Must Read: NYSC Tale: A Clarion Call To Confusion (18+)

7 years ago

Must Read: NYSC Tale: A Clarion Call To Confusion (18+)

We prepared the following morning and left for work. Shania was going to stay till Wednesday so I told her that later in the day, she could come around the office if she feels bored at home.

On our way to the office, I thanked IJ for corroborating my story on the food.
She waved it off and told me that I should better be careful. I also apologized on Shania’s behalf about the shouting of the previous night but she told me that she knew that it was going to happen so she just waited till it happened before she slept.

Later in the day, Shania came into my office with IJ. I was busy with some work so I didn’t really have time for them. They left after staying for a few minutes while I continued with the work I had at hand. Constance was on seat when they came in so I had introduced Shania to her as my girlfriend. When they left, Constance cleared her throat to get my attention but knowing already that she was out to gossip, I ignored her.

I finished the work earlier than expected.
By lunch time, I went down to IJ’s section and we all went out to eat.

After we had lunch, I went back to the office and took permission to go. I left home with Shania while IJ stayed back at her office.
When we got home, we met the two Yoruba girls, on sighting us, they hushed whatever they were discussing. I couldn’t understand the reason for their actions any time I was around.

This was so obvious that Shania noticed it and had to ask me what was wrong with them, I told her that I didn’t know that they have been that way since they packed in.

After I changed and la!d on the bed, she started something I had always been afraid of discussing with her.

“There is something that I have been wanting to discuss with you, let me just say it’s one of the reasons I came because it’s not something I prefer talking over the phone with you” she said sitting up on the bed.

“Ok, what is that?”

She cleared her throat and stared at me for some moment before spilling it out.

“What plans do you have for US. I mean does the future hold anything for us?

Are we just dating for the sake of dating and straffing?

When you think about your future do you see me in it?”

Thoughts of what the future holds or who I would settle down with has never crossed my mind. In actual sense the word “marriage” is one dreaded word I always try to disassociate myself from. I don’t know why I was so afraid of it, though I know it’s inevitable and is something I must get involved with. On the other hand, I never expected that a question like this will come up between me and any of the girls, I have always hidden in the pretext of taking it ‘one step at a time’ to cover the fear that eludes me when this questions gets involved, but now I am face to face with it.

I heaved a big sigh, releasing the air that has been trapped inside of me. All the while I was thinking, she had her eyes glued on me and that made me more uncomfortable and confused. Getting my thoughts together, I looked at her and smiled before dishing out my answer.

“Shania I am going to be very sincere with you. The thought of settling down in future is one thought I have always closed my mind to.

Why I am so afraid of it, I don’t know but thinking of marriage and who to settle down with has not crossed my mind yet.

It’s something I believe will sort itself out when the time comes. I don’t know if you are in my plans in future or not, but at this moment, I know I have you and that is where my mind is.

If we are able to work this through to the future, then we can decide what we want to make out of it. I don’t know if this makes any sense to you, but this is the most sincere answer I can give you.”

“Then I guess for this moment we are just dating and straffing with no plans for each other?”

“We aren’t just straffing, I love you and you know it.”

“I don’t. if you don’t see me in your future then we are just straffing. Purity I think about us every time, I dream about us ending up together. This thing we have means something to me. I see us beyond this service year, I see us in the next 10years together.”

“Shania I love you and believe me, there is nothing I will desire more than having you with me when that time comes.

That I don’t think about the future with you doesn’t mean I don’t wish for it. But what if I start building this hope and tomorrow it all burns into flames?”

“What do you mean by burning into flames.?” She asked.

“I mean what if after setting out and planning the future with you and in the nearest future, we happen not to be together.

How do you think that will fare with me?”

Shania I love you and I will want us to work this through step by step. Remember we never knew we will end up here together.

So let’s just do our best and leave the rest for God.

If we are destined to be together, then definitely we will.”

“Purity, people make plans. It’s when you make plans, pray and work towards it that things falls into place for you.

Nature or God can’t fix what we didn’t plan to fix for ourselves that’s what I believe.
No matter what faith we have without good work it’s all in vain and no matter the good work we engage in without faith, I don’t think that works miracles either.”

“Let me ask you something, did we plan to serve in this state? Look at what happened.”

“At least we had a plan and even worked towards it. God must have seen our efforts and maybe knows that Lagos wouldn’t have been good for us and decided to bring us down here.

Purity don’t get me wrong, I am not trying to tie you down and force myself on you.

There is a recent development which prompted me to ask and know where I stand with you.”

“What is the development?”

“I would be going outside the country for my masters when we are done with service year.

I got a letter of admission from Robert Gordon University last week, and I don’t want to leave here without someone I am sure of coming back to. Don’t get me wrong, I am not desperate, but I don’t want to leave without making sure that we are committed to each other.”

“You never told me about your masters plan.” I said more like a question.

“Yea I know, it’s just something that came up.”

“Shania service year just started.

The truth is that I don’t even know my plans after service year. Whether I am furthering my education or looking for a job, I don’t know.

This is how confused I am of the future, but it seems you have everything planned out for yourself. Now you have pricked my conscience and I am going to do a whole lot of thinking so please just give me some time to think my life through ok?”

“Seriously, now I know I have a very confused boyfriend” she said smiling. “Well just know that I love you and I’m willing to stay by your side if you want me and though you don’t have a plan for the future yet, I know you are a great guy and will be great. You just need to think things through and know what you want” she said kissing my fore head.

I relaxed back to the bed with lots of thought running through my mind. After we talked, she left to the kitchen to prepare something for us to eat.