I had my shower on getting home that Saturday morning. I sat down on my bed and began to think about lots of things.
“I can’t believe what just happened”
“I can’t believe I just had s*x with Funmilayo”
” Was she really unconscious?”
” Was she really under the influence of alcohol?”
” Or was it an intentional act?”
” I could remember she was calling me her husband”
” Was she seeing me as her late husband?”
” How do I face her on Monday to discuss this?”
“I just hope I am not putting my job on the line?”
” Should I call her on phone right away?”
“What will I tell her when I call?”
“Should I say I was also under the influence of alcohol too?
” But I never took any alcohol?”
” All I took was an energy drink and it wasn’t alcoholic”
I thought and thought until I decided to put it off my mind. As I was about to stand up from the bed, I heard a WhatsApp notification sound on my phone, I picked up the phone to check and it was a chat from Segun.
SEGE: hi Onihaxy
ME: I’m good Onihaxy, how you dey?
SEGE: I dey fine jaree. How far about the outing na?, how did it go?
ME: that outing was something else oooo. It has put me into trouble.
SEGE: what trouble is that?, did Henry see you with her?
SEGE: ok, Bimpe came there and fought with Funmi abi?
ME: no jor
SEGE: then what happened?
ME: we ended up having s*x
SEGE: yeaaaaaaah!!!!. That’s my boy. Is that what you referred to as trouble?
SEGE: it’s an achievement na. How come you said its trouble?
ME: it happened in an awkward way.
SEGE: awkward way as how?, gist me abeg.
ME: ok, we got to the bar and she ended up been drunk after taking 5 bottles of Guinness.
SEGE: heeeeeee!!!!, 5 bottles?
SEGE: so your boss na brewery?
ME: I never knew she used to drink until yesterday.
SEGE: so what happened next?
ME: she was drunk and intoxicated that she began to act funny and say some funny things
SEGE: like someone that is high abi?
SEGE: ok, continue.
ME: so I called on some guys to help me take her to the car. So I drove her to her house and we arrived there at some minutes to 12am.
SEGE: waoooooh, na late night outing ooooo. It means you slept in her house niyen?
SEGE: then what happened next?
ME: she pulled off all her cloths in my presence and s£duced me to erection. The funniest part was that she called me her husband and she was addressing me as if she was addressing her husband.
SEGE: ok, I’m with you
ME: she made the move and we had s*x and she slept off thereafter.
SEGE: hmmmmm. That’s called “drunk s*x ooooo” the thing dey sweet die. Abi no be so?
ME: you no well Segun.
SEGE: was she conscious after the s*x?
ME: no, she slept off immediately.
SEGE: so why are you now saying it led you into trouble?
ME: I don’t know if she was conscious of the s*x or not, so it won’t appear as if I raped her or took advantage of her drunken state to molest her.
SEGE: has she called you since then?
ME: no ooo, she hasn’t. I was even thinking of calling her myself but I don’t know what to say if I call.
SEGE: don’t call her, let her call you first. And when you see her, don’t say anything relating to the occurrence. Just pretend as if nothing happened.
ME: but what if she talk about it?, or ask about what happened when we got to her house?
SEGE: just wait till then now. Then you will tell her that she was the one that lured you and molested you.
ME: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Will that work?
SEGE: very sure. Just don’t say anything about it until she brings it up.
ME: I suspended my chat with Segun and I tried doing some other stuff until about 20 minutes later when I heard the ringtone of my phone. I checked the screen and it was a call from Funmilayo. I suddenly started to breathe heavily, my hand shook as I held the phone, I couldn’t pick the first call out of fear until the second call came in and I summoned courage to pick it up.
ME: ***shaking voice*** hi ma, sorry, hello Funmi
FUNMI: hello Onihaxy, hope you are fine?
ME: I’m fine ma. Sorry, I’m fine Funmilayo.
FUNMI: thanks so much for yesterday.
ME: you are welcome.
FUNMI: Onihaxy, what happened yesterday night?
ME: ****chai!!!!, e don happen****