Must Read: Diary Of A Sexx Addict (18+)

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: Diary Of A Sexx Addict (18+)

Yea, I am truly missing something!
There’s a missing piece of this puzzle
somewhere. When Emon warned me about Margaret at the stadium yesterday, I didn’t read more into it. I just took it as the normal hostility or dislike girls have towards each other. I felt emon was just being paranoid, coupled with a bit of jealousy and an urge to protect me.


I still remembered the way she looked at me when I was chatting with margaret at the stadium. Was her comment just a warning or was it a hateful effort to spite an adversary?

I need answers.

The look of surprise on my face made her to laugh a little more.

“She told you I was a s-l–u-t didn’t she”.
I hesitated for some seconds.
“You’re not the only one she has said that to, and I don’t think you’d be the last either”.
“So, why is she painting a false picture of you all over the town?” I asked, willing to fix this puzzle.
“False?” She asked as she smiled. “She’s not entirely wrong sha, I deserve that”.
She light another cigarette.
“Who isn’t a s–l-u–t?”, she continued. “I sleep with guys, who doesn’t? If your activities become obvious, then you are termed a s-l–u-t, a b–i–tc-h, wh-o’r-e or whatever humiliating name they can conjure up”.

She was calm as she sips her drink and draws the cigarette like the two complements each other.

“The truth is that girls give it up at one point or the other in a relationship. It could take a day, a week, a month or a year but at one point, she still gives it up”.

“The only difference is that I don’t date, not anymore. Dating is too complicated and comes with lots of baggages. Family, friends, personal believes attitudes and much more”.
I had a contrary opinion, but I don’t dare interrupt this tale.

“Some girls give it up because of money, some due to genuine love, some due to pressures, some to get security and protection”.
“I once dated a cult guy at school, not because I loved him or anything. Cult guys were chasing me around and trying to intimidate me into dating them. They even threatened to Molest me and make my life at campus miserable. There was a well known cult guy on my faculty then. I told my story to a friend who introduced me to the guy, and just like that, all my problems were over”.

She continued.

“I slept with a lecturer that refused to release my result. He insisted that I didn’t write the exam and that my scripts were no where to be found. After much persuasion, he agreed to release my scripts if I sleep with him. I refused. But after re-sitting for the course the next year and scoring a plain 21%, I caved in”.

“So, you see, at one point or the other, we girls give it up”.
-yea, but that doesn’t explain why Emon is taking it personal with you, she’s not the anti-s.e.x police- I thought to myself.
I didn’t want to be too forward. I wanted to let her go at her own pace.
-silence is golden-

And by keeping silent, I might get all the answers I need.
Or not.
“But she shouldn’t have called you that”, I chipped in, trying to redirect our conversation back to the subject matter.
“She made it sound like you trade se–x for money or something”. I concluded.
She smiled as she made a last draw from the cigarette she was holding, she threw the stub on a metal container beside the drawer. I peeped in and saw a huge deposit of cigarette stubs inside the metal container. I wanted to advise her against excess smoking and the risk she stands as a lady, but I dare not derail this tale.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t be bordered if she goes all out and tag me a p.r.o.st.i-t–u-t’e”.
“Why so?”, I asked.
“Have you heard of the term ‘trade by barter’?”, she asked.

-JS 1, Business studies, that same topic made us brand the teacher a nickname, “madam barter”-
I nodded, wondering what that has got to do with anything.

“You see, people traded using services and goods for exchange before the advent of money”.

Now I see where this was headed to.

She continued.

“So when money was introduced, people traded with it and the barter system died down, but not completely”.

“Some girls still use the trade by barter system, instead of trading with money, they trade using what they have to get what they need. The need could be for love, affection, are, security, acceptability in the society, or even husband”.

“But some that adopted the new trading system that uses money as an exchange are tagged pro-sti-tutes”.

-wow, what a shallow way of reasoning-
I still didn’t completely agree with her, it must have showed on my face.
“You don’t agree with me?”, she asked.
“Not completely”. I said.
“So what’s your take?”
“Relationships are more deep than you think. Everyone needs a soul mate to share his or her life with, even God was aware of that, that’s why he made a help mate for Adam”.
I continued.

“You may not have all your needs met in a relationship. But you have to sacrifice some of those needs for the ones you can get”.

“How”, she asked.

“Have you heard of opportunity cost?”, I asked, trying to use her analogy of school topics to buttress my point.

“Yes, economics”, she replied.

“Ok, human needs are insatiable. So you table your needs in order of importance and try to make priorities. if love is what you need, then go for it, the one you settle down with may not be able to provide other needs such as money or security, so money and security becomes your foregone alternative”.

“Nice analogy”. She said.
“But I still don’t like relationships, it complicates things”.

“You must have had a bitter experience”, I asked.

“Yes”, she said, “I went into a relationship with my best friend. We were so close that we decided to go intimate and exclusive, it worked for some time until things started falling apart”.
“What happened to you and him?”, I asked.
She stopped, looked at me for some seconds, there was a look of regret or disappointment on her face, I couldn’t tell which one exactly.

But that look made me realize it pained her to loose whoever it was she lost”.
“Its not a he my dear, its a she”.
“A she?”, I almost screamed, but I tried to remain calm.

She looked at me with the same sad look on her eyed.
“Its not just a she”, she said, “its emon”. .