Must Read: The Devil Who Loved Me

4 years ago

The smell of the marijuana blended with the
cold breeze of the AC. I tossed and turned on
my bed, thinking of the guy that had just left
my room. I started imagining him with his
Hausa girls. I wondered if he was ramming
Fatima there and then. I started feeling the
effects of the weed. I felt light like I was slightly
elevated; this must be the reason why they
described the feeling as ‘highness’.

I heard a knock on my door. I was so excited I
almost tripped as I rushed to the door. Jafar
must have been thinking about me as I was of
him. Perhaps the Malo girls had left..

I opened the door to see a sleep deprived Toun,
with a wrapper covering her b0s0ms to her feet.

I was disappointed.

Toun: I am sleeping in your room
Me: what happened, your bed not big enough
for you too?
Toun: Your friend Abayomi is just insatiable.

Without an invite, she went to my bed and la!d

Me: I don’t get..
Toun: shortly after he came in, I switched off
the TV so we could sleep. I heard him snoring
afterwards, that mixed with the slight cramp I
heard made it difficult for me to sleep. I was on
my own when the fool woke up and started
caressing my breastz. I thought it was just for
the moment and sleep will catch up with him,
then he pulled out his thing, took my hand and
placed it on it. I blamed it on the alcohol and
did what he wanted. That should have satisfied
him abi? No o… in no time he grabbed my head
I nudged it to his J0yst!ck. I teased, sU-Cked, licked
this guys J0yst!ck till my mouth started hurting. I
felt his pre-expulsion, salty and all then I
stopped. He got furious, asking why I should
stop when he was about to Pour. I told him I
was ON, things irritate me more. I reminded
him that I had no probs getting his Pour in my
mouth, sometimes I even swallow…

Me: Toun, too much information..
Toun: sharrap!.. he started getting into fits, so I
Me: can I sleep now?
Toun: what are you even doing awake sef?
Didn’t expect you to open the door..
Me: Jafar came around.
Toun sat up immediately, the tatafo part of her
brain was hyper.
Toun: so gist me na, what happened?
Me: nothing
Toun: what did he come for, salt?
We both laughed..
Me: we gisted and smoked igbo!
Toun: that boy is mad o, you shouldn’t have let
him in..
Me: he is gentle, he wouldn’t hurt me..
Toun: you sound so sure
Me: yes I am..
Toun: so you didn’t kiss or anything?
Me: nope
Toun: thank God…

Me: don’t start thanking God yet..i didn’t say
we would not.
Breakfast was bread and eggs, served in the
dining room. The three Hausa girls joined
Abayomi, Toun and I. I wanted to ask where
Jafar and the remaining guys were but decided
against it. There was a weird silence on the
table. I was looking at Fatima, trying to get
clues that she had been properly serviced.
Abayomi was still suffering from a Hang-over so
he took only coffee. Toun’s cramps had reduced
so she was in a better mood.
Abayomi volunteered to take us to Garki
market. Fatima and her crew declined the
invitation, saying they wanted to be around
when Jafar came around. I deliberated if I
should have stayed around like them.

The taxi we boarded from Lugbe to Garki told
us his fare was 1,500 Naira, Abayomi had earlier
intimated us that cab fare in Abuja was
relatively cheaper compared to Lagos. We
drank Fura and ate very sweet Suya at Rita-Lori
Junction, a bee-line from Apo bridge. Although
the market was big, we didn’t get anything
useful to buy, most of the feminine wares were
from Lagos, Onitsha or Aba. Instead of calling it
a fruitless journey, we went to Silver-bird
Galleria to window shop. I noticed Abayomi and
Toun were back to normal…if these two didn’t
marry themselves, life would be unfair I said to

Toun: Tana, were would you like to settle down
in future? I am really liking Abuja o..

Me: I will stick to Lagos
Toun: you don’t like Abuja?
Me: I do but I was born in Lagos, Lagos is my
state of birth, beside’s Imo, I don’t mind taking
up arms to defend Lagos.
Abayomi: Lagos ke, omo Nna like you..

He turns to Toun
Abayomi: so baby, you would really want us to
reside in Lagos?
Toun: you and who?
Abayomi: both of us now
Toun: you are tricking yourself; you know you
and I won’t end up together..

Abayomi: even your father with him big belle
cannot stop us!
Toun: even your short mother?
Abayomi: even your mother’s witch-craft..
Toun: I love you boo-boo
Abayomi: as soon as this your red robot is off,
your kinikan is in trouble..
Toun: chairmoo..
Now..i like my friends very much, but when
they start talking like I am not there, it makes
me angry..
Me: hello….single girl alert!..stop all this
Abayomi: na me say make you no get
Toun: oya shut up Abayomi..

Me: let him talk…Naetochukwu is waiting for me
in school
Abayomi: hehehehehe… desperado.. you know
you want Timi
Toun: boo..i hate you very much
Abayomi: Tana, this is 2007, you can ask Timi
Me: why not suggest Acho
Timi: that one time don pass, but that boy
service you well o..him sabi sU-Ck boobi?
I kept quiet, luckily Toun answered him..
Toun: yes na, he sU-Cks boobi well…

Abayomi: do you know?
Toun: ode boy…
Abayomi: ode girl…
Toun: I love you sha…
Abayomi: me too dearie..
I could suffocate..these idiots turned everything
to romance..
Toun: Abayomi, Tana is liking Jafar o..
Abayomi: how can you like a cultist?
I ignored them and walked to a boutique at the
left wing of the mall..
Abayomi followed me with an angry frown on
his face..
Abayomi: how can you like a cultist I said!
Weren’t you the one that was against us
accepting his money?
Me: well that was before I met him
Abayomi: so you admit that you like him..

What I thought was anger in Abayomi’s face
was actually concern, he was worried about

Me: it was just an attraction, not even a crush, I
will get over it..

Abayomi: promise me you will very soon?

Me: I promise
Abayomi: Promise me you won’t let him touch
Me: but you are not my father Abayomi
Abayomi: Tana, I want you to promise me..

Me: why?
Abayomi: those guys are dangerous..i know
what I am saying..
Toun: Jafar won’t hurt her, though I rather she
sticks to Nathaniel..

Me: is this like an intervention?
Abayomi: Please..
Me: okay..i have heard you..
The next day as the convoy drove to Ogun-
state, Abayomi insisted on sitting with Jafar,
Sparrow carried Toun and I in the volvo..Uche
and Aji were in the Hilux..

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