Story: The Church Accountant (+18) - Season 3 - Episode 18

7 years ago

Story: The Church Accountant (+18) - Season 3 - Episode 18

She woke me around 4am and as i stood up I felt as if I was tied on my feet with 16 9” sandcrete blocks on each leg. I beckoned on her to be going home and I slept back. I woke up around 8.30am feeling relieved a bit but drained. I quickly prepared for office and I went there. I met the other staff doing morning devotion. After the devotion, I called on Mercy to get me breakfast and to buy a tin of milk. I checked my phone and saw 17 missed calls, 3 missed Skype calls from Titilayo and 22 Whatsapp notifications. I had to dial Titilayo’s number

Titilayo: happy birthday my dear Michael. But I’m angry at you

Me: what happened?

Titilayo: ever since you resumed in that church, you never had time for me again. Even to call me it will be war…………or have I gotten a replacement?

Me: replacement ke? When I don’t want to “fi acid taba”

Titilayo: well I believe you a bit. But I want to be assured that nobody is space – booking over there.

Me: no……..

Titilayo: Birthday boy, so how are we doing your birthday?

Me: I am not feeling fine presently. I feel weak.

Titilayo: ok. But hope those girls haven’t milked you sha?

ME: emi ke? No lady dey milk me here

Titilayo: Ok. But dear, I will be going to Jos tomorrow

Me: emi n sele nibe (what’s happening there?)

Titilayo: do you know Gimbiya; my bestie in school is having her wedding this Saturday

Me: ok ooo. Bring potatoes and carrots for me.

Titilayo: bring ego (money)

We both laughed. After ending the call, I received a call from someone.

Stranger: is that Mike?

Me: yes I am. Who am I speaking with?

Stranger: do you know Kafeeya Lawal?

Me: yes but who the h3ll am I speaking with?

Stranger: Why do you want to know me?

Me: when you are not an angel?

Stranger: I want to just tell you to keep away from her. you visited her this Saturday. (I gasped). You think I won’t know abi? Anything that Banky Endowed touches doesn’t fly around or is being shared with anyone.

Me: Banky Endowed…….Ah!!!!!! Alobam 1 of Jebba!!!

Stranger: how did you know my title?

Me: it is me. Mickey Mouse 101 gbogbo Mokwa Land

Banky: ah!!!!!! Mickey Mouse!!!!!! So you are the one I am talking with

Me: na me o.

Banky: how far?

Me: I dey bros

Banky: but how did you know Kafeeya

Me: Kafeeya t’o n so yen is my church member

Banky: ok……. Okan mi sese ba’le (I’m at ease now) bawo ni Ki lo wa se ni’badan

Me: I work at Centre for Faith and Liberty at Idi – ishin as the church accountant

Banky: Ile owo!!!! Wow you are lucky that you are working in that church.

Me: where are you working presently?

Banky: I am a certified hustler.

Me: O gbadun. But, ki lo wa laarin iwo ati Kafeeya?

Banky: I had wanted to date her but she has been rebuffing my advances. So I decided that I will ensure that I frustrate the living daylight out of the guy that comes under her radar. But since it is you ma guy, I will release her on 1 condition that you will settle me wella.

ME: ok mo ti gbo yin sir….

Banky: what about our wife?

Me: who?

Banky: your wife in school. Federal Government College New Bussa

Me: ah!!! Titilayo? She’s in Lokoja presently

Banky: you know say na you be her only friend then so……

Me: (cuts in) we are dating now.

Banky: wa se’re omo. Mickey da Mike. With all your holy – holy in school, you dey eye dat girl?

Me: (laughs) you no well at all. I will store your number and call you later.

Banky: ok boss. I will be expecting your call.

Me: ok. Take care. Bye (call ends)

To Be Continued…