Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E19

8 months ago

Me: abeg no come today, come tomorrow typed and sent

Albino: okay. I switched off my data, and faced Biggy who was going through a book.

Me: when you start to read na?

Biggy: when you turn my father, ehem… Man u get match today oh.

Me: make we go watch am, their mate dey play night football.

them dey play afternoon.

Biggy: if them nofit win this Europa I go commot from the club.

Me: see you? Them sign you enter the club, you don ever buy ticket go watch their match.

Biggy: very soon my yahoo go click, I go lock you up for all the insults you dey insult me.

Me: matcheewww… I go lock you inside house oh, come outside na.

We came out of the house ready to exit the compound, when we started hearing…

Voice1: useless man, you can not take care of your family shouting

Voice2: woman, i will beat you mercilessly, if you do not shut up! yelling

Biggy: no be caretaker voice be that?

Me: yes na, them don start their evening madness. The man sef no get manhood.

Biggy: you mean say em no get amu, guy, why you dey lie na..

Me: mumu… Your brain nodey function well, I mean sayna em wife dey take care of the family, come make we dey go joor.. hiss

We went down to the street, and stood on the main road.

Biggy: make we enter this bar watch the match.

Me: before! I dey hear say police dey jack people for bet9ja office.

We entered inside the bar, and took seats. The match was on as people have started cursing the players on the screen that are not playing well. Biggy signaled the waitress, the girl probably will be 19years, she is very dark to come over.

Biggy: bring two bottles of star. chisos! Two?

Me: hope say you get money to pay for the heaven and earth you dey order for sha..?

Biggy: if you no buy drink, them go pursue you commot.

Me: how the talk translate the question I ask you?

Biggy: I don hear she served the drink and keep an opener on the table

Me: Blacky, bring one bottle of coke and one hundred naira meat.

Waitress: my name no be Blacky oh, I get name, my name na Regina. see nyash

Me: your name fine like you, we fit talk later.. she startsmiling

Waitress: yes na, I go close for 8pm. My go bring your order.

Biggy: ashawo dey worry you oh, wetin you wan use that girl do?

Me: you be her father or brother?The match started well, as my club pressed on the opposition. They scored a goal, and the loud shout from the free viewer in bet9ja office was more than those of us who bought stuffs to watch the match.

Voices: goooaaaaaalllll!! Man u!! For life!!! outside

Man: goaaaallll!! shouting close to our table, spits dropping out of his mouth

Me: oga wetin na! i go use umbrella yell at him

Man: you dey shout for me? You know who I be?

Biggy: wetin concern am? Oga shift your gutter mouth, em dey smell.

Man: you dey mad! he want to slap Biggy, but when Biggy get up from his seat the man change his mind

Me: Biggy pity am, em weight no reach.

Man: you wan fight bah? We go see he walk outside holding his phone We were still watching the match, when the man came in with two other rugged looking guys

.I kept one of my eye on the screen and one on them, the match was about 78minutes when Biggy stood up.

Me: where you dey go? You never pay for the drinks you buy oh!

Biggy: na two bottles of beer wey go make me run, i wan piss.. I dey come now now.I was suspicious of him, Biggy can do the unthinkable sometimes. Some minutes later, another rugged looking guy joined the table of the man that we had quarrel earlier.

80minutes into the match and Biggy did not return, I waited for another three minutes he did not return. Is Biggy bladder now 50litres?I signaled the waitress to come over, I wanted to escape.

Me: how much be the money? give her one thousand naira note

Waitress: you and your friend own na eight hundred naira searching my pocket for my phone

Me: my phone… If you hold your phone, help me call myline still searching for it

Waitress: call your number

Me: 0906379***

Voices: goaaaalll! Man U for gutter! my phone ringing in my pocket

Boy: thunder roast this coach, commot this Ashley young na, make my slip no cut oh!

Man: na this guy talk say my mouth smell pass dirty gutter pointing towards me

Me: goaaaaalllll!!! Man u na stupid club, tufiaaa.. i start walking towards the exit*

Waitress: oga your change.

Me: I dey come…Immediately I stepped out of the bar, the other men stood up from their seats. I broke into a run, and they chased me.I ran like my life depend on it.

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Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E18

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Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E20

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