We kept on meeting and each meeting most enjoyable than the last. We met every night, we just missed just once but we had it every night. I Just kept glancing at my watch, it was 9pm and I was sitting at my regular spot just beside his house. we had spoken earlier today and I agreed that we also needed to talk. I had told him that I would like to know him a little more; after two hours and i was home and already on bed, trying so much to sleep and forget about meeting him.
What was I thinking, how could I ever think that this could work, he is way older than me, although I like , but how could this ever work, I don’t even know him, I don’t know what he thinks or feel about men , I wish we could talk; and I couldn’t help thinking that I was the only one in love. Just then he called and that we meet at the back of his house so I could come in the same way we usually did and every time, the house was always dark, even if there was power supply, the light would still be turned off maybe because everyone was asleep, now I knew I was looking for trouble with this kind of thinking, I mean, I have never seen the parts of his body, I don’t know if he has a mole on his Tip, or a scar on his back,or a stretch mark on his thigh; I wanted to know things about him and I didn’t know and what it just did was hurt , I don’t know if I could call it hurt, I was hungry, I honestly don’t know what to call it.
Well, he called me over and I crept there like a thief, a thief stealing what was mine or at least I thought it was mine, well, we had s*x as usual and I felt good and I felt loved and I felt good and I felt my spirit lifted again.
Laying on our backs facing the ceiling , we were silent and I broke the silence.
‘I would loved to know more about u, I would love we do things together’ I asked innocently.
‘I’m older than u, we must not be seen together, what would they say about us?’ Felix replied.
‘It doesn’t matter, or don’t u love me? ‘ I asked.
‘I love u, its just that I am 38 years old , I’m supposed to be married and in a home of my own but I stay with my parents still’ he said.
‘You work, you can afford to have your own place, if u stay here its for the sake of love, for the sake of the love of your family’ I answered.
‘Family, I hardly spend time with them’ he said.
‘Yes… But u are still family and they love you. If u don’t want to stay here, you can get your own place and I can come around freely instead of sneaking in late at night’ I said.
‘Yes but once I leave this house, it will mean I’m out of this country’ he said.
On hearing this, u cannot imagine how my bright clouds just became stormy, my could feel my heart drop, I felt like I was falling down with no where to land on.
‘ I don’t understand’ I answered back, with my voice a little thin, my hand a little sweat, I just felt uncomfortable.
‘Yes’ he said.
‘Travel where?’ I asked. I sat up defiantly.
‘Out of the country’ he answered,facing me but still laying down.
“Why?” I didn’t know when I blurted that out.
“I want to travel because, I know I am never going to get married, I have always known I was gay and I enjoy it; this lifestyle isn’t acceptable here and I want to get married and have kids, go out with my husband and kiss in public with my lover” he answered back.
‘But you and I can have that kind of life here, once I finish school, we can be together, we live together and adopt a child” I told him.
“Yeeess” he answered back in a hesitating tone.
“Then will u stay?” I asked.
“No I still can’t” he answered.
“Why” I asked.
“U are good at s*x but you are too young for me, I want someone my age or younger, let’s just have what we have” he said.
That was when it downed on me that I was alone in love, in an island all alone talking to myself thinking I had company and that means that I was totally mad.
“When will u travel” I asked.
“Soon, very soon” he answered.