Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

7 years ago

Must Read: Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba

I had insomnia that nite, it was as if the pounded Yam and Okro soup i ate at mammy market earlier was about coming out from my mouth. “Flow eh, if u vomit here u don f*uck up” , i said as i tried holding myself from throwing up in the silent hall, “make i no use vomit wake people from sleep” i said to myself…….

Flow! Flow! Flow!. I got that nickname is sch when i was in 100level. I entered a lecture hall late and the lecturer told me to stand outside along with others. He later told us to come in and explain to the class why we came late one after another. When it was my turn i explained saying, “i woke early, prepared for lectures, U GET MA FLOW, got to the bus stop, no bus, U GET MA FLOW, so i decided to trek, U GET MA FLOW, bla bla bla U GET MA FLOW”. I said “u get ma flow” a hundred times before i finished explaining due to the fact dat i couldn’t stand the huge crowd that was staring back at me.

The whole class laughed as if i was a Nigerian stand-up comedian. Since then my name changed from Ugo to Flow, as some people from other departments heard the story.

Since then na FLOW…FLOW…FLOW everywhere.

The nite was rather short as we were soon out for morning jogging by 5am. As we jogged i had no choice but to adore the whole corpers puting on white and white, it was as eye catching as the angels of heaven. “mehn i miss smoking weed with my guys back home oh” i said as we engaged in the rigorous “man o war” activities. Soon it was time for breakfast. “omo c this dry bread and water-water tea oh” i said walking to my hall to devour the bread bcos i was famished….

I letter got to know that they was something called “platoon” of which i belonged to platoon 3, same as Ayo. Ayo was becoming my best friend as the day goes. “i hear say dem go play ball next week oh” i told Ayo as we were in the conference hall listening to a boring lecture. “i hear am oh, u go play for our platoon abi?” he asked. “i go play oh, u no sabi say na me b world best defender” i said as Ayo told me he was a good striker………..

As me and Ayo was running after been chased from mammy by a soldier we we joined by Ezenna and Obinna. “how far Eze” i said “wetin dey happen” he respond. ”i dey like dele oh” i said shaking them both “Guy u still dey weed?” Obinna asked. “oboy i still dey weed oh, but where persin go c weed for this camp na” i added. “guy we carry weed come here” Obinna whispered to my ears not wanting Ayo to hear.

Immediately my jaw droped in astonishment. “Bad baggas, how dem smuggle weed enta camp?” i said to myself as i recalled our slogan as baggas, “Nothing dey hard for bagga”…….

After our football practice dat evening i told Ayo what Obinna had earlier Whispered to my ears.

He smiled and said “Na why i tell u say i like Ibo boys”.

Day 5 in camp and everything seems to b going on fine. Me and Ayo are regular costomers of “Iya Ruka” drinking spot in mammy, as well as a bush path we go to weed every nite with Ezenna and Obinna. Sometimes i fear that soldiers might see us as we enter the bush path to smoke, or if not soldiers snake might bite us as the bush was very thick and interior.

One day while coming out from the bush, somebody tapped me from behind.