Story: Adebimpe The Facebook Girl (+18) - Season 7 - Episode 22

8 years ago

Story: Adebimpe The Facebook Girl (+18) - Season 7 - Episode 22

I locked my car and I went inside my room, sat down on my bed and started thinking of Lolade.
“so, I can see this girl again?”
“what really broke us up sef?”
“chaii, those good old days of office flings”
“those days of putting postinor inside plastic drink”
” sege the bad guy really had a hand in it then”
” so, she would be here for two weeks?”
” she has really grown bigger oooooo”
” her burst even appeared to have increased”
I was still thinking about Lolade when I heard a knock on my door. “Who is there?” I asked and I got a response from outside, “it’s me Lolade”. I quickly jumped up from the bed, went to the door and opened it for her to come in. Lolade entered and sat down on my bed while I sat close to her and we started talking.

ME: Lolade, I can’t believe what my eyes saw just now; I never knew I could see you again.

LOLADE: shebi you are the one who abandoned me and left me.

ME: not like that now Lolade, I told you that I lost my phone and as a result of that, I lost all contacts. When I retrieved my line three weeks later, I expected you to call me so as to save your number but you didn’t call.

LOLADE: you lied Onihaxy. I called you more than a month after I gained admission and it wasn’t reachable.

ME: ****laughed*** heeeeee!!!!. See the way you mentioned my name , have you forgotten that I was your Oga?

LOLADE: ***smiled*** see you!!!. You sold your birthright the day you lied on my chest.

ME: Ehn ehn?

LOLADE: yes now. So you don’t know before?

ME: hmmmmmmmmmmm.

LOLADE: why and when did you leave ado ekiti?

ME: I got another job here in Lagos, so I had to relocate

LOLADE: hmmmmm. So, how is your wife?

ME: my wife kee?, I haven’t married yet

LOLADE: I mean your girlfriend.

ME: Girlfriend?, I’m still searching oooo. Since you left me and broke communications with me, I have remained single.

LOLADE: so, you wanted to tell me that you don’t have anyone you dated or you are dating since we lost contact?

ME: Not really sha. I used to have one but it is not a serious relationship.

LOLADE: Onihaxy!!!!!!, so you mean you have been sleeping with her and you never took her serious?

ME: Not like that, she is the one that never took me serious. I think she has some other guys in her heart.

LOLADE: hmmmmmm. eeeyah, some ladies sha.

ME: so what about you, do you have any guy you are dating?

LOLADE: yes of course. He is a non-teaching staff in my school; we are even planning to have our introduction early next year.

ME:****Chai!!!!!!!!, so why am I even lying, this meat son escape oooooo****** huuuuuuuuh, so you mean you are in a relationship presently?

LOLADE: yes of course, any problem with that?

ME: but we didn’t break up now Lolade, we only lost contacts and we have now found each other again.

LOLADE: So you expected me to wait till forever waiting for you?. What if we didn’t meet today nko?.

ME: please LOLADE, please!!!!!!!!!!

LOLADE: its late Onihaxy. I have moved on, you too should do the same.
******chaiii, na like this this girl go disappear without me marking any attendance? lailai********. I moved closer to her and started to compose lovely and romantic poems to her while rubbing her laps at the same time. LOLADE was showing some little resistance and she insisted on not dating me again, I immediately remembered that kissing was her weak point back then when we were together. I stylishly moved my head closer to her head in the pretense that I was begging her and I locked her lips with mine. Just like magic, we started kissing passionately. We kissed for over two minutes and it was time for my hand to begin movements when her phone suddenly began to ring out loudly. Just as if a charm was removed from her, she regained her consciousness and brought out the phone from her pocket and screamed.
“heeeeeee!!!!, it is my sister oooooooo”. She picked the call and they started talking. I guess her sister was already back from an outing because I could hear LOLADE saying to her sister that she went to buy recharge card from outside. she quickly jumped up from the bed, promised to see me some other times, and I followed her to the corridor and I watched her tiptoe to the next building where her sister was living. I went back into my room and I was like
“why will her sister return at this critical time?”
” and I’m almost halfway to the promise land oooo”
“another opportunity must present itself”
” shebi she would be staying for two weeks?
” and today is just her day 2 out of two weeks?”
” no problem”

I picked up my phone to update Segun on whatsapp about the latest happening.

ME: Hello Segun.

SEGE: how you dey Onihaxy?

ME: I’m fine oooo. I saw someone today, guess who?

SEGE: Betty?, is she back?

ME: it wasn’t Betty

SEGE: then who?

ME: Lolade

SEGE: the one that always demand for airtime?

ME: No, that one is kemi. Lolade is the girl working in the pure water factory I worked with in ado ekiti

SEGE: ooooh, the one you dissolved postinor inside bottled drink for her to drink?

ME: yeah, the one you told me to dissolve drugs inside drink for.

SEGE: So na me you dey redirect the evil back to?

ME: yes na. no be you be my coach?

SEGE: You no well. so how did you guys met?

ME: I came back from my cousin’s place this morning and I met her fetching water from the tap at the side of the fence.

SEGE: how come?, is she now living in the neighbourhood?

ME: At all, she said her school is on break and she came to spend the weekend with her sister whom we lived in the same compound together.

SEGE: Hmmmmmmmmmmm. I trust you Onihaxy, you must be planning to dig her treasure island by now.

ME: Heeeeeeee!!!!!. How did you know?

SEGE: because I knew my friend too much

ME: actually, she came to my room after I met her outside. I tried playing loverboy for her but she didn’t fall for it, she said she is already in love with another guy.

SEGE: Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

ME: I tried navigating through the shortcut by approaching her via her weak point which was kissing. I was almost heading to the island until her sister spoilt my mission by calling her on her phone.

SEGE: Hmmmmmmmmmmm, badt guy. chaiiiii, you bad pass me seriously.

ME: you be my boss.

SEGE: but Onihaxy, I will like to chip in a little advice.

ME: what is the advice?

SEGE: why not let go of this girls and wait on this girl who had sacrifice everything for you. Seriously, there is time for everything. Time to be a player and time to be a serious lover; you should start planning your matrimony now.

ME: hmmmmm ****what is this one saying?*******