Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

Episode 6 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Broke Playboy

“Did you cook?” Shape asked and Chinecherem scoffed. Even Chinaza was smiling mischievously. She obviously knew that cooking for me was next to reading my books without any upcoming exam or quiz in my list of impossibility.

“I’m hungry,” she said after getting that Fork you look from me.

“What do you want to eat?” I asked, rubbing at her tummy and having her smile up at me.

“Food.”

“Lemme buy indomie,” I said, trying to move her away from me. She refused and shook her head.

“What is indomie, is that what the baby will use and be Strong?”
“What do you want naa?”
“Take me out,” she snapped and my head cracked like a coconut.

“I know a restaurant around here that sells cheap and interesting food,” Chinecherem Chipped in.

“Yes, and they have the right food for pregnant women,” James supplemented her. I shot them two live bullets with my eyes and frowned.


Chinecherem was smiling sheepishly, I wondered what gave that small girl the right to talk among men. James was giving me that his wicked grin. I hissed.

“When married men are talking, bachelors and spinsters should mind their business,” I said and everyone laughed, except me, it was my Pocket money that they are trying to divide into three after all .

“Baby please,” Chinaza begged with a look that would make you buy her the whole of Mr Biggs but then, I don’t even have the money to buy her a mama put.

“I don’t have money,” I begged back. She didn’t believe me.

“Baby, please,” she continued.
“I don’t have money,” I repeated.
“Please.”
“Money.”

“So I and the baby should remain hungry naa,” she snapped.

“But I offered to cook indomie.”

“It’s not good for the baby abeg, he needs solid food.”

“Is the baby complaining?” I asked. She eyed me angrily, I don’t know if she was serious with the anger or she was just pretending but she was still lying on my body so I assumed the anger wasn’t serious.

“Maybe we should go to the woman outside the gate, she even have 100 naira a plate food,” Chinecherem continued with her suggestions while Naza kept nodding.

“100 naira food won’t do us naa,” James added and Chinaza nodded again.
“We? as in, who are the we?”
I asked, gathering as many frowns as my face would allow me.

“Us, all of us. We are hungry too,” Chinecherem answered.

“Do you see any b0s0m on me?” I asked and she shook her head, a good deal of confusion registered on her beautiful face.
“Why do you ask?” she asked me.

“Well, is like you are mistaking me for your mother.”

Again, everyone laughed except me. Then like a storm, Shape breezed in, dragging her butt0ckz in and Willie behind her butt0ckz.

“Hey, the latest couple in town, Welcome,” Chinecherem clapped. Everyone kept quiet and turned to her. The surprise was on everyone’s face.

“Ar ar, I know these two guys don’t smoke and no one in this lodge smokes so I am wondering who gave you the weed that is pushing you like this,” Shape asked.

“Ask her o,” James said. Me, I was just looking, how can someone be so mouthed. She hadn’t even been up to 3 weeks around and she’s already sweet on everybody, even Willie that she just met. A very naughty side of me saw in a vision, a 3some involving me and James hovering over her head like the holy spirit.

“Is she that your cousin?” Willie asked shape and she nodded.

“She is fine shaa,” he murdered and scratched his side burns. James coughed. Chinaza charged up.

“See Willie, something is bordering us here,” she said and Willie turned to her.

“What is bothering our wife?”
“We are hungry,” she replied, waving at all of us. We nodded. Willie was willing to impress and in no time, My door was closed and we were on our way out, like an extended family. Each to his company. Chinaza was willing to show everyone around that her pregnancy was mine. James and Chinecherem, well, Shape ensured he kept an accurate 9 inches distance from each other but that didn’t stop my niggar from massaging her booty from time to time.

We ended up at a restaurant. We and ate and we made merry, the boys drank and got drunk and the girls accumulated bills on Willie’s head but that money for his graduation tuxedo seemed not be finishing.
Shape took a sip of Willie’s drink and let her tongue loose.

She revealed in her drunken state, some things that was between her and Naza.
Apparently, she had asked Naza to come and keep an eye on us and her cousin. She trusted James a bit, it was with me that her suspicions lay. Obviously I needed to work on my reputation. Even shape is hiding her sister from me. Hmmmm.