Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

My only problem was that she was involving my baby in the whole thing.

“Chinaza knew I loved Willie and she just pushed her sister on him,” she had cried, stamping her feet on the ground at the supposed betrayal, everything good in her jingling to the rhythm.

“That’s not true. Williams had always been with Nelo, it’s just that they separated for a while, Chinaza had nothing to do with it,” I preached.

“Then why did he come to me when he had her?” she asked, heaving her huge ton of bum up on my little fridge.

“Shape no, you can’t do that. You will break my fridge abeg,” I said. She eyed me.

“Chinecherem take your time o. Stop calling me Shape, maybe that’s why Willie thinks he can use me and dump me anyhow he likes,” she said. I only noticed that she called me by my full name. Whenever someone gets angry at me, it’s always Chinecherem and no more Eche or Neche.

“No, Willie did not use and dump you. He is only acting on external forces,” I explained, helping her down from my fridge by her waist.

“Which forces?” she asked.

“Just take it that he is hypnotized at the moment, he will come back to you when he comes back to his senses.”

“Hypnotized by who?”
“I don’t know. Just take it that Nelo hypnotized him. It will fade very soon and he will come back to you.”

Shape stared at me for long and I felt pity for her. If only Willie had told her that he just wanted a fling, it might have been more easier on her and she wouldn’t be sleeping with me to get back at Chinaza for allegedly snatching Willie from her and handing him over to her sister. That was shape’s thesis, heck, I don’t even know where she got that type of silly idea from. Maybe it never occurred to her that Willie was a worse playboy than I was. She was just busy getting her self played with that type of get back and she was being very wonderful at it. I am not wicked, it just that sometimes, life throws juicy lemons at you and then you make a lemonade and sU-Ck the hell out of it. Shape was one sweet, juicy lemon.

The experience was good. She did things to me, things that I envied Willie for enjoying so long. She was good and more flexible than she looked.
All that b0s0m on my chest and her meaty K!ttyC@t was more than I could enjoy alone, we had to take it easy, one at a time.

“No wonder Naza doesn’t want to let you go,” she had told me as we lay panting on my bed.

“Why do you think?” I asked her.

“You have more muscles on your J0yst!ck than on your hands,” she said and we laughed.

“Forget that, if Naza wanted a J0yst!ck with more muscles on it than on Hulk Hogan’s hand, she would have gotten it. Our business is different. It’s love as in real pure love,” I sang with a stupid grin on my face.

“Why can’t Willie love me like that?” she asked and I hissed.

“I am Willie’s junior brother, not Willie. You are asking me questions that you are supposed to be asking Willie himself.”

“I think I understand. You, Willie, Chinaza and her sister are like family, I am the outsider. I am just your lodge mate and Chinaza is only hanging out with me because she wants me to look after you.”

My mouth was wide open as she read out the epistle. Shape was wounded internally and I don’t know how else to console again except the only way I knew.

“That’s not true. If you were an outsider, I won’t even let you touch my bed talk less of sleeping on it,” I said. I know, I sounded pathetic even to myself. She laughed hard and long. That was the first time after that disastrous visit to Willie. I was glad she laughed.

“You Chinecherem, you that can even sleep with a mad woman as long as she is beautiful and have big booty and b0s0m,” shape said. I eyed her for a long time.

“Shape oya start going to your room,” I said. She laughed more.

“Don’t you want midnight S£x?” she asked.

“I have hands.”
She looked at me, confused.

“Hands kwa,” she asked me.

“Yes hands.”
“For what?”
“Masturbation, go to your room abeg.”