Story: Man Wey Dey Reason - Season 1 - Episode 52

8 years ago

Story: Man Wey Dey Reason - Season 1 - Episode 52

Why Brainbox was arrested was because he promised the Lady he would help her secure admission into Poly Nekede for the sum of 100k. He ate the Money and the lady never got “ad”, not to talk of “mission”.

Five weeks later.

I had reconciled my result, and in a month time, i would be posted for National service.

Since his roommate Bigie left, Tupac got another roommate. A she this time around. Her name was Kate. Yeah! The same Kate you know.

Kate had been frequenting Tupac’s room of lately. And when we asked Tupac, se would always answer us saying; “she be my sister from another mother, i no fit do her anything”, just because He and Kate was from the same village.

“guy where you go like make them post you go?” I asked Snoop as we sat at Big boyz cutz one afternoon.

“guy i go like make them post me go Lagos oh” Snoop answered.

“me sef oh” I said.

“me i go like make them post me go Abuja oh” Brainbox said.

“if to say Pkc no come bail you for station, you for dey hear dey talk say you go like make them post you go Abuja? Maybe na for Police station NYSC for post you go” I told Brainbox.

“guys i happy for una oh, me i never know when i go wear NYSC khaki, i never even get admission” Man envied us.

“no worry God go do am for you, nahim make Pkc say make i teach you how to barb, so if all of us go service, you go dey barb dey get money wey you go use arrange yourself for school” Snoop said.

“if you like make you use Talley dey barb people” I almost said.

“what of Baba jay, him go go service?” I asked.

“yes na, him don clear for FUTO, na FUTO him go sef” Brainbox answered.

“what of Pkc, him don clear for IMSU?” I asked the obvious.

“him no wan go service na, him say na God work him wan do, na Church NYSC go post am go” Man teased.

“what of Tega na?” I asked because i cared.

“him don go Warri finally, abi you no know say them expel am since from Poly Nekede” Man informed.

“i no know oh” I was shocked.

“them expel him and Opopo because school security report them say them be cultist” He added.

“but why i no know all this things since na?” I asked.

“na because you no wan know na” Snoop answered.

Being a cultist in the University wasn’t for the lily livered. Cultist always called non-cultist “Jew men”.

All Jew men always graduate from school after Four years, but not all cultist ends up graduating, is a known fact.

Both cultist and Jew men are capable of spilling over. But only cultist are expelled. And the cultist that are expelled are the ones that always wear cultism as a crown where ever they go.

“eyah!! So na only Man and Pkc go dey if all of us go” said Brainbox.

“and Pkc go dey sleep for house well well because our church wan open new parish for Nekede, and na Pkc go be the Pastor of the new parish” Snoop informed.

“Man go be the Assistant Pastor na” Brainbox teased.

“how i go be Assistant Pastor, you want make the church scatter?” Man said.

If Man were to be the Assistant Pastor, it would had been awesome. He would heal the sick, and even raise the dead with the powers of his Talley.

For a long while, i had not fell sick. But as i sat in the Barber’s shop in the evening of the next day, i found out that i was sick. Medicine had no cure for the disease. That disease was Nostalgia.

As i thought of the fun memories ab initio i came to Uzommiri, i smiled.

We went to watch premiership football at a viewing centre down the road, and as we returned, we met Tupac at the gate.

“where my 5k” He held My shirt and that of Brainbox.

“which 5k?” I was surprised.

“i owe you money, wetin be this one na?” Brainbox was getting pissed.

He left our shirts, with a bright smile all over his face.

“why you dey smile na” I thought he was mad.

“him don mad na, you no dey see as him dey smile” Brainbox noticed.

“na your Papa dey mad” Tupac cursed.

He brought out his phone and said; “make una come see something”.

He showed us a picture on his phone of him ridding on Kate, he showed us another picture of Kate giving him a B’.low job, and the last but not the the least was a picture of him licking Kate’s P’.ussy.

He had won the bet.

He had f’.ucked Kate. I envied him oh.

“oya make all of una go bring my 5k one by one” He spoke boldly.

“you sure say them this picture na real?” Brainbox doubted.

“Mumu!! person show you picture of when him dey wayah Kate, you dey ask whether na real” Man said.

“how you take snap the picture wey she no know say you dey snap her” I needed to know.

“i be sharp guy na, i no let her know na, i use my handkerchief cover some part of the phone as i dey snap, and i silent the camera of the phone sef” Tupac said.

A month later.

“Baba jay where them post you go?” I asked Baba jay who just entered the compound.

“na Abuja oh” He answered.

“what of you?” He asked.

“guy na Osun state them post me go oh” I put on a frown.

“na for which part of Nigeria Osun state dey sef?” Man foolishly asked.

“na for north Osun state dey” I answered.

“Flow!! How you go say Osun state dey for north” Baba jay said.

“leave Man make him dey ask nonesense question na” I said.

“Snoop what of you, where them post you go?” Baba jay asked.

“na Oyo state them post me go oh” Snoop answered with a frown as if Oyo state was Iraq.

“na Brainbox we dey wait for make we know where them post am go” I said.

“why una no ask me where them post me go na?” Man teased.

“okay where them post you go?” I asked after we laughed for 5minutes non stop.

“na Big boys cutz them post me go na” Man teased.

We all made a roof raising noise of laughter.

“but i go miss una oh” said Man.

“guy me sef go miss you oh, i go miss everybody oh” I said.

Mehn!!! I savoured with nostalgia the fun memories ab initio i met my friends. I went through the good, the bad and the u’gly with them.

I also went through the Sugar baby, the L101, the chop biscuit, the chop s’hit, the rice and beans, the Ozommiri, the Talley, the Tupaco and Kpatalico with them.

Well, like the saying goes; “twenty children can not play together for twenty year”.

“shebi na on tuesday camp go open?” Snoop asked.

“na on tuesday na, that is next tomorrow” Baba jay answered.

“that mean say all of una go move tomorrow morning be that” Man said.
“but me go first reach Lagos oh, then by that tuesday morning i go from Lagos enter Osun” I informed.

“you don give Tupac him 5k for the bey-bey?” I asked Man.

Bey-bey means bet.

“i don give am oh, but na 4k i give am, i beg am” He answered.

“me sef na 3k i give am” I said.

“but Tupac na comfirm womanizer oh, how him take wayah Kate, Kate wey no dey give us face” I said.

“maybe him use touch and follow for her” Man said.

“Touch and Follow” is a Talley for Love, or you can call it Love portion.

“and Kate don Love Tupac well well now oh” Baba jay said.

True talk, Kate wasn’t head over hills in Love with Tupac, she was head over mountains in Love with him.

“i go miss una oh” Man said for the umpteenth time.

“i no know how this Nekede go dey for me without una oh” He added.

“guy you and Tupac go dey run things na, and i hear say Bigie go soon come back to this Nekede, i hear say him don go beg the Buccaneer guys, so three of una go dey run things” Snoop said.

Suddenly Brainbox staggered into the room.

“where you dey come from? and wetin you carry?” I asked.

I could percieve he was s’kunk drunk.

“i dey come from school na?” He answered.

“where them post you go na” I further asked him.

“omoh! Na Taraba oh” He answered.

“where be Taraba?” I thought Taraba was in either Niger Republic or Sudan.

“i no know where Taraba dey oh” He answered.

“guy you no know where them post you go, how you go take go na? You go lost oh” Snoop warned.

“i no go lost, na Plane i go enter go” Brainbox said that because he was drunk. And we laughed.

“na your type dey enter plane? no be person wey don chop belle full dey enter Plane” said Man.

“wetin you carry for nylon bag sef?” Man asked.

“na my call up letter and Alomo” Brainbox still held the nylon bag firmly.

“wetin be Alomo na?” I asked.

“na one paper wey you go show them when you reach camp” Brainbox replied.

“ehenn!! Them no give me any Alomo paper oh” Snoop said.

“me sef oh” said Baba jay.

“me sef oh, Brainbox show us the paper make we see how e be na” I waited patiently, then he handed the nylon bag to me.

I opened the nylon bag, and saw a bottle of a drink and his call up letter. His call up letter was practically swimming in a pool of the liquid that smelt acoholic. I raised the bottle and on it was written “Kasapreko Alomo Bitters”. That was when it dawned on me that the Alomo Brainbox was talking of was a drink and not a paper.

“Mumu! Your call up letter don soak for Alomo” I said.

The Alomo really damaged his call up letter. The call up letter that was supposed to be green in colour turned blue.

“this Alomo na correct drink oh” Man said as he drank the Alomo in the nylon bag, he almost drank Brainbox’s call up letter too.

We drank several bottles of Alomo that night. That was the first day i drank that brand. (una don forget wetin Alomo do me for “Ibo boy wey like Yoruba”?)

We prayed for about 2hours early the next morning. Serious prayers for our NYSC year. After the prayer, Pkc preached to us.

I almost cried as i logged out of Nekede, and Owerri.

Leaving ‘MAN WEY DEY REASON’ behind.

THE END.

All Episodes Of This Comic Story Was Written By “FLOW1759”

Watch Out For Other Stories From Flow:

• Ibo Boy Wey Like Yoruba
• Flow And Snow.

Please Drop Your Comment Of Appreciation