Oga Landlord - S01 E12 (Story Episode)

1 year ago

Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 12

Subtitle: F--k Fakers.

A lady who sat behind me, cut in and gave her own reason for the person to give the torn one thousand naira, while the person who did it sat close to me less concern.

Lady: em fit be like say the person no get any other money, na em make em give you the tear tear one thousand naira, conductor just manage am.

Conductor: nwere sen-se!

Lady: no insult me, I senior you. Obukani sense!

Conductor: nwere sen-se!

Lady: obukani sense!

Driver: why ona dey curse each other? Conductor wetin happen?

Conductor: one person don give me tear tear one thousand naira, and I no know the person wey do am.

Driver: you mumu oh, why you no check money before you collect. You don go collect tear tear one thousand naira, nwere sen-se!

I didn’t hear anything in the bus apart from.

Nwere sen-se! and obukani sense!

In the bus, one slayqueen chewing gum cut in.

Slay queen: if you wan throwaway the money, conductor see me oh. Carry am give me
the conductor eye her like say she ask for one million

pointing his corner of head with a finger nwere sen-se!

Slayqueen: obukani sense!

Conductor: nwere sen-se!

Slayqueen: obukani sen-se!

We observed some minutes of silence until the conductor decided to rain curses on the person who gave him the torn one thousand.

Conductor: I know say, the person wey give me this one thousand naira na student, em go fail em exams.

Boy: ah ah! For just tear tear money, what if the person no be student again, like me I no be student again, i don finish waec.

Conductor: you be mumu, you be student because of say you wan still further your education, if you no be student wetin you be?

Boy: I be Jamb candidate na, if I be student. Then I be student of which school?

Conductor: nwere sen-se!

Boy: obukani sense!

It was a man and the driver who explained who a student is, and the boy was wrong. The bus got to it bus- stop and everyone dropped including me, the bus reversed and the conductor looked through the bus window.

Conductor: hey you boy, nwere sen-se!

Boy: obukani sense.

Mad people everywhere in this country, I took another bus and got to were Ugochukwu is. I checked in my goods and confirmed them to be in perfect shape, I decided to hang around in Aba and then return to Port-Harcourt the next day.

Ugochukwu decided to treat me to a meal in an expensive eatery in the area, the guy get money sha… On our way, we saw a girl who slapped a man.

Ugochukwu: no woman fit try that nonsense with me, as I fine like this with pink lips any girl wey I go talk to go fall for me.

Me: no talk wetin you dey talk oh, em get some class of girls wey no go mind slap sense enter you through your pink lips.

Ugochukwu: Vic leave that thing, them never born that girl. Nobody fit try that nonsense, I go kill her before she go even try am.

I didn’t answer him again, we got into the expensive eatery. And we occupied a chair, a waiter later came and took our order.

I saw a very beautiful lady looking very moody, she seem to be waiting for someone and she is getting irritated already. I observed her packaging and know that her levels is of senator’s sons and president children.

Me: see that lady, she dey eye, that girl like you
he turn and look at the lady

Ugochukwu: talk truth.

Me: na me go lie for you?
The waiter brought our order and we kept quiet, I saw the lady making movements to leave. I told Ugochukwu that I wanted to use the restroom, I followed the lady outside and met her making call. Is like the person pleaded with her that she should wait, after eavesdropping. I went inside and the beautiful lady came back to her seat smiling to her phone, Ugochukwu must have observed my movement and that of the lady’s.

Me: guy, you too fine. As I wan go piss, naso the lady drag me go outside ask me about you.

Ugochukwu: talk truth.

Me: na me go lie for you, she tell me say your pink lips dey make her mad. She even beg me to come beg you say make you come sit down with her, she for don follow me come our seat oh! But she be shy babe.

Ugochukwu: wetin I go do na?

Me: no dull yourself, go make the narrow way broad.

The idiot standup go the lady’s seat, he abandoned the food that was on the table. I no fit laugh sha… I observed the tense atmosphere hovering were the lady and Ugochukwu is. The lady must have asked him to get up and get lost from the seat rudely, but he refused to harken.

Naso we hear a sound slap wey sound gboooooosssssaaaaaa!! Everybody face that side to my guy Ugochukwu charging like injured lion.

Lady: are you insane! Are you deaf? Do you want more slap before you get up?

Come see laugh and shame na, Ugochukwu wanted to slap her back.

Before one yahoo guy entered the eatery with two armed soldiers behind him.

Yahoo guy: what the f--k are you tryna do?

Naso my guy hand fall, eyaaa!! Lady don slap am sha…

Previous Episode

Oga Landlord - S01 E11 (Story Episode)

Next Episode

Oga Landlord - S01 E13 (Story Episode)

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