Adebimpe The Facebook Girl

Episode 8 years ago

Adebimpe The Facebook Girl

ME: ogbeni how far?

SEGE: oko bimpe, I dey oooooo.

ME: you know well, who be oko bimpe?

SEGE: eeeh, sorry, Mr maga I mean jaree

ME: you no well ni

SEGE: loooool

ME: errrhhhm, you still remember this girl,
kemi?

SEGE: who is kemi?

ME: that my babe wey I tell you say she dey
stay for lag na.

SEGE: I no remember ooo.

ME: the one I met before bimpe na.

SEGE: oooooooooooooh, that your recharge
card babe abi?.

ME: yeah

SEGE: wetin do her?

ME: she just called me say she dey come akure next weekend

SEGE: that one nice na. Na kitten weekend be
that for you na.

ME: you no well

SEGE: are you guys still dating?

ME: we never broke up before, we only stopped communicating
with each other

SeGE: and wetin be that one?, no be break-up
be that.

ME: that one aside jaree. She said I should send
her airtime.

SEGE: hmmmmm. I trust you say you don send
am already.

ME: no oooo, I am contemplating on whether
to send or not.

SEGE: that babe na cheap airtime scammer.
But since she talk say she dey come akure, risk this last one and
send like 200mtn
sha. Atleast to pour water on ground and then
walk on wet
ground.

ME: thanks jaree my guy.

SEGE: I hear. But don’t send another airtime
again until you set
your eyes on her oooooo.

ME: I hear.
The following morning on my way to work, I
stopped at a vendor and got a N200 airtime for kemi. As usual, she
only called to
thank me in 12 seconds and later hanged up.
>>Story From => www.focuswap.com

3days gone and I
didn’t hear from kemi again until the 4th night
which was thursday night when she called me again.

ME: hello dear, how are you?

KEMI: I’m fine dear, thanks for the other day

ME: you are welcome dear

KEMI: I also want to remind you that I would
be around next weekend oooo. And you will talk me out and
buy gifts for me
ooo.

ME: no problem dear.

KEMI: thanks love. I’m missing you seriously

ME: same here

KEMI: that’s my baby. Errrrrrhmm honey, can
you please help me
with a little airtime please?, even if it is just
N200 please.

Recharge card again?, what do I do this time?,
segun must not
hear this, and I don’t want her to change her
mind about coming
over to see me, but seriously, I was tired of
this airtime demands of a thing but at the same time, I wanted to
fu-Ck kemi.
I decided to risk it again and transfer N100
airtime to her from
my phone.

One thing about kemi was that,
whenever she gets an airtime below what she requested for, she
would never call back
to appreciate but if she gets the exact amount
she requested for,
she would call back and spend maximum of
30seconds on a call.

After the transfer, she didn’t call back as usual
and I ignored her.

On saturday, I went to visit segun and we had
a chat about kemi.
I told segun that kemi would be around on the
following week and my guy came up with a master plan as
usual.
>>Story from = www.focuswap.com

ME: sege, that my babe go arrive next
weekend ooooo

SEGE: bimpe or kemi?

ME: which one be bimpe again jor?, its kemi

SEGE: oooooh, the airtime merchandise?

ME: na you sabi.

SEGE: but is she staying over at your place?, or
just stopping by
to visit?

ME: we never discuss that one yet

SEGE: all the same, you must sample that girl
at this only
opportunity oooo. Or else, u might not see
another opportunity
again.

ME: I go try sha.

SEGE: you must do ni. You know hungry girls like
kemi requires
special tactics to get them la!d.

ME: really?, gist me.

SEGE: firstly, you must act or fake it that you
have money to spend on her when she is around, you must be
good at fake
promises and your mouth must be loaded with
lies, na that thing
dey give them hope say “hmmm, I must maga
this guy, e be like say e get money”

ME: hmmmm sege!!!!, and after that nko?
****getting
interesting*****,

SEGE: you must be smart to play your game
wella so as not to miss the fuccking. Make sure that u post all the
spending till
after sex, and not before.

ME: I still don’t understand

SEGE: mr maga, listen. If you spend before
planning to have sex, you might not get it, just keep making mouth
till you get what
you want.

ME: I hear you ooooo.

SEGE: when she dey with you. Call me and we
go act drama for her.

ME: mr sege!!!!!, I dey fear you oooo

SEGE: you think say I be mumu like you?. Na me
dey scam girls,
girls no dey dupe me. Loooool.

I returned home that night. Segun and I began our rehearsals on
whatsapp ahead of kemi’s arrival.

Ever since I
was growing up, I
had always have this mentality that “the more
you spend for her,
the more she loves you” but segun changed my orientation and
made me realize that most times, “the more
you spend blindly,
the more you are a maga”.

Between monday and Wednesday of the
following week, kemi called me more than 5 times but I didn’t pick
up, I intentionally
refused to pick up because I knew she would
always demand for
airtime.

On thursday morning, I called her
myself.

ME: hello kemi

KEMI: my love, how are you?, why did you
refused picking my
calls for the past four days?

ME: I’m sorry, the phone was on silent since
sunday night and I misplaced it since then.

I tried calling the
number from another
phone to trace it but it wasn’t ringing out, it
was this morning
that I found it inside the kitchen cupboard.

KEMI: eeyah, sorry about that my love, I was thinking you were
with another girl, maybe that’s why you
refused to pick up.

ME: ****oloshi, this one wey you dey call me
“my love” I know
say na “send me airtime” go end am********, baby when are you
coming?.

KEMI: I would arrive this evening, but the event
is tomorrow and
saturday.

ME: are you staying over at my place?

KEMI: ***laughs****

ME: why laughing?

KEMI: you are funny ni, I’m coming with my
family, we would be
staying over at the place provided for us. since
I’m not alone, I won’t be able to stay over at your place.
>>More Story @ Focuswap.com

ME: huuuuuh, how do I take you out for shopping
then?

KEMI: eeeeeeehhh!!! You mean you want to shop
for me?

ME: yes, I am even buying a phone for you since you said your
phone is giving you issues.

KEMI: huuuuh. That’s why I love you honey. But
why don’t we do
it like this?

ME: how?

KEMI: please do all the shopping and bring it to
me where I
would be staying, I might not be chanced to
spend time outside,
sebi I told you I would be with my family?

ME: ****heartbroken “oloshi”******* no problem dear, let’s
postpone all the shopping and gifts to another
day that you
would have time. I can’t just be roaming about
supermarkets
alone on my own without you by my side, I would only come and
say Hi to you wherever you are. That’s all

KEMI: common dear, so you won’t bring
anything for me?

ME: not sure, maybe apples only sha.

KEMI: haba!!!, ok you know what!

ME: what?

KEMI: let me get to akure first, then I would
know how to
sq££ze out time to go out with you.

ME: that’s my baby

KEMI: are you happy now?

ME: off course. So what time will u get to
akure?

KEMI: can’t say yet, but we would leave home
by 10am sha.

ME: ok dear, can’t wait to see you

KEMI: same here dear

ME: pls let me know when you are around

KEMI: ok my love, eeeerhm my love, please can
you do me a
favour please!!

ME: ***hanged up*****, oloshi, the only favour I
have been doing you is Airtime, “omo-ale”

Previous Episode Next Episode