Password - Season 1 - Episode 15

Episode 5 years ago

Password - Season 1 - Episode 15

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Episode Title: Roping In The Police

Ato lies in the backseat for about an hour, and then Kofi appears.

Sajili kisses him in the doorway, and then goes back inside.

Kofi enters the car and drives out.

It is almost 2:00 a.m.

Kofi stops the car when they are well clear of the estate, puts his forehead on the steering-wheel, and begins to shiver uncontrollably.

Ato comes out of the backseat and sits by his friend.


KOFI
You saw it, didn’t you?


ATO
(stunned)
I saw it, bro. This is pure witchcraft! Let’s go to the police station. My brother is a policeman! Let’s go! They’ll arrest that witch and force her to withdraw that d--n password!!


KOFI
You s-sure?


ATO
Look, let me drive! We’re bringing the police in first thing in the morning! This nonsense must stop right now!

There is a police station quite near their workplace.

At break time later that day Kuntu and Ato go to the police station to lodge a formal complaint.
Ato’s brother has directed them to a Sergeant Abbiw at the station.

Sergeant Abbiw is a jovial, florid-faced man who is on his way out on another assignment, so he takes them into an inner office of the police station and leaves them with another Sergeant called Setorworfia to help them.

SERGEANT SETORWORFIA is tall, dark and serious-faced.

He listens patiently to them, and then he stands up and goes outside without a word.

He returns a few minutes later with two pens and sheets of ruled paper.


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(gently)
Listen, guys, you better write down your statements. We’ll take it from there.
Kuntu looks anxiously at him with very troubled eyes.

KOFI
We have a tight case, right?

The policeman looks upwards for a bit, and then he looks at Kofi and smiles.


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
You have an airtight case, bro. Don’t worry a bit. We’ll set you free soon.

Tears almost glitter in Kofi’s eyes with profound relief.


KOFI
Thank you, thank you very much, bro.
Setorworfia leaves them, and Ato smiles reassuringly at Kofi and pats him on the shoulder.


ATO
Come on, Kofi. Write everything down. We’ll give that Indian witch hell, I tell you!

For the next thirty minutes Kuntu puts down everything that has happened since he received the Jamaican Stone from Ato.

Sergeant Setorworfia comes in and takes their statements, and then he leaves quickly.

Ten minutes later he pokes his head inside and speaks in a rush.


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(gruffly)
Come with me, guys.

Kofi stands up warily and looks at Ato with some discomfort.


KOFI
It seems that policeman is trying hard not to laugh, Ato.

Ato nods and licks his lips nervously.


ATO
Yeah, yeah! I got the same impression, man. His cheeks were kinda shaking gbrada gbrada each time he came inside, and his eyes were very red as if he was laughing inside his chest… you know, like he is really trying hard not to let us see he’s laughing!

They follow Sergeant Setorworfia to the main reception area. There are other police personnel here, men and women, and all of them are striving to keep a straight face.
One of the ladies, a beautiful black beauty, puts down her phone and looks at them.


POLICE BEAUTY
So which of them is the Kofi Kuntu?

The moment she speaks all the police personnel burst into uncontrollable raucous laughter, making Kuntu and Ato look at each other with acute discomfiture.

It is now quite evident to them that their case has become a sort of jest and fun for the police.
Ato, chagrined, turns on Sergeant Setorworfia with some venom in his voice and on his face.


ATO
(angrily)
Look here, what’s the meaning of this, huh? We brought our case to you and you made it a public comedy of a thousand laughter?
Setorworfia, who is leaning against the wall and laughing very hard whilst holding his stomach, now straightens with something like shame on his face.

He shakes his head slowly and wipes tears of mirth from his eyes.


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
Sorry, guys, but you must admit the whole incident is hilarious! You guys really didn’t mean any of it, did you?

There is a fresh bout of laughter, in the room.
Kofi feels the helpless pain crushing his soul.
Still, he notices that there is a corporal sitting behind the counter who is looking on without so much as a twitch to his face. Indeed, he looks almost angry.


He is wearing his cap rigidly, and his face is a map of tribal scars. His eyes flit from Kofi to Ato, and finally settles coldly on Kofi.


ATO
(furiously)
D--n sure we mean it! You have to arrest the Indian witch!

This sets them off again into peals of uncontrolled laughter.

Setorworfia waves their statements in the air and shakes his head as his mirth slowly peters out.


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(patronizingly)
Listen, my friends. I was ordered by my Commandant to arrest the two of you, initially, but because Ato’s brother is a policeman, we will let you go.


KOFI
(indignantly)
Arrest us? Arrest us, you say? For what? Why? I have a case and-


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
(harshly)
You have no case, my brother! No case at all! This is not a criminal case. We don’t deal in ghost and juju and spiritual things. On what charge are we going to arrest this Indian woman? And how are we going to prove that she made you impotent? When the case goes to court are you going to let her pull your penis and testicles and slap your butt0ckz so that your p---k will erect? And you seriously think, for even one second, that she will do that supposing what you’re saying is true? No, she wouldn’t. Moreover, she can always deny that she and you made love. She’ll say you were impotent and couldn’t get it up from the word go, and now you’re trying to put your impotency on her. No, my paddy. We can’t arrest her, we can’t send her to court. It is, at best, a most foolish case.


Kofi and Ato look at each other with utter consternation.



ATO
(hoarsely)
You mean… you mean you can’t arrest Sajili? And you made us waste our time writing those statements? Aba boshit nso nyi?


SERGEANT SETORWORFIA
I’m sorry, dude. There’s no charge to arrest her on. We don’t deal in spiritual and psychological stuff. We deal in physical and fact-based crime. The police do a lot of things, but the one thing we don’t do is arrest witches and spiritual penis password specialists!

There is a bout of laughter again.
Ato takes Kofi’s arm.

ATO
Let’s get out of here, bro.

The beautiful police woman stands up and puts her arms around Kofi’s neck, looking at him with a mixture of pity and mirth.



POLICE BEAUTY
You’re a handsome man, Kofi, so very handsome. Listen, next time she mentions the password, memorize it okay? Then come and tell me. I’ll gladly pull your penis and turn it around and pull your hwea balls and slap your butt0ckz for you! I really want to do it for you! Maybe I can learn from it too, and keep my boyfriend’s d--k on a password! Oh, every woman should have this ability to password a penis!

Kofi stumbles out of her arms and rushes outside blindly.

Ato follows him out.

They can still hear the strident laughter of the police personnel from within the office.
.