Must Read: An Incest Birthday (18+)

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: An Incest Birthday (18+)

“Who would wanna divorce your father? He’s good looking and has a ton of money, unless he’s horrible in bed. All the money in the world can’t make up for a saggy J0yst!ck,” Becky said.
“Becky what the F**K is a saggy J0yst!ck? Who even talks like that?” Carina laughed.
“Trust me, you know what it is. If I’m keeping myself looking good for you as hard as that is to do you better be putting it down in bed, I don’t want a lifetime
supply of batteries…”



“OK can we stop talking about s*x with my dad! Jeez! What’s wrong with you! Anyway, you guys said we’re going to Café Stratos? What time are we meeting there?” Ashley asked.
“Hey they’re your friends, and yeah we’re meeting there around eight. If you start now you might be finished getting ready with just enough time to get there,” I joked.
“Ha-ha, you have no idea what we go through to make sure we look good,” Dana said.
“Yeah I do. Hours of shaving and plucking, picking out clothes, doing hair and makeup, and finally tying it all together just to reject every guy who approaches you.”
“I’m not gonna do all that work just for any random guy who comes up to me are you crazy?”
“Yeah but night in and night out, and night in and night out, don’t you ever get tired of it? You basically do six hours of preparation for a hundred bucks in drinks.”
“They get to see all the work we did too… look but not good enough to touch,” Carina said.
“Rita do you agree with any of this,” I asked looking for a difference of opinion.
“I never had to do that so I can’t say anything about it. One thing I do know is I’m not gonna go through all that work when I know it’s all gonna be for nothing in the end,” Rita said.
“That’s what I’m saying! It’s like they’re only doing it to be the world’s biggest teases.”
“When you got it, flaunt it, otherwise you’re wasting it,” Becky said.
I stared at Ashley again. “Your friends. We just stopped by to let everybody know what’s going on, we better going. Oh and before we leave, one more thing…”




I ran over to Becky and grabbed her up, fighting off her little struggles and tossed her in the water. I looked back at Ashley who pretended to wave a white flag and turned back to the water to wait for Becky to come up, and she was mighty pissed when she did.


“Randy what the F**K? I was tanning you jerk. Now I gotta wash the chlorine out of my hair!”
“I’m pretty strong, so I flaunted it. That is what you said earlier right?” I laughed.
“Oh you’re a bastard, I’m gonna knock your food on the floor later right when it comes out!”
“HEY! That’s a serious statement. There’s no water in the restaurant so I don’t know where you’ll land when I throw you in there. Don’t be messing with my food!”
“Just wait, I’ll get you. You better hope this smell comes out today or that’s your butt0ckz!”
“Says the hundred pound flimsy girl, I’ll take my chances. See you at dinner.”
“You know she’s not letting this go until she gets even right?” Ashley said as we were leaving.
“I know, but it was worth it, as long as she doesn’t mess with my food, then there’s a problem.”
As we were leaving I was so caught up in tossing Becky in the water and gloating about it that I didn’t hear her get out of the pool and run up on me. She got about ten feet away before my peripheral vision kicked in and I saw her charging me. I turned the jets on and booked out of there like I was getting chased by Cujo, all the while laughing at the situation.
“Yeah you better run! I’ll see you at dinner tonight Randy, I’ll be waiting on you!” Becky yelled.



I made it to the car way before Rita did and was already inside with it running before she showed up. She casually walked up and got in with a grin on her face like she was trying to hold in a laugh but was about to crack at any second.
“I can’t believe you ran from little tiny butt0ckz Becky,” Rita laughed.



“Hey she caught me off guard, survival instincts kicked in,” I responded as I drove off.
“Well I hope you don’t leave me behind next time your survival instincts kick in.”
“Like that one video where the guy pretending to be Jason came out of the water and scared the two people and the guy pushed his girlfriend in the water and booked it?”
“Yeah, you better not even think of doing that.




You stay behind while I get away.”
“What? So I’m supposed to stay behind and get sliced up while you get away clean?”
“YES! You’re supposed to make sure I’m safe!”
“That goes out the window when we’re being hunted by a serial killer! If I start running you better start running too and keep up, and for the love of god please
don’t trip and fall.”
“I’m gonna trip and fall on purpose so you HAVE to come back for me.”
“If he’s closer to you than I am when you fall I’ll keep you in my memories.”
“Unloved. What kind of man wouldn’t get brutally murdered for the woman he loves?”
“Go find any man that’s gay or not stuck in the friendzone and take your pick.”
“I bet Chris would let his balls get chopped off for Stephanie…”
“WHAT? Haha Chris would run and we won’t know why until it’s too late. Why are we even at Crystal Lake in the first place? We should all die for being Bleeping stupid!”
“Yeah that’s true. Still you should be willing to be decapitated for me…”



“Ok Rita, fine, if we ever get chased by a murderous tall undead bastard I’ll make sure to hold him off long enough so you can get away, which will result in my
horrific murder.”
“Thank you, that’s all I wanted you to say,” she said perking up in her seat.
“Yeah yeah, but if Freddy attacks you in your sleep you’re on your own.”
We drove the rest of the way to Stephanie and Chris’ house with me casually glancing over at her and her still keeping that grin on her face.



I may have said what she wanted to hear, but if that situation ever came up she better run faster than me and not fall, there’s no Bleeping way I’m walking into a brutal death when we’re all most likely dead anyway, F**K that. We pulled up to their house and went in with the keys we’d gotten from them (oh yeah, we all had keys to each other’s house now). We went up to Chris’ room where they both were laying on the bed all cuddled up together watching something on MTV.

“What’s this? Don’t even bother to shut the door anymore?” Rita asked.
“What’s the point? There’s nothing to hide. If we wanted to do anything the door would be locked, but knowing you you’d still find a way to get in,” Chris said.
“Yeah whatever, in your matching camo pajamas all cuddled up watching sixteen and pregnant, she’s turning you Chris, and you don’t even see it happening.”
“I like sixteen and pregnant! This show’s the Sh*t! I’d watch this all the time even if… ok I can’t even say that with a straight face, she tricked me into watching this.
“Tricked, or bribed?” I asked.
“A little of both, but since she’s pinching me really hard we won’t get into that, owwww!”
“I didn’t trick you, I simple asked you if you wanted to watch this with me,” Stephanie said.
“Yeah with the eyelashes and boob sq££ze and smile, yeah it was all innocent.”
“I didn’t trick you, whatever. We’re getting off topic, did you guys tell your parents?”
“Yeah we told them at breakfast this morning, did you?” I asked.
“We’ll tell them tonight. It’s better if more people are around,” Chris said.
“Good because our parents are gonna be there, your parents, Aunt Lisa, Ashley, Becky, Carina, Dana, and even Ashley’s father is gonna be there along with the
rest of us.”
“Well. I think that’ll be enough people, and with Ashley’s father coming he might pay.”
“That’s what we said, not to mention the big butt0ckz tip Denise is about to get.”
“What if our parents have a problem, what if they don’t think we should go?” Stephanie asked.

“Why would they have a problem? You have to leave home sometime,” Rita said.
“Yeah but they only had the idea that you were leaving town in their head, what are they gonna say when they find out we’re coming with you?



You think they’ll be mad?”
“Not even close. They didn’t get mad when they found out when you were sleeping together; this is nowhere as big a bomb as that was. They’re ok with they’re ok with anything.”
“You think we’ll all be ok there? Just the four of us I mean?”
“I don’t see why we shouldn’t be. We’ll all have jobs, we’d only need a two bedroom place and with four incomes that’ll be nothing. We have two cars and more than likely we’ll be working in the same area, so yeah we’ll be fine.


We have to grow up sometime.”
“Yeah but how often are we all gonna be able to come back though? The chances of us all being able to get the exact days off at different jobs aren’t so high,” Chris said.
“It shouldn’t be that hard if we ask for the days off ahead of time,” I said.
“Yeah, days is easy, I’m talking about if we wanted like a week off at a time or something.

Seattle is twelve hours away; it’s pointless to just get away for a couple days at a time.”
“I guess that’s something we can figure out when we get to it I guess.”
There was a knock on the door and Jim poked his head in. “What’s going on everybody?”
“Nothing, just relaxing, kicking back and watching some sixteen and pregnant,” Chris joked.
Jim started to laugh until the title clicked in his head. “I hope you’re watching it out of entertainment and not for informational purposes…”
“Yeah dad, just for fun, and torture, I’m being forced to watch it.”
“Whatever Chris you picked the channel, you know what comes on mtv now,” Stephanie said.



“Yeah. Anyways I came up here to borrow Randy and Chris, we’re moving boxes from the attic to the garage and since you’re both here it should go a lot faster.”
“Why? Everything’s up there so neat and stuff, why move it around?”
“Because the shelves in the garage aren’t being used for anything other than collecting dust. When Rita and Randy went up there looking for the tapes they
would’ve been back much quicker if everything was in the garage, there’s a lot more space in there for organizing.”
“Who are you kidding dad, mom told you to do it didn’t she?”
“Yeah. She doesn’t want anyone going up there. She thinks it’s too dangerous.”
“Mom always has the last word. Especially if it involves any kind of manual labor,” Steph said.
“Not always. I’ve won at least two of the last ten thousand arguments. Progress.”
“That just proves my point. Have fun being mom’s slaves for the next couple hours.”
We went to the attic and did a chain line since it was a drop ladder attic so we could get a nice pile of boxes down at a time and then take them outside once the pile was big enough. When we had about twenty boxes blocking up the hallway we each grabbed what we could hold and headed out to the garage, stepping into heat that felt like it rose thirty degrees in minutes.