Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

6 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

The city of Ilesa was very beautiful that night, or was it bcos of the money in my pocket. I tot of buying something for my guys. So i concluded i would buy red label and fruit juice. I went to a shop to buy the things, not Ireti’s shop, but a wine shop.

I bought four red labels and four fruit juice.
In addition to that, i bought four 400 naira recharge cards. I wanted to even buy the whole world for my guys, bcos they were really friends in need and indeed.

“where u dey come from? wetin u carry for that nylon?” Ilorin asked at the same time as i entered the compound. “i go thief for bank, na the money wey i thief for bank dey for dis nylon” i responded, “na ur type dey thief for bank?” Ilorin said. I walked straight to Angom’s room and handed him one red label and one juice. “u be my man, u be correct man” Angom hailed as he immediately opened the red label. “Flow wey my own?” Ilorin who just came in asked. “see am here” i said handing not only the drink to him but a recharge card.

I gave Angom his recharge card also. “see as u dey happy like say u fit drink one red label finish, u wey get light brain” Angom told Ilorin. “na u get light brain, u drink pass me?” Ilorin said. After a little argument, they both aggreed to go on a bet. 2k for the first person to finish his red label. They both handed me their 2k, that i should give the winner the 4k. I was sure Angom would win, so i placed a 2k bet on Angom. So if Ilorin wins he gets 6k, but if Angom wins, i keep my 2k and he gets 4k. As they began, i heard Sammy’s voice outside, he was around. I left Angom and Ilorin to go give Sammy his own drink and card. “i dey come now now” i said as i left.

I gave Sammy his drink as i also noticed an u’gly girl was cooking outside Kelvin’s room, she was cooking yam porridge.

I informed Sammy of the bet and we both went to Angom’s room to see the concluding part of the drinking challenge.

Angom won. Ilorin was angry. I gave Angom his 4k. “oboy i dey hungry oh” Sammy said, “me sef oh” me and Ilorin chorused at the same time. “i cook oh, but e be like say d rice no sweet oh” Angom said. “make wey go Kelvin room go chop, e be like say the yam porridge wey Kelvin babe dey cook go reach us oh, e plenty” Ilorin suggested. All of us walked out of Angom’s room leaving him alone as the ate his funny looking rice.

This time it was another lady, it wasn’t the same lady that cooked the rice and beans the other day. I gave Kelvin his own drink, he was very happy. The lady served us the Yam porridge. The yam porridge or rather “water water yam” tasted badly.
The food was as u’gly as the lady that cooked it. As usual, Kelvin and the lady ate from a seperate plate. While he gulped down the red label hurriedly, the lady just drank the juice slowly. “why Kelvin dey rush dis drink na, which day him begin dey rush drink like dis, abi him wan impress dis girl, bcos him dey like impress girls” i tot.

Before i could say Jack Robinson Kelvin had finished drinking the red label. And before i could say Jack Robinson again……………….. “gbuuuuu gbuuuu gboooooo” Kelvin had threw up on the lady.