Read Story: SEASON 1 EPISODE 4
Subtitle: F--k Fakers.
Voice: no vex na, abeg just help a brother. Stores never open.
Me: go knock for madam cash door na, her house no be her shop?
Voice: her pepper nodey sweet.
Me: you no know wetin you dey fine.
I got up from the bed, I knew he will never leave that door until I give him the pepper he needed.
I opened the door and saw Sampson smiling like olympic gorilla with his burnt teeth.
I went inside my kitchen and took four spoons of pepper and put it inside waterproof, then gave it to him.
Sampson: youngest landlord, you too much. You be baba.
Me: that one don do you bah?
Sampson: he start scratching his head I nodey like dry pepper oh, abeg help me with fresh pepper, biko youngest landlord!
Me: you wan collect your rent back or wetin?
Sampson: no, I dey craze. Na pepper I need no be rent.
I discharged Sampson after I give him the fresh pepper, I made tea for myself and entered my bathroom. Took my bath with the shower and dressed up.
Got myself together and headed to the shop.
I saw four children of the yard running towards me shouting seriously, they were running as if they were escaping death.
Voices: mommy! Run oh!!
Me: why ona dey run?
I asked them from afar, they didn’t say a word and ran pass me. Nothing was after them from were I was standing I didn’t see anything chasing them. I quickly ran inside the yard with them, I entered my room and bolted the door.
After sometime I overheard them laughing, I came out of my room and saw them playing little ball in the hallway.
Me: Junior, why ona dey run that time?
Voices: April fool! Tell your teacher you are a mugu!!!
I immediately bent down and picked up a slipper, before I even swung my arm to aim them the slipper. They already flee from the verandah like birds on a tree.
I no blame them, public yard children.
I decided not to trek again to brief the tp money, before another mumu go come use me play. I took bike directly to my shop and saw Emeka my boy, Chidimma whose aunt has a restaurant beside my shop sitting on Emeka’s laps.
Wonderple! She got up immediately she saw me and Emeka also stood up, his ercted dck was wrestling with his trouser.
Me: Emeka, you no wear boxer.
Emeka: ina ehn… Ego boxer two fifty. Two fifty.