Must Read: Tales of A Campus Guy (18+)

7 years ago

Must Read: Tales of A Campus Guy (18+)

“You no go fit believe wetin happen here this morning”, Val said as they entered his house.

“Person die here abi your mama come meet you when you dey …………………..?”
Val couldn’t wait for him to finish before he started cursing.

“Why e b say since wey I know you better thing thing never commot from your mouth eh?

Why you get bad mouth pass yourself, why?”

He asked Uzo who was paying more attention to the corn he was eating than what Val was saying.

“I don’t know your problem oo, just small jamb question wey I ask you dey talk rubbish, If I come ask you screening exam question, na em be say na die you go die put for the question abi?”

“I don tell you say no be all the time person dey play but you no dey hear” Val shot back.

“If to say you dey serious na for hospital we go they talk this matter na.”

“See, how I even take know you for this school?” Val asked looking at him.

“Abeg who you ‘run’ this mineral remain for?” Uzo asked shaking the half bottle of coke in his hand, “make I ‘run’ am finish na since no other better something dey your house”.

“See no try my spirit this evening, better drop that thing before I go come meet you there”.

“Abeg this coke tastes different”, Uzo said holding the now empty bottle of coke in his hand. “abeg from where you take buy this thing, go check whether e remain there abeg”, Uzo said dropping the empty bottle of coke on the floor.

“See make I tell you, na 300 wey I buy that coke. Thank God say I dey owe you 500. Just comot 300 hundred from 500 and wetin remain na e I dey owe you”.

“Why you no tell mi say na blood of Jesus na e I just drink, ewu”, Uzo cursed. “Ehen before I go even forget, wetin you talk say been happen?”

“After you don run my coke with that your bad mouth finish na e you dey ask me wetin happen abi? Make I hear say I tell you anything”.

“I no dey beg you oo, na wen I go begin scatter things for this your yeye room na then you go begin talk the one wey I no even ask you”.

“See, na my room you dey dey talk all these your nonsense o, I go just tear you one slap now mak your head kul down small”.

“You wan talk abi make I start from your television dey scatter?” Uzo asked moving towards his television with a joking seriousness.

“Oya come sitdon make I tell you idiot” Val cursed.

“Good, oya begin” Uzo commanded sitting on one of the plastic sits.

“Shebi you remember that time wey I been tell you say I wan rest?” He asked Uzo.

“Ehe!” Uzo answered inquisitively.

“Hmmmmm! E no tey o na e person come knock for my door o. As I go open door, e come be say na Vivy and her roommate dey knock o”.

“Abeg who come be Vivy again?”, Uzo asked looking at him. “You know say you don commit reach say the register wey you keep for babes in this your house don full”.

“See If you no wan make I close my mouth now no begin talk rubbish.”

“Oya no vex na, na joke I dey joke, abi you no understand again”, Uzo pleadingly said to him.

“I no understand anything”, Val retorted feigning annoyance.

“Oya no vex my manchi” Uzo hailed.

“The Spartacus off my time”, he continued laughing.

“Ewu!” Val cursed. “Vivy na that babe wey I been tell you say I meet for Rita birthday for first year na”

“Wait na that one wey dey pharmacy department?” Uzo inquired.

“Ehe na now you come”, Val replied.

“But I think say you and the babe no dey follow talk again since wey that her guy been wan break your skul?” He asked looking mockingly.

“Nna eeh!!, I no know wetin carry me go call the girl yesterday o. Na e she say mak I come see her for hostel. You know I so much love that girl. I know even wait for the 6:30 wey she give me reach before running down to her hostel. As I enter her room o, na e her rummies tell me say she go downstairs go buy something make I wait for am. With all my knotting, you know as I dey knot for that kin thing na, I come sitdon dey wait this girl. From 6:30 pm to 9:00 pm this babe still dey buy something downstairs”.

Uzo bursted out laughing
“No be laughing matter o. As I vex comot from the room dey come back my house, on how I dey vex na I know come look road well well, na e I fall put for inside one muddy water like that”.

Uzo couldn’t control himself again as he fall to the ground laughing. “Chai! My guy don suffer o”, he said amidst laughing and tears trickling down from his eyes.