
Ugochukwu and I headed to the back room of the hall, were we arranged two hundred thousand naira in envelope till it is upto forty places. Someone knocked on the door and I got up and opened it.
Me: wetin happen?
Body-guard: sir, we dey hungry he is about to enter the room
Me: stop that! no move again, food dey come. wetin be time?
Body-guard: ehnn… Two women bring food come oh.
Me: make ona chop the rice wey only dey the cooler, make ona no near the buffet. michael don come back?
Body-guard: yes, sir that sir sound
Me: wetin be your name?
Me: make ona go eat, the people for the meeting don start to come?
Body-guard: yes, some people don come.
Me: like how many?
Jack: like twenty.
The thing shock me oh! them no even allow 4pm to knack, choii! the chopping of the last time still dey fresh for their memory like fresh palm-wine.
None of them go do African man time, Jack left and I entered the room back.
Me: twenty people don already come.
Ugochukwu: I no surprise. No be man dey propose and God dispose again oh, na money dey propose and God dispose.
Me: no be small thing, four minutes to 4pm. Come make we dey go.
We carried the bag of the money and entered the hall, I did a head count and saw that before it was 4pm everyone was there already.
Voices: honourable talk and do! the man of the people!! if no be you nobody dey win oh! hailing me
Me: na me be that. Make ona sit down, you all are welcome.
Ugochukwu: I say together!!
Voices: we stand!!
Voices: we fall!
Me: less talk!!
Voices: more actions!!
I looked around and sighted foodflax of different size besides their chairs, this people mean their mission oh!
Me: if you know say you go vote me tomorrow, hands up!!
All of them raised their hands before I even ended my statement.
Voices: no election!! you don win!! man for the people!! face of NPP!!! Honourable talk and do!!!
My head come big, my body nofit hold am again.
Me: inside this envelop wey dey on top this table na 200k for anybody wey go vote me tomorrow.
They all got up cheering and shouting, praising me. Someone of them raised their chairs and hailed me.
Me: no be only that one, all these food wey dey inside this buffet na ona own.
Voices: I go die if this man no win!! You must win ohh!! na you dey go!!!
Ugochukwu: you trust these guys.
Me: I dey craze.
I raised my hand and everywhere became quiet.
Me: ona go just take oath, anybody wey no go gree vote for me after taking all these things I wan give go die.
Voices: only with that thing! I fit swear with my mama grave!!! you for tell me na, I for bring my family so that we go swear together, you for bring amadioha chief priest so that we go swear.
This people think say I dey joke. Something wey pass amadioha chief priest dey available.
Me: if you wan vote for me, step forward.
All of them got up and ran to the front with their foodflaxs, those who forgot to take theirs ran back for it.
He stamped the staff he held in his hand and started singing one strange song like that, he dressed like a real chief priest and came out of the room he was making up.
Ishi: umh.. eklemor eklemor.. ndooor! ndooor! humm.. the gods of my fore-fathers.
Me: turn by turn.
They started shifting back, ona wan scam me bah?