Forgetting Yesterday - Season 1 - Episode 3

5 years ago

Forgetting Yesterday - Season 1 - Episode 3

☆☆☆

I gaze at my ceiling, I lean over to grab my phone as my alarm rings.

No use, I didn’t sleep through out the night.
After Justin arrived yesterday I fled to my room where I proceeded to cry my eyes out.
I made excuses about jet lag and time differences, they let me go.

They didn’t notice I was trembling thank God.
I swipe my phone screen and I go through my new Instagram account, I see that I have no new followers, I sigh.

I stand up and I walk to my closet I change from my nightie into a sweatshirt and trousers.
I tie my red hair into a bun.

It’s one thing about my self I never changed after I left him, my hair is mine.

I walk to my mirror and I say my mantra
“Am strong, am wise, am independent and am the best I can be”

I make my way downstairs to see magic balancing Cara on one hip and placing a dish on the dining table.

“Don’t tell me you still do the house chores”
She smiles as she passes Cara to me.
I glance at my niece and she looks at me with a thumb in her mouth.
So cute.

“We don’t want a housekeeper so we make do”
She says and I follow her to the kitchen to see julliet toasting bread.
It’s a miracle.
“She toast’s bread now?”
I ask magic.
“That’s all she can do, for now, am still trying to help her learn…..she’s hopeless”
She whispers that in an aside and I laugh.
“I heard that”
Julliet says and I smile.

I help them set the table and we sit for breakfast.
It’s comical to see justice doing baby speak and trying to feed Cara cereal.
Sage is even worse.

I take a slice of bread and butter it, Justin comes down and I tenses.

I see julliet watching me and I try not to look strained.
“Good morning”

He says as he tickles Abigail, she squeals.
I look away, it hurts to watch him do that.
He sits and everyone one continues eating.
I reach for the juice jug and he does too our hand brush and I am thrown back to some months ago.
I feel my self trembling, I can see the jug tip from the force of my shake, juice spills everywhere.
Sage grabs my hand and I turn to him, it’s then I realize I have been screaming, the babies are crying, clearly upset.

I stand up and flee to the kitchen.
What made me think I was ready to come back?
What made me feel like I was strong?
I am nothing but weak, am so weak.
Am worthless.

I feel tears push through and i let them.
I feel a presence at my back and I scramble away.

I can’t bear contact right now.
I turn around to see Sage.
“You ok baby girl?”
He asks and I nod, wiping my tears.
“Yes, am fine, I was just spooked”
He nods but it’s clear he doesn’t believe me.
“You think you can still join us for breakfast?”
He asks and I nod.
He leads me back to the dining and I take my sit.
Everyone is quiet and eating, julliet and magic have managed to calm the babies.
No one is saying anything.
Alec is looking at me crazy and I don’t blame him.
I must look crazy.
“You ok Sandy?”
Justin asks and I flinch.
He goes to take my hand and i place it in my lap, they all notice.
His hand is suspended in the air and he places it back on the table.
I don’t make eye contact as I continue.
Jesus Sandra , you are beyond pathetic.
********
Justin.
I knew she was coming back, I had prepared my self.

But that doesn’t make it any easier to see her, or face her.

It felt like a blow seeing her last night looking good and sophisticated albeit a little withdrawn.
I don’t blame her.
I deserve her ire.

But what I don’t deserve is her refusing to let me touch her?

I mean the woman literally screamed when our fingers brushed.
What’s up with that?
I eat my breakfast as usual, am not in the mood for this s--t.

I have lots of cases at the office and adding Sandra Jacobs to it is not something I have in mind.

If it’s gets bothersome I can just pack out of the house.

Am done with my breakfast.
I stand, I would have missed it if I didn’t have her thought in mind.
The woman honest to goodness flinched.
She flinched like I was going to hit her.
I immediately get angry, I don’t deserve that.
I get that I hurt her in the past but it wasn’t intentional.

I don’t say anything as I take a drink of water and I set my glass down.
She jumps.
Jesus.

I throw her a look and i walk out.
S--t.

I can’t believe this woman is getting me worked up again.

Don’t have time for this s--t.
I go up stairs and I get ready for work.

******
Sandra.

I have been sleep for close to 5 hours.
Ugh, I hate jet lag.

I rub at my eyes as I walk downstairs, I need some water.

And besides what time is it?

I step into the kitchen and I collide with Justin.
From the edge of my vision I can see julliet, justice, magic and sage in the dinning, they seem to be holding court.
Or playing a game.

I immediately jump back as our chest brush.
He grabs my hand and I scream a little.
Sage and the others look at us.
“What is wrong with you?”
He asks and I feel the familiar tremble setting in.
“Please let go of me”
“Sandra….”
“Please leave me alone”
He doesn’t.
“Please don’t touch me, let go of me”
“What the ever loving hell?”
He ask as he watches my body do a full body tremble.

“Please let go of my hand, I beg you”
He still doesn’t and I feel my self hyperventilating.

I know what will follow, I will soon black out, I see black dots on the edge of my vision.
S--t, am going to faint.
Oh hell.

Fool Sandra.

I think.

That’s all I know as I pass out.
. .