Story: Man Wey Dey Reason - Season 1 Episode 4

8 years ago

Story: Man Wey Dey Reason - Season 1 Episode 4

“Everybody, how was ur night?” Pkc asked the next morning, “mine was disastrious” i said out of my mind’s mouth.

“its time for morning devotion, Flow would lead us in praise and worship while Man would lead us in prayers” Pkc said, “why me na, i no get voice oh, the mess wey Baba jay give me chop last nite don make my voice dry oh” i almost said.

“worthy, u are worthy, king of kings lord of lords, u are worthy” i began. I sang one song for 5minutes before i could think of another song. I totally forgot songs, my brain went blank.

Now it was time for prayers. Funniest prayer ever.

“Baba God, how far, how heaven today” Man began, “thank u for the match wey Chelsea win yesterday, Baba God i say make i ask u oh, shey u be Chelsea fan?” he continued, “Baba, i thank u say me and my guys dey alive to see today, Baba give me strength as i dey go mix rice and beans today, in Jesus name” he concluded “Amen!” we responded. “Man wey dey reason!!” they cheered him. I couldn’t help but laugh at such a prayer, but i promised myself i would later ask him the meaning of “mix rice and beans”. “Man u need to learn how to pray oh, that thing u just did now is no prayer” Pkc said.

“if any of una wan carry woman come house, how him go do am?” i asked Snoop as we sat outside discussing that morning. “guy we dey carry am go Tupac and Bigie room” he responded pointing at a room at the extreme of the lodge. “we no dey let Pkc know oh, because if him know, him go vex well well, him no dey like dat kin thing” Snoop added. “make we go there make Tupac and Bigie see u and Brainbox” Snoop said. As we walked towards Tupac and Bigie’s room, i saw from the corner of my eyes that, Tega and Man were going out, so Snoop asked, “Tega u dey travel?”, because Tega was holding a bag. “yes, i wan enter warri” Tega responded. There was no need to ask Man where he was going to, it was obvious he wanted to go mix rice and beans.

“Man, how far you don come back?” Baba Jay said that evening. “ehn i don come, food dey house?” Man asked, “food no dey oh, na Golden Morn we drink” Snoop responded. When he said Golden Morn, he never meant Nestle Golden Morn, he meant Garri Golden Morn. When u drink Garri in that house, you would simply say u drank Golden Morn. It was the code name. I came to realize that there were so many code names that i needed to know their meanings. Code names like; mix rice and beans.

“ehen, Man wetin be the meaning of mix rice and beans sef?” i asked. “mix rice and beans mean say to mix cement and gravel a.k.a to carry kponkpon” Man said. “so na kponkpon work u dey do?” Brainbox said, “yes oh, and the thing dey give me money no be small, sometimes na me dey feed dis house na” He added. “nahim u no tell us make we follow u go?” i said. “i don tell Baba jay and snoop before na, Baba jay say him too old for dat kin job, snoop say him no fit carry kponkpon for dis him fine hair wey him plait” Man said.

“guy we go follow u go tommorow oh” I said. “una fit work? No be small work oh?” Man cautioned. “na me be Brainbox wey get power, and dis my guy na super Flow, u no see him chest?” Brainbox said pointing at my broad chest.

Ozimmiri lodge was more of a family house than a students hotel. Small but mighty. Our neighbours were:

Mama and Papa Ejima; The young couple that had a Four year old identical twin boys; Daniel and David. Mama Ejima was so beautiful that the moment i saw her i instantly had a crush on her, but i dare not make any move because her husband was a heavy weight boxer.

Mama Ejima was not as beautiful as Kate. The delectable Drop dead gorgeous Kate. She was so S’exy that the sight of her “mouth watering” a’ss from a distance could make not only one d’ick, but several d’ick to doff their hats, not to talk of her coming close, “u go just release”. She was our next door neighbour. She was very S’exy, but no guy in the compound dare asked her out because she was the perfect description of “u can admire but u can have”. She was a “runs” babe that deals mainly on Sugardaddies, “she no even get our time sef”. I was told the whole guys(except Pkc) went on a bet that whoever would sleep with her would recieve 5k each from other guys. I and Brainbox joined in the bet because we were sure no guy from that compound would see Kate’s p@anties, not even in dream world. Or so i tot.

Another neighbour we had was Tupac and Bigie. These two guys had stuck to each other like bee to nectar right from their childhood days. They attended the same primary, secondary and higher institution, and they were still staying together searching for job. If i was told that they were the reincarnation of American rappers, Tupac and Biggie, i would believe, because they really looked like them. Infact their lives were just the picture perfect lives of Tupac and Biggie, because inasmuch as they were close friends and roomates, they were always at loggerheads. I only wished a “Faith Evans” wouldn’t walk into their lives pretty soon.

We also had Haruna and his wife Nkiru as neighbours. Haruna doubled as the security man and the caretaker of the compound. I was told he had been into the security business since he was Seven. A business that had carried him far and wide Nigeria. He brags about marrying three wives. One Ibo, One Yoruba, and One Hausa. The Yoruba Lady, he Married when he was in Ibadan. The Hausa Lady was in the north. While the Ibo Lady was staying with him, her name was Nkiru.

Nkiru!! Oh Nkiru!! Nkiru was the u’gliest woman i ever came across. She looked more like a wild animal. Infact, it was better i died than marrying such a “vampire”. I wondered what Haruna say in her that made him marry her, well, like they say: “beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder”. Infact the only beautiful thing about Nkiru was that she owns the provision store outside our compound.

A provision store that guys wanted to run down with L101 and L102.

L was a code name for looting. While 101 meant “one person” and 102 meant “two persons”, so L101 meant looting that involves one person, while L102 meant looting that involves two persons.

To Be Continued…