Story: My life as a Yahoo Boy By iphekitan - Season 2 - Episode 13

7 years ago

Story: My life as a Yahoo Boy By iphekitan - Season 2 - Episode 13

The following day was saturday, i waa still bothered by the whole incident of the previous night, God knows the look sandra who be giving me, and i hope she doesn’t start telling people about. I rushed home the morning looking stressed because i was able to sleep all through the night. I had a quick bath and locked my self in my room, switched on my pc, i don’t even have the mind for yahoo because of the present predicament am in. I started surfing tge net for hot videos, watched over 50 but still little johnny wasn’t coming to life. Then i switched to reading articles about my predicament, google displayed many site links, read and read but none was helping.

I tried krissh number over and over again that morning, his number was still unavailable. I then recollected that krissh do drink one local drink like that called “baby oku” and he do take a drug called tramadol anytime his about to have a match with his girls. And when i asked him then he told me it was for lasting performance on bed.
So i decided to purchase it and see if it would revive the lifeless little johnny.

I rushed out and purchase four bottles if baby oku and 200mg if tramadol. Went back home, locked my door, mixed the tramadol into the drink, and drank all the four bottle once. Chai greatest mistake of my life.

In less than 30minutes i lost myself, i was dull and very very dull, it was like i was high on alcohol but this was like ten folds stronger than that of alcohol, because i wasn’t in my right mind, i started watching the hot videos again, maybe little johnny would stand gidigba, but it was all a wish, the stuff refuse to rise o, in annoyance i punched the screen of my pc, mehn thats all i recollected o, as in i passed out straight.

The next time i woke up, i was too weak to open my eyes sef, minutes later i managed to open my eyes a little, i saw mum staring from above.
I was like “am i in heaven”, then i heard pman’s voice.

Pman: the devil is a liar

Mum : iro lesun pa iro (the devil is a liar, a liar)

I was shocked, realizing the state i was initially, beside my door was locked, mehn i widely opened my eye lids.

Mum : ife, ife, ife are you awake?

Pman: of course his awake, foolish boy.

I managed to ask

Me : what’s the time?

Mum : ife, ife, you want to kill yourself for me, ypu have out for over 24hours and you locked yourself in, what’s wrong with you for christ sake.

Mehn over 24hours ke, i turned my face to my wall clock and saw it was past 12,mehn the last tim i checked time before passing out was around 11 a.m, so we are in sunday already, chai i was really out, i knew pman had extra keys so he must have been the one who opened the door to my room.

Pman : hey, who used this drugs hun (holding the empty satchet of the tramadol) (mehn on sighting that in his hands i was speechless), so you are now into drugs, is that what you have been doing in school hun

Couldn’t let him think luke that of me, i managed to speak.
Me : dad it’s not like that……
Pman :(cuts in) shut up that mouth of yours, i called a friend of mine, who is a pharmacist and he confirmed what this drug does to me, hell, you took 200mg, are you crazy?

Me : (was just staring)

Pman : ( turns to mum) you better talk to your son, because i won’t condone such act in my house ( he stood up and left my room)

Mum : hen ife what prompted you to do this to yourself hen?

A part of me felt like revealing the whole issue to her, but i felt she won’t take it lightly, besides i don’t wanna add to her burden.
I wasn’t able to speak much, because i was still weak, she later brought me food and lucozade boost, to renew my strength. After much cajoling by her, i managed to eat and i had a little strength, though i couldn’t walk yet, by the time my mum left me to myself, i slept for another two hours, and on waking up, i was feeling somehow ok.

I decided to try krissh’s number again, and it went through.

Me : hello

Krissh : hello ife, how far now?

Me : Do you know you are an unfortunate being?

Krissh : aha which kind level be that na

Me : what went wrong with your phone yesterday?

Krissh : i was with my bae now, and the girl persuaded me to Switch off my phone to avoid DISTURBANCE, you know it’s weekend.

Me : tchew, cassanova oshi, woos yawa don happen

Krissh : wetin?

Me : you sha knew i told you about a bae i was to hook up that friday.

Krissh : yea that co-worker of yours, hope you riped her apart. Bad guy

Me : guy see, it was totally the opposite oh.

Krissh : aha wetin happen.

Me : my stuff refused to rise

Krissh : i don’t get you

Me : as in my J0yst!ck, my manhood, little johnny, didn’t function, it was erect at all

(he first laughed for like 2 minutes)

Krissh : ife you are funny, how would you thing not rise.

Me : guy am not joking here seriously now.

Krissh : hun seems you are serious about it oh, how come.

Me : seriously have tried all i knew and the stuff hasn’t turn up till now.

Krissh : guy they have gotten you oh. What did you drink na or hope no be the girl carry your prick go they form.

Me : she can’t do such, infact that night was embarassing sef, i didnt take anything expect lucozade boost and viju.

Krissh : ah this is serious maybe it needs the right motivation to be erect, have you tried getting an olosho (s*x worker) to perform all stuff

Me : what if it doesnt Turn up?

Krissh : then i’d be on my way to ib.
We would need to seek supernatural intervention.

Me : ok sha land in ib as soon as i possible.
.
Krissh : alright na.

Me: na you sure pass.

Hung up

At least there is still hope for me, i went to get a hooker that evening, after Series of Mouthaction, johnny still never rise, was a total embarassment. The following day is monday, i hope sandra won’t spread the news.

To Be Continued…