Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E13

7 months ago

I was not smiling when i got to the yard, Ayomi was standing in front of the yard. The moment she saw me, she started beaming like am father christmas.

Ayo: welcome uncle Vic.

Me: afternoon, Ayo going my own

Ayo: ehnn… I wan ask for something hope is not money

Me: wetin be that? Hope say em no concern money the tie was strangling me so I adjust it a bit, Biggy tied it as if I asked him to help me out in committing suicide

Ayo: no, ………. temptation

Me: tomorrow she started smiling shyly like catfish I unlocked my room ’cause Biggy was not inside the room, I entered and first checked all the pots I have for food, at last I saw one with rice. I carried the pot with a spoon, sat on the bed and started devouring the food.

The door opened and Biggy came in.

Biggy: wetin happen? This one you dey eat like occasion madman. I swallowed the rice in my mouth

Me: na only for 9ja, you go apply for 70k job. Them go ask you 2billion naira job questions.

Biggy: no wonder, na em make you invest all your frustration for that innocent pot of rice.

Me: the pot nodey innocent, it is the ’cause of my hunger.

Biggy: sha… We dey enter one church like that for all night, God don heal me.

Me: okay.I would have refuse, but I needed miracles in my life. So, we started sleeping after I took my bath in the afternoon.6pm, I woke up and prepared beans that we ate around 8pm, Biggy nearly cut off my head for delaying the food.

When we were done, we set out for the Church. On our way we started hearing voices, the next two public yards to ours, is known for quarreling everyday. And the one that usually starts this quarrel is Segun wife, because her husband is muscular, the only place that there is no muscles is his teeth.

He could be employed everywhere as a bodyguard, even to the president. I avoids his wife more than HIV.

Segun wife: useless woman, have you been f+cked by body builder in your life? see your slim hungry husband,goan feed him.

Voice 1: body builder wey dey m+an for night instead of you, your husband p---k small pass rice seed. Ashawo!!!clapping her hands

Voice 2: mama Uchechi, leave that woman na, before her husband go come beat up innocent man.

Biggy: the other woman bad oh, she dey listen to their night brigade.

Me: na the man i dey pity, em no go gree come yard for two days. We got to the church late, because the pastor was already on the pulpit.

Pastor: aaahh! aaaahhh… Your enemies shall not see tomorrow, can I hear amen?

Voices: amen!!!

Pastor: caste the devil of poverty in your family, now now!! Pray that prayer.

Voices: poverty die, poverty I bury, poverty i destroy you,foundational poverty die!!!I joined them ’cause we were killing poverty, but the man refused to stop. As the pastor was changing prayer points like clothe, some people were carrying chairs and praying. Others were hitting the wall in prayer, some are marching the floor hard. I wondered were they got that energy, i was tired and sleepy, did not know when i dosed off.

One usher nudged me, I staggered almost falling. I opened my eyes, the pastor was still on the pulpit.

Pastor: face East, face East, your enemies are there.

Voices; enemies from East die!! Enemies from East get accident!!! Demons of East scatter!!!

Me: which kind church be this? yawning I would have checked the name of the church earlier before entering, I dosed off again and usher repeated what he did earlier, I opened my eyes and saw that they have been praying for the past three hours non-stop, can devil survive this kind attack to his kingdom?

Pastor: ….. Army of the Lord pray that prayer!!!They started praying like army, including the usher. I wondered someone praying like that knows when someone is sleeping in the congregation.

I pretended to be sleeping, and he walked towards me to wake me. As he tried to nudge me with his body, I shifted and pushed him slightly. He collided into one lady and both of them fell on the floor.

Lady: stupid man!! resounding slap, gbooossaaa!!

Pastor: Jesus! everywhere quiet

Previous Episode

Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E12

Next Episode

Story: Toto Pass Toto - S01 E14

Related Stories
Tiit For Tat - S01 E31
13 hours ago
I Am Able - S01 E26
13 hours ago
I Am Able - S01 E25
13 hours ago
War - S01 E15
13 hours ago