He took my hand and led me to the tree he just appeared from. There was a blanket and 2 bottles of red wine with two glasses. He made me sit down.
Me: what is this for?
Henry: I want us to talk.
Good point, we really have to talk. He can’t just sweep me off with amazing sex then everything goes back to normal. He poured some red wine for us.
Me: when did you plan this?
Henry: while you were asleep. Are you well rested?
Me: I believe so.
Henry: that dress really suits you… I have never seen you wearing it.
Me: yeah… Thanks, what is it that you want to talk about?
Henry: About us… I want to know if you have forgiven me.
Me: (exhales) I have lost my father… Because of you and my unborn baby what do you think?
Henry: still a no.
Me: and right now I am beginning to get angry.
Henry: you know we are going to have to get through that.
Me: I know but there is a void in my heart, in my life… And I can’t seem to fill it. He may have been a little bit strict… And he was controlling but I loved him. He was my dad and he wanted what was good for me. So you really shouldn’t expect me to get over everything so fast.
I could feel the edge to cry building up inside me so I put my empty glass away and took the whole bottle, I think it will make feel better after this I am attacking the next bottle.
Henry: honey… I don’t want to rush you into getting over anything.
Me: good cause you shouldn’t.
Henry: and you know what… I want to stand by you through everything that you are going through.
Me: keep in mind that you are the cause.
Henry: babe… I know that it’s my fault and believe me when I say guilt has had the best of me and I realized that if I keep on beating myself for it then who is going to stand by you?
Me: guilt has had the best of you? Oh my… shocker. Do you know what has had the best of me? Its pain… Every night I cry myself to sleep… Every morning I wake up and the disappointment that my father is not here anymore because of the stupidity of my husband hits me hard… I bet you have no idea how that feels like because your father is still alive and well… I hate you for what you have done to me.
Ok, my brain is in my mouth and I am sure that this empty wine bottles is are responsible for it and frankly, I don’t even care what I say at this moment because at this moment I realize that I am not going to get of this cloud anytime soon. I looked at him and he looked totally pale and hurt.
Henry: I am sorry
He said and lay on his back looking up. I hurt his feelings somehow and with the amount of alcohol in my system I really can’t relate as to why he is being the victim at this moment.
Me: why are you being silent right now I thought you wanted us to talk?
Henry: what is the use of talking if we don’t find a way forward?
Me: what is that supposed to mean?
Henry: one stupid mistake led to all of this Trisha and guess what…. if you keep on playing the blame game we are never going to solve anything… and you are never going to heal. I know that this is my entire mistake and that’s why I spent the whole month apologizing and trying to make things right with us.
Me: really… you are scolding me now
Henry: I think you had too much to drink… let’s go home.
Me: will you let me drive?
He widened his eyes and I think I saw fear on his face.
Henry: I have learnt a lesson of never to let you drive when you are in that emotional state and when you are with me. Come on lets go.