In the billionaire’s bed - Season 1 - Episode 75

4 years ago

In the billionaire’s bed - Season 1 - Episode 75

But hell, I couldn’t help but feel scared, alone and worried…

It was the exact same way I felt when my mom decided to bail on me, when she decided to leave me here along with everyone else… She didn’t care that I’d be alone or scared, she thought that I could handle it all on my own… How wrong she was, her disappearance made me feel more alone and empty inside… She was the only one I had.
Not until I met her, the woman I thought would change everything for me… Not until I met Rafael, the man I took as my own father, the man I trusted with my whole f-----g life… But he freaking betrayed me, killed my father and tried to take over my company, Screwed Marcos’s mom and made his daughter fool me… All for what? Money? Hatred?

Sometimes I ask myself what I ever did to deserve this hatred from almost everyone I had ever lost? Sometimes I ask myself where I went wrong… Was it money they all wanted from me? If it was, why didn’t they just ask for it? Why did they have to pretend to like me?
If it wasn’t for Piper and Diego, I would have gone to the conclusion that nobody would ever care about me truly…

But now, Rebecca had managed to crawl her way into the space I never ever wanted anyone to occupy after the final betrayal, she had managed to break every single brick I had managed to put up… I thought I was doing myself a favor by kidnapping her, hell- I thought I would finally get my freaking revenge, but it all backfired with full force…
Rebecca Lewis was different.

And that was exactly what I like about her personality… She was strong willed and determined… Her no was her no.

I know we didn’t get off on the right foot, I know I did some shitty things that I would probably never ever forgive myself for, but all those things I did, all those crazy things I said, I was unconsciously using it to block out any form of feelings, I was only using it to protect myself from the hurt I was bound to face after everything.

Kidnapping Rebecca was one of my mistakes, I thought I could quench the hurt I felt whenever I thought of the betrayal. But it didn’t work… It never did.

I thought I could balance all my hatred on Rebecca, but I couldn’t- I didn’t have it in me, I was one to soak in guilt for my mistakes, for my wrong doings- but this was one of the reasons why I tried to put up a strong and cold behavior, I was trying to stop the world from seeing the overly fragile boy beneath this cold as stone behavior.

Well, it may have worked for the world, but it sure as hell didn’t work for Rebecca.
Rebecca.

I need to find her.

I need to know that she’s okay.
The day I asked her to leave, I wasn’t expecting her to stay, I was expecting her to go like everyone else did- I was expecting her to hate and curse me for holding her down, but she didn’t leave- she stayed with me.. despite my warnings and hard glares and awful words, she stayed… She didn’t leave me. And for the first time, I didn’t feel alone…

But I’m sure as hell that it wouldn’t last, they never ever stay, why did I ever think Rebecca would change everything… It’s only a matter of time before she tries to follow her family’s footsteps and leave with everything- it’s only a matter of time till she decides to go.