Must Read: An Incest Birthday (18+)

Episode 7 years ago

Must Read: An Incest Birthday (18+)

“Trying to go to sleep.”
“At four in the afternoon?”
“Don’t judge me, I’m tired, so I’m sleeping.”
“Well get up, my dad’s inviting you guys to the drag race show today.”
“Not today.”
“Today is the only day man! Come on, it’ll take you mind off everything, you need it.”
“Nothing is going right man, I need to fix this, I don’t need a distraction.”
“That’s exactly what you need, you’ll work better with a clearer head once you get rid of that stress man, come on, don’t be that guy.”
“You can’t use that man, that’s cheating.”
“You made me do it. So you coming, or are you gonna be that guy?”
Cheating bastard. “Fine, I’ll go, this Sh*t better be fun man.”
“It’s drag racing, what’s not fun about it? Meet us at our house in half an hour, gotta go.”
He hung up as quickly as he called. I lay back on the bed and thought about going back to sleep, and was halfway there before dad came bursting in the room.


“Alright, I know Chris told you, put on some decent clothes and let’s go! DRAG RACING!”
Like Chris, he was gone just as quickly as he showed up. Dad loved drag racing. From what I remember, he used to take mom to the races a lot when they were younger, he even had himself a souped up thunderbird to race with, but sold it when mom got pregnant with us. With dad this excited, I knew there was no way I’d be getting out of going now. I got up and took the worlds quickest shower, threw on some shorts and a shirt and was ready to go in fifteen minutes or so. Aunt Lisa’s car was gone and Rita was nowhere to be found even though our car was still there, and I didn’t have time to look for her with dad rushing me to the car, so I would wait until we got back to try my luck again at getting through to her.


The drive there was silent, mostly because dad was excited to go to the show, but when he noticed I was slumped in my seat not saying anything, he turned his attention to me.
“Still no luck working things out with your sister?”
“Nope. Every time I try to fix it I just make it worse.”
“Why exactly is she mad at you? I asked Rita but she kept saying ask you.”
“Long story short, she and Stephanie walked in on me kissing Ashley.”
“WHAT? What the hell is wrong with you!” His anger was definitely noticeable.

“No it’s not like that dad, it was a big misunderstanding!”
“How do you misunderstand kissing someone that’s not your girlfriend?”

I had to tell him sooner or later, might as well get it out of the way now. “Ok, I’ll speed run through it. We went to a party at Ashley’s house, we helped set up everything, Ashley gave some of her clothes to Rita and Stephanie for the party, people came and everybody was getting drunk but us, Ashley pushed us to drink, we did, I can’t hold my liquor, Chris takes me to a bed to lay down, a girl I thought was Stephanie came in the room pretending to be her in the dark, we start making out, actual Stephanie and Rita show up, turns out I was kissing Ashley, Rita and Steph storm off, Ashley picks up the same clothes off the floor that Stephanie had on and a blonde wig and let me know she set me up, bam, I’m in the doghouse.”
He was quiet for a second. “That’s an awfully elaborate story.”
“You think I can make that up? When have I ever been a good liar dad?”
“I’m just saying, it really stretches the imagination, that’s a lot to believe.”
“You know me dad, you know I’m not that type, I’d never do anything like that on purpose.”
“That may be true, but it still happened, and you still have to fix it.”
“I’ve been trying for the last few days, I’m getting nowhere, I only make it worse.”
“Look at it from a woman’s point of view, they saw nothing but you kissing another woman. You need to sit them both down and appeal to them from their view, because I know you haven’t yet, and maybe they’ll listen. And don’t try to sU-Ck up, makes you look guilty.”
He turned the radio on and I went back to looking out the window until we got to the Wilsons. Once there we skipped the formalities since they wanted to get there on time and we all loaded up in the Wilsons car. Mr. Wilson was doing at least eighty-five on the freeway so we could get there on time while rambling on with dad the whole time. Chris was on his phone texting the whole way there, not even bothering to look away from the screen, which suited me fine because I just wanted to sit there and look out the window anyway. A good twenty minutes later we finally made it to the site where the drag racing was being held, but finding a parking spot was such a hassle it wouldn’t have mattered if we were late anyway. We finally found one and got inside just as they were finishing up the intros, a little late but not by too much.

“We’re sitting in the blue stands, so get your food or whatever and meet us there,” dad said.
“Good, they’re finally gone. You won’t believe what happened man,” Chris said.
“You better tell me before you dive back into your phone for another two hours,” I remarked.
“That’s it though, I’ve been talking to Steph this whole time.”
“Ok, there’s nothing unusual about that…”
“We got closer.”
He now had me interested in the conversation. “What do you mean closer?”
“We were arguing about if you were guilty or not, then some stuff was said, and come to find out, she’s been in love with me for some time now. Can you believe that!”
“She has? What about all the kissing and flirting and trying to have s*x with me and all that?”
“She was trying to make me jealous. She said she’d about given up on me and was really gonna sleep with you if I didn’t pull my head out of my butt0ckz, her words not mine.”
“When was all this gonna happen?” I asked as we got our food and went to sit down.
“At the party, she was coming up to F**K you when she caught you with Ashley, the irony.”
“I don’t know if I should be relieved or pissed off…”
“Well however you take it we have to thank you.”
“For what?”
“If you didn’t get caught with Ashley Stephanie probably would’ve slept with you, and I would’ve missed my chance to be with her.”
“You two F**K all the time what was different… wait, you made love?”

He stared at me for a second before nodding his head. “Yep. I see her in a whole new light now. I wanna do all that boyfriend stuff now. It’s weird, but a good weird, you know.”
“And here you were playing like you didn’t care all this time, I knew it,” I grinned.
“Yeah. Thanks for not being able to hold your liquor and making out with Ashley and getting caught, we wouldn’t have realized what we really meant to each other.”
“Glad I could help. At least something good came out of all of this.”
“Ok man enough of that downer talk, the races are about to start, let’s enjoy it.”
So that’s why Stephanie suddenly forgave me out of nowhere. I knew something happened but I didn’t think it would be that. Even though I’m in a shitty situation myself, it’s nice that they finally got everything out on the table and acted on it. I had a lot of making up to do if Rita and I were ever gonna get back to the way we were, but for now Chris was right, I needed to distract myself from all the problems so I could come back somewhat refreshed and with a clearer head, that way I could go about handling the situation better.


It turns out, though I wasn’t nearly as excited as dad and Mr. Wilson was, this was exactly what I needed to take my mind off of things. From the second the first two cars made their way to the strip I was lost in the show. I don’t know if it was the atmosphere, the smell of various car fumes circulating through the air, or just everyone around me having a good time, but it rubbed off on me, and soon I was cheering just as loud when I car I liked zoomed past us on the way to the finish line. All types of cars were out there; Dodge Challenger, Pontiac GTO, Toyota Supra, a Corvette, Mustangs, and the list goes on. One of the drivers even let dad drive around in his 1980’s Thunderbird, a car he used to have (once he proved he knew a thing or two about it) and got to relive a little of his youth, if only for a little while. We went around taking pictures of everyone’s cars during the break, and went back to watching them fly down the pavement until there were only two cars left, a 1991 Beretta GTZ and a 1979 Chevy Monza. The Monza had it all the way until the Beretta kicked in the last gear and crossed the finish line a full second ahead, it was great. The races closed for the day and those that didn’t leave stayed to talk cars with each other or take pictures with different cars, our dads were talking cars while Chris and I were among the ones taking pictures. After we’d taken all the pictures we’d wanted and when our dads had finally decided to leave, we met back up and headed the car.
“That was one of the better shows they had. A way bigger variety of cars,” Mr. Wilson said.
“Yeah it was great! When’s the next one supposed to be happening?” dad asked.
“I don’t know, sometime in around six months I think, I’ll find out.”
“If I get that promotion at work I can by a car and maybe get in the race myself.”
“Wouldn’t that be something. What kind of car you think you’d get?”
“Right now I wouldn’t even care, I just wanna race again.”
Dad’s comments jumped me back to reality. He needed a promotion to get the car, Ashley’s dad controls the promotion, Ashley controls us, Rita is gonna fight against it, maybe even Ashley, and dad won’t get the promotion, maybe even get fired, all because of my stupidity. While I didn’t completely go back to my depressed state, I did get back into a sort of funk, but after having time to take my mind off it for a while, I was able to think clearer, and come up with a better, more rational way to get through to Rita; I just needed her to sit down and talk to me first, which is a challenge in itself.


On the drive back to the Wilson’s it was the same as it was on the way there, with our dad’s talking about cars, Chris texting constant with Steph, and me sitting there looking out the window. While it didn’t exactly bother me, but unlike the drive there, I didn’t wanna just sit there, I didn’t wanna wait until I got home to talk to Rita, I wanted to get a jump now. I started calling her over and over again, and each time it would go straight to voicemail. Resigning to the fact she wouldn’t answer, I left her a voicemail saying I’d keep calling until she answered, and I’d keep knocking on the door at home if she wouldn’t let me in. we had to clear the air, too much time was going by, too much damage was being done. We had to get back to the old Rita and Randy before there would be no Rita and Randy left, and I for one would not have that.
We pulled back up to the Wilson’s and got out; my dad getting a few more car jokes in before we left and Chris finally getting off the phone with Stephanie.
“Finally done huh? The way you two are texting you’ll never go to sleep,” I said.


“I don’t know what it is man, it’s just different now. You know that feeling,” Chris replied.
“I knew that feeling you mean.”
“It isn’t over man, the fat lady didn’t sing yet, she’s still eating. You still have plenty of time to work this out man, I’ll even get Stephanie to talk to her.”
“Thanks, that’ll help a lot seeing as she was more made than Rita at first.”
“Here’s hoping, catch you later. Let me know how everything turns out.”
I nodded as he and Mr. Wilson walked into their house and dad and I got back in his car. Dad was still buzzing from the excitement from the races, and I didn’t wanna kill his mood, so I tuned the radio until I found a song I liked and sang it as a distraction. Either dad knew what I was doing, or he didn’t have a clue because he was in his own little world pretending to race every car he passed, even making the vroom noise as he passed them. The music thing was actually working, so good I almost didn’t hear my phone ringing I had the radio up so loud. I thought it might’ve been Chris telling me I forgot something, or Rita finally calling me back, but I was wrong on both accounts, it was the B***h herself, calling to ruin everything.
“What,” I said as plain as I could when I answered.
“What? That’s no way to answer your mistress…”


“You’re not my mistress, I’m not your slave, what do you want Ashley?”
“I require some servicing tonight, and thanks to Rita’s performance this morning, your names are at the top of the list. Now this time I wanna see what you can do.”
“Sorry, I have plans.”
“With who? Stephanie’s still mad at you and Rita’s still pissed, unless your plans is with them to try to kiss butt0ckz and get back on their good side. Forget about that right now, come get on my good side, you can come kiss my butt0ckz all night.”
“You need to quit, we told you that was a one-time thing.”
“And I told you if you wanted me to keep my mouth shut you are to do what I say.”
“I didn’t agree to that, especially to come back twice in one day, I have a life too.”
“Please you’re probably sitting on the couch right now hoping I’d call.”
“Yep that’s exactly what I’m doing. Go get one of your lesbo girlfriends to kiss your butt0ckz.”
“I don’t know where you suddenly got this confidence from, but it isn’t gonna end well for you if you don’t give me what I want, and you know what I want Randy…”
“I know if Rita did that good and you think I’m better you won’t wanna ruin a good thing.”
“Haha are you gloating? Are you admitting you wanna eat my K!ttyC@t? I knew it.”
“Goodbye Ashley.”

I hung up before she could say anything else and try to trap me in another one of her moments.

Dad was pretending to look at the road and listen to the radio to make it seem like he wasn’t listening, but I knew he didn’t like the station I had it on.

“Yeah she’s the reason for all the problems,” I answered before he could ask.

“It sounds like she was trying to schedule another visit with you.”

“Why did she have to be the daughter of your client, of all people?”
“Look son, don’t think you have to do something you don’t wanna do because you’re scared of me losing an account, there are plenty more out there.”

“But not like this one, this one makes you a partner. You could retire off this dad.”


“I’ll have other opportunities, don’t sacrifice your dignity for a job, it’s never worth it.”

“So what do I do about her?”
“Whatever you want, I won’t be mad. Just don’t kill her; I can’t explain that to her dad.”

We laughed it off as we turned on the main intersection leading back to our house. It meant a lot knowing he wouldn’t be mad at me for costing him a once in a lifetime promotion, and even more that he was against everything Ashley wanted out of me. I wanted to call Ashley and tell her I didn’t care what she did, that we weren’t gonna be her puppets, but that wasn’t a decision I could make on my own, and Rita still wasn’t talking to me. We were coming up on our favorite ice cream shop and it gave me an idea, maybe if I got her out of the house and around other people I might have a different outcome, plus it wouldn’t hurt to have a banana split waiting for her when she got here, it was worth a shot.

“Dad, let me out at the ice cream shop, I have an idea that might fix this.”

“The ice cream shop? Aren’t they closed, it’s past nine.”

“They close at ten. I don’t know why so late, not that many people come in that last hour.”
“Ok suit yourself. Don’t be out too late, you gotta get up bright and early to do nothing.”

“Ha-ha dad real funny. See you back at the house.”

He let me out and I went and sat at a table and just stared at the traffic. I was hesitant to call Rita, not wanting to be blown off in public, but I’d come this far and it’d be pretty stupid to chicken out now, so I pulled out my phone and called her. She let it ring a few times, which I knew was coming, but I was determined, and I kept calling until she finally answered.

“Randy I…”
“Please don’t hang up, we NEED to talk.”

“What’s there to say that hasn’t already been said?”
“A lot. And some stuff you need to hear.”
“Where are you, I didn’t see you come in with dad.”

“I’m at the ice cream shop, can you meet me?”
“I’m in my sleep clothes, I wasn’t really planning on going back outside.”

“That’s ok, just come in that, noones really here anyway.”

“Fine, I’m not staying long though, me and mom are going somewhere in the morning.”

“Ok. You’ll see me when you get here, I’m in the front in the enclosed section.”

“Ok.”

She hung up before I could say anything else.


Though she was quick to rush me off the phone and was still pissed, she noticed I wasn’t there, which is reassuring a desperately needed. I went up and ordered us both a banana split (much to the window person’s surprise that anyone was still there) and went back to the table to wait for her. Even though we lived around the corner, I knew she wasn’t gonna rush to get here, so I left hers in the case and started eating mine.


I was trying to figure out exactly what to say and how to say it so I wouldn’t do any more damage, if that was even possible anymore.

Maybe Stephanie called her earlier and tried to reason with her on my behalf, that’s probably why she finally answered and agreed to come meet me, either way it went, I had one last try at this, and I wasn’t gonna blow it. I didn’t realize how fast I was going through my ice cream until I looked down and saw about ¼ of it left, I must have been on auto pilot while I was thinking about what to say. She really was taking her time getting here, another way of making me suffer I guess, but if everything went how I hoped it would, it’d be worth it in the end, just to see that smile on her face again. just thinking about her brought a smile to my face, all the fun things we did, the games we played, all the wild stuff we did…

“So THIS this is where you’ve been hiding out all night!”
Please no. Anybody else, please. I already knew it was her, I just didn’t wanna turn around and look at her, but she saved me the trouble and sat down directly in front of me. Bleeping Ashley.
“You bought me a banana split? Or is it for Riiiiitaaaaaa! I saw you daydreaming.”
“What are you stalking me now?”
“Please, it wasn’t hard to find you, you have no life. You’re only at two places when you aren’t at someone’s house, at Mikey’s, but they close at nine, or here, buying ice cream for your sister girlfriend incest lover. Looks like she stood you up, that’s too bad.”
“She didn’t stand me up she’s coming, so you need to leave.”
“Why? And miss out on the epic conversation that’s about to happen? I don’t think so!”
“Ashley you’ve done enough damage, can you leave, please?”
“There it is again, the manners when you want something. Pretty soon I’ll have you begging to eat my K!ttyC@t all the time, we both know how much you’d enjoy that,” she grinned.
I didn’t say anything. I just sat there and ignored her. I knew it wouldn’t last long, but it was better than her countering everything I said. Whenever I looked down, she’d try to look under me, if I looked past her, she’d slide her face in my view, when I turned my chair around, she got up and walked around in front of me and just stood there with her arms crossed.
“I can do this all night, but I’d rather you be doing something else,” she said.
“Go away Ashley not happening.”
“I’ll bring Rita and have her watch while you eat me out this time, then I’ll see whose better. If she does a good job maybe I’ll return the favor, not on you though…”


“Just leave her out of this. She has enough to deal with already,” I cut her off.
“You brought her into this the moment you stuck your J0yst!ck in her. Had it been Stephanie that left her phone I wouldn’t have thought anything of it once I found pictures, but you two not only Bleeping each other, but akeeping proof? You were asking to be found out!”